Reminiscent
by Yih
Summary: [COMPLETED!] SYAORAN x SAKURA A story that will make you believe in the power of love even though so much time has passed... A story of Reincarnation and Love.
1. Swift Tragic End

Title: **Reminiscent (1)**

Author:Yih

Written:February 14-15, 2001

Dedication:To all my loyal Reviewers (GIGANTIC HUG ^_^)!!!

Disclaimer:All rights belong to Clamp; except ACC- Shaolin, Faa, and Dangyun.

"Faa!" yelled Shaolin as he ran to where Faa was tied to a tree.Before he could reach her, his worst nightmare appeared next to her.

Dangyun, a very dangerous sorceror and one of Clow Reed's most persistent enemies, cut Faa from the tree and held a knife to her fragile throat."Not so much in control are you now?" sneered Dangyun."I will give you the pleasure to watch your flower die.And you'll be completely powerless to try and stop me!How is that for showing you my superior powers?Not even Clow Reed can stop me!"

"I will stop you!" exclaimed Shaolin.He clenched both of his hands in anger and in fear for Faa.He knew he didn't have the upperhand, no matter how much pride he had--he had to save Faa.He would even sacrifice every last visage of his dignity as long as he could save her.He pleaded with his most hated enemy, "spare her.It's me you want.You know that nothing will make my brother more enraged than if you had me in your grasp.You'll have an even sweeter victory if you had me.Just please spare Faa.Torture me, kill me, just don't hurt her.It's me you want."

He hated that his voice sounded like he was begging.But he was.He would do anything to save her.He would suffer through hell.He would die for her in a second.He saw Faa's eyes well up in tears, and she shook her head in denial of his request.He didn't care.He couldn't live if she died.It would be like a part of him was dying.No, he would rather have himself to die than for her to die.He would not allow her to die.

Dangyun laughed manically."It's not your request.I will have this delicious victory, and I shall savor it!For this is the ultimate way to win!What better way than to destroy the family of that moronic magician?It will filter into his heart and cause him to sour with bitterness.And when that happens--your brother will no longer be the strongest magician in the land!I will!I will be the strongest sorceror ever!

"Now, say good-bye to your precious flower!"

"NOOO!" screamed Shaolin in anguish.

Dangyun was quick in killing her, causing her only momentary pain, for that Shaolin was grateful.If she had to die for no reason, at least she would die painlessly.Dangyun slit her throat easily, and as she was choking on her blood, she mouthed to Shaolin, "I love you."__

_ _

He watched her beloved eyes glaze over.

Her body slumped over.

Her green eyes dulled--the life taken.

She fell to the ground.

Her spirit going heavenward.

She died.

Shaolin continued to scream his torment.He crumbled to his knees, his face in his hands.He could not live without her.He loved her so much._Why is this happening?Why was my oni-chan not here to help me?Why?It was our fight, not hers.Why should she die from the wages of our war?Why must my Faa die because of this fight?Why?WHY?Tell me WHY!_

_ _

He felt the tears spill down his face.He was crying as he moved to where Dangyun had dropped her.He held her close to him.His hot tears stained her cooling face.He could remember a time, just a few days ago, when everything seem perfect.They had talked about getting married soon.He touched the jade ring on her finger.He had even given it to her as an engagement ring--a promise of his love.He had wanted to be with her always.When the tears could no longer come, when his eyes were dry, he whispered to her with an aching voice, "I will always--I will always love you."

He rested her body on the ground.He closed her eyes.His love was gone, forever.

A terrible rage built itself next to his incredible sorrow.He gave one long, last look on Faa's fallen form.Then he turned toward Dangyun and said in a voice devoid of any emotion, "you will pay for this!"

Dangyun stared at him with a mocking sense of disbelief."Do you think you can challenge me?You don't have a tenth of the magic your brother, Clow Reed has!And Clow Reed has never been able to defeat me!I have the power to destroy EVERYTHING you hold dear.And I have.I've destroyed your beloved Faa right before your very eyes, and you believe you can make me pay for this?You can't even get close enough to harm me!"

"You will always be second best to Clow Reed.You've always tried harder than my oni-chan.You've always wanted to be the best.But to be the best you've to do it effortlessly.You will ALWAYS be less than my oni-chan!" Shaolin declared with furious eyes.

"But who has the power to destroy everything you love?Everything in your future lives?" cried out Dangyun with triumph in his eyes.

Shaolin glared at Dangyun."What do you mean by that?"

"You stupid little fool!You're even stupider than your moronic magician of a brother!You cannot comprehend what I've discovered in my quest for power.I have the secret to go into the future.And with that I can find Faa's reincarnation and murder her again.I'll even do it in front of your reincarnation!I'm sure that will make you sick to your stomach and vowing vengeance.You stupid little fool!You cannot stop me!I will be the most powerful sorceror that ever stepped on the face of the universe!Even Clow Reed cannot save the future with your precious flower!He couldn't save her now; he cannot save her later.You won't know it when I destroy her, but I'll give you back all your past memories, and you will experience all the past pains!It will eat you up, and Clow Reed will suffer as he sees it.Didn't you know that all time happens simultaneously?It will be even more satisfying to watch the flower of your life die one more time, two more times, even three more times!"

Shaolin watched as Dangyun disappeared in a cloud of black smoke.He panicked as he thought over Dangyun's words.He needed to stop this maniac once and for all! 

"Shaolin!Wait!You don't know what you are doing!" cried out Clow Reed to his younger brother.

"I'm doing what I have to do, onii-chan," Shaolin responded.

"You don't need to worry about Faa anymore.I've seen the future, she has inherited the Clow Cards and eventually changes them into the Sakura Cards.Do you know how much power she has?"

Shaolin shrugged and turned to face Clow."It doesn't matter.I'll always worry about Faa.Besides, if you were so powerful, why didn't you tell me that Faa would die?Of all the important things in my life I could lose and still live with, Faa was not one of them!Don't you understand, oni-chan?Or are you so caught up in becoming the Master of Magic that you have forgotten about love?"

A flush came upon Clow, which was no easy feat.His eyes were still as sharp as the truth in his words, "you know, you were reincarnated with Faa.You should understand the soulmate principle: that for every human soul, there is another half lurking out there.You should know that better than anyone else, if you truly felt what you felt for Faa!Don't go into the future, Shaolin," he warned his younger brother."You'll only mess up the balance of nature.You may not even be reincarnated again with Sakura!"

"Sakura?" interrupted Shaolin."Cherry blossoms, Faa's favorite flower."

Clow nodded with impatience as he continued, "you two are forever connected.You will see her again with no memories of what has happened.Be thankful for that."

"I cannot," replied Shaolin grimly."Your most hated enemy, Dangyun has vowed to destroy Faa again and again.I cannot allow himself to even come close to her.I love all of her, every single part of her.Do you know how much it hurt to watch her die?It's like a part of me died," his voice dropped to a whisper, and his eyes filled with tears."I loved her, dammit.I still love her.I will always love her.If I see her again--if I see Sakura… maybe I'll be able to move on--knowing that I will be with her again. Can you at least give me that?"

"It's too risky."

"I know you have the power.If Dangyun has discovered it, I'm sure you have, oni-chan!You always were one step ahead of him, and far beyond my league," cried out Shaolin with bitterness.

"You cannot get Faa.You say that when you see her again, it will be enough for you to move on with your life.But will it truly?Will you be able to leave her again?Sakura is Faa's later form, but she is not Faa!And if you go forward, as you said, the balance of nature will be upsetted.It will twist in agony from the torture of an aberration," answered Clow gravely.

"Send me.If you don't, I"ll find some way to get to her.You know better than anybody else what I'm capable of," Shaolin said tersely.

_Stubborn as a mule, _thought Clow.He muttered aloud, "I cannot promise you this will work."

"I have faith in you."_I just hope I'm not too late.I can't let Dangyun get to her before I can get there._Shaolin closed his eyes as Clow began to chant the incantation.

The air in the room spun around, whirling the pages of books, flying light objects, and virtually messing up the room.A dark, forbidding channel formed out of the wind.Clow blinked as he saw the abnormal portal and after that blink, Shaolin was gone.He whispered to himself, "I should have never let you go to her.You will never give her up because you aren't that kind of person.You hold on to everything so tightly.And you always will.I just hope that you know that the greatest gift you can give to Faa-Sakura is to let go after everything is settled.It is the only way for you two to be together eternally…"

Side Notes:

Shaolin- I've heard this is the Chinese vs. of his name.If I'm wrong, I'm sorry. I'm still sticking with this name.

Faa- The cantonese word for flower.Hey it's the closest thing I could get to Sakura, especially since my 'rents don't know what a Sakura is!

Dangyun- An evil magician I saw in a Cantonese movie, God I hope I'm not going to get sued, not that my spelling's that great. -_-'

**Author's Note**: Welcome to my newest series!I've hoped that I've become a better writer, but who knows?This just might suck (because I wrote it during a really snoozy class, so my mind was kinda yawning).Anyway, you know the drill--I'd love to get reviews because this series was screaming at me to write it in December!But I was on An Endless Affair and I had to finish that one!Then I got kinda blocked because I couldn't think of the perfect enemy!It's really hard without taking any ideas from other great writers, i.e. Ann (writer of Starlight, Starbright) ß great title by the way.

I have other series to finish, namely the Neon Genesis Evangelion fanfic: I Love You, Asuka.So I'll probably keep this on an every other week basis.

Enjoy!Please Review!

**Remember**: Reviewing _is_ Doing _the_ Giving _to_ Caring _authors_ Slaving _over_ Working _on_ Writing _fanfics_!


	2. Regaining What's Lost

Title:**Reminiscent (2)**

Author:Yih

Written:February 2001

Dedication:To the following Reviewers- Lullaby, C-tha, Nim, rakko-chan, Evil Idiot, jewels, Azn Pnay!!!

**I only know if you like it if you REVIEW!**

Disclaimer:All rights are Clamp except ACC- Faa, Shaolin, and Dangyun.

Shaolin felt the particles of his body trying to escape from his physical form.What he was was trying to dissipate._This is not normal, _he thought._My oni-chan was right.This is not natural._He felt a burning pain as his body/spirit/soul travled forward in time.The only comfort he had during the experience was he could actually see the visage of Clow Reed's spell.The magical light surrounded him, keeping all of him together.

He closed his eyes and lost himself in the aberrant circumstances.The madness.

He was falling.

He fell through all the air in a blur of passing time.Just as he gathered a coherent thought of what he was seeing, he lost it as he saw something else more astonishing, more miraculous.He was seeing what was and what is.He was the only other person besides Dangyun to see ancient China to present day Japan.The sights were swimming in his head.He knew he had arrived at Sakura's time.He could feel her presence.But he was still trapped in the protective time bubble that his oni-chan had created.

And then, the next thing he knew, he hit the ground jarringly.He didn't have time to catch a look at his surroundings because he heard an achingly sweet sound, and he forgot all else.He heard the voice of his beloved Faa.

"Syaoran!" exclaimed Sakura.

He glanced behind him and saw a girl that was the image of Faa.He had never expected seeing Faa's reincarnation as the perfect twin of Faa.He had study various references of the reincarnation principle and nearly all reincarnations had different physical appearances to their first form.But Sakura was Faa, he could see it in the way she moved.She was graceful.

_I love her, _he thought with an aching heart.

_He was right.Oni-chan is always right.He knew.He knew.Why didn't he tell me that Sakura was going to be everything that I loved and love about Faa?Even if Sakura had inherited Faa's soul, I could separate her from Faa, if--if she looked different.But now?I'm not so sure._

_ _

"Syaoran?" asked Sakura with concern as she kneeled down next to where he had landed."Are you okay?" 

It's just like the first time I met Faa.I was sitting down, and she knelt down before me.She asked me if I was going to be okay because she was such a caring person.She had the ability to give and give and always feel that that was enough.I see it in Sakura's eyes, she is Faa.She is all that Faa was.I—

"Syaoran, why are you wearing red?!"

"Sakura?" asked Shaolin hesitantly.

When Sakura heard Shaolin's voice, she immediately knew something was different.It wasn't that his voice was different, it was his tone.She stared at him for a long time, soaking up his features.She knew every inch of Syaoran's face.She knew that Syaoran always wore his green robe.This wasn't Syaoran.

I know Syaoran, Sakura thought.And as much as he looks like Syaoran, actually he could be a twin or even closer, he's not exactly Syaoran.I don't know why.It's the way he's acting.He's acting strange.And Syaoran just doesn't act this way.Who is he?Why is he looking at me like he can't wait to pull me to him and never let go?I see--Isee something in his eyes.Wait!I see--is it--it can't be…He loves me.

Sakura knew that it wasn't logical.She had never met him in his life, but she just knew.The vibes this stranger was giving off was tender and caring.It was loving.She reached to touch his cheek, and she knew from the glint in his eyes, he had wanted nothing more.She wanted to say she knew he wasn't Syaoran, but she didn't know how to tell him that she knew.Because it would be easier explaining the rush of feeling if he was Syaoran.

Shaolin saw the comprehension sink into her mind.She was studying as if she knew him, but also as if she didn't.He knew the moment she realized he wasn't Syaoran.Just like Faa, he mused, neither of them can keep their emotions to themselves.I can see that she knows I'm not her Syaoran.But she knows me.She's not afraid of me.And, when he saw her eyes widening with surprise, she knows that I love her.But she doesn't know why…

"Sakura?"murmured Shaolin.

His warm voice broke Sakura from his thoughts.

"I'm not Syaoran," he said clearly.

Sakura gulped.She touched his face again."You're not a ghost."

"No, I'm not a ghost," he responded with a gentle smile.

"Who are you then?" she queried.

"I'm one of the past forms of Syaoran.My name is Shaolin," he answered.

Sakura's eyes widened even more.Shaolin saw the question racing through her eyes as she darted her eyes from him to something back to him.He was about to opened his mouth of explain more when she exclaimed, "how do you know me?!"

His smile turned into a relaxing grin."Because, my love, you were my fiance."

"Hoe!!!"

He caressed her cheek and looked deepily into her eyes, "you're my Faa's reincarnation, my love."

She was drowning in the intensity of Shaolin's eyes.She had never felt like this.She was floating in the waves of his love.She felt it so clearly.This is what it feels like to be in love, she thought.He loves me.He loves me so much!I think he loves me more than Syaoran…She closed her eyes and let her body and mind flow with the blissful feeling.She had never felt this loved in her life, even with Syaoran and his return.I love this Syaoran, too.How can that be?Why is he here?

"Sakura?" he queried gently.

She opened her beautiful green eyes.

It stopped Shaolin's heart for a second, and he turned away from her.He said raggedly, "you look so much like her, Sakura.When I look at you, I feel myself falling in love with you again."He cupped her face in his warm hands, "I want to say this to you Faa/Sakura:I won't ever stop loving you."

Sakura felt a part of her reaching for him, but not quite getting there.It tried again; it failed.The part of her swirled inside of her, finally settling down.It tried to form what it wanted to say, wanted to tell her in a confusing epiphany.She finally understood what it wanted to tell her.And she asked him, "how did she die?"

"How did you know?"

His brown eyes met hers in a searching and finding gaze.

"I just knew," she murmured.

He nodded and told her, "Dangyun killed her."

"How?" 

His hands pulled away from her face."He slit her throat."

And more of her started pulling at her.She had to find the right words to express herself, she asked, "is he--is he here?"

"Yes," he replied."He's here."

She said nothing.She felt the part of her that was trying to give her all the information, start wailing in the pain of unspeakable sorrow.It wanted her to seize everything she held dear and hold on tight.She knew despite everything she did, she would never be able to hold on.Sakura had never felt so devastated.She had never felt so defeated.

"Is he that powerful?" she queried in a trembling voice.

Shaolin shrugged.

"Is he?" she asked demandingly as a solitary tear streaked down her face.

Shaolin pulled Sakura to him and held onto her tightly.He held her as tightly as he could.He was scared now.How did she know all this?Was I wrong to come here?Has Clow Reed already warned her?He said he has given her a source of power.She should be okay, but--but what if Dangyun does succeed?I am making her miserable.Why can't I ever learn from my mistakes?All I ever wanted to do was make her feel my love.All I ever wanted to do was make her incredibly happy.

Sakura pulled away from Shaolin.She was about to ask her question once more when he pressed his finger to her lips."He is Clow Reed's rival."

She gazed at him still, expectantly.He continued, "ever since we were children Clow, me, and Dangyun were friends.I had early ability, but that was all I ever had.I have very little magical abilities.I had the potential, but I could never tap into the source like Clow or Dangyun.They were both stronger than their mentors.They finished learning from their teachers when they were very young, and settled that they would keep themselves up to a high level of magic.The only teachers they had left were themselves.So Dangyun went away to develop his powers and promised to meet Clow Reed a year later to test what they had discover during the time period.But when Dangyun came back, he was different.He was more intense.He had learnt more powerful magic, but even then Clow Reed was unstoppable.

"My oni-chan, Clow Reed knew that this day was coming.He knew, and I won't ever know how much it hurt him that his best friend turned evil.Clow Reed defeated Dangyun, but that only made things worse.Instead of giving up, Dangyun vowed he'd come back even stronger, and that they'd meet again in a year.It happened.Every year since the first, they've fought a magical battle.While Clow Reed did want to combine both Eastern and Western magics with the Clow Cards, he also needed them to aid him in his battle against Dangyun, so he wouldn't use up too much of his strength against a meaningless battle.My oni-chan was always stronger than Dangyun.So Dangyun continued to lose each and every year.But one year was different.Dangyun didn't proclaim that he'd eventually defeat Clow, he said simply, 'you'll see what I do next.'That's when Faa said some strange things were going on around her home.

"I knew that it had to be Dangyun, but Clow Reed would not let me go ahead with my conclusions.He just didn't think that Dangyun, his best friend was that dishonorable, despite the fact that Dangyun had cheated in the battles for the last 5 years!I won't blame him for Faa's death.It wasn't anyone's fault, but my own.I promised to protect her and I failed her.It's my fault, do you understand everything?"

Sakura had tears in her eyes, and the force that was in her had fled."You are here to protect me, aren't you?"

"Yes."

Sakura started weeping and sobbed, "I know that I'm not really Faa… but I know if she was here she'd say that it's not your fault, Shaolin."

Shaolin had to hold Sakura near him, next to him tightly.He held her close to his heart, and he wanted nothing more than to never move away from her again.

He just wanted to hold her.

He wanted to hold her forever.

He wanted to be with her forever.

He wanted to whisper, 'I love you' over and over into her ear.

He heard footsteps just then.A sharp, familiar voice sharply asked, "who the hell are you?Let go of Sakura!"

It's my voice, Shaolin thought.He's me.

**Author's Note**: I'm getting some readers at least.I really am excited about this series, but if no one's reading it I'll drop it because I'm working on a really really long Neon Genesis Evangelion fic that has a pretty big readership.(i.e. I've gotten about 40 different reviewers or more, I never counted them hehe).Well I hope you like this!It was about 500 words longer than I expected, which isn't a bad thing ^_^.

**Remember**: Reviewing is Doing the Giving to Caring authors Slaving over Working on Writing fanfics!


	3. Clash from the Past

Title:**Reminiscent (3)**

Author:Yih

Written:March 1, 2001

Dedication:To the following Reviewers- Baby Wolf, OneWeirdMOnkey!, Kitty0san, rynne (twice), Grace, Silver, obiwankatie, Blue Angel, caffeine koala, rakko-chan, and Azn Pnay!

**I only know you like it if you review!**

Disclaimer:All rights belong to Clamp except ACC- Shaolin, Faa, and Dangyun.

******** I WON'T BE UPDATING UNTIL I GET 10+ REVIEWS FOR CHAPTER 3 B/C GETTING 200+ HITS PER CHAPTER AND ONLY 1 REVIEW IS PITIFUL***********

"Who are you?" demanded Syaoran in a sharp voice.

Shaolin ignored Syaoran and pressed a sweet kiss onto Sakura's forehead before letting her go.He turned to Syaoran, saying simply, "I'm what you were, and you are what I am.Do you understand what I've just told you?I'm what you have been, and you are what I will be."

Syaoran ignored Shaolin and asked Sakura instead, "who is he?Is the mirror card trying to play a joke on us?I'm sure it's the mirror card.I mean who else could pull this kind of joke?But how does this clone have my personality?I didn't think they could do that.Now that… is a new thing to try."

Sakura turned from Shaolin, but she reached for his hand to hold on to."It's no joke, Syaoran," she murmured in a voice that was still trembling from what she had heard about Shaolin's sad tale.She had never thought that one so young could have been through so young._He's not much older than I am_, Sakura thought._And he's been through so much.I can't imagine how it would be like to lose Syaoran that early when--when we're just discovering our love for each other.How painful it must be to be separated like that forever._

Syaoran now saw the tears that glistened on her beautiful face.He wanted to know what had happen._If that--that imposter has hurt her, I don't care if he was me!I'm going to kill him for hurting my Sakura.No one can hurt my Sakura without getting past me first!And if this isn't a joke, what could it be?Who is this guy who looks exactly like me?Who wears my fighting robes in a red color?Who is he?But I must not show my concerns.Sakura trusts him already, and she has good judgment in people.I must be comforting to Sakura, _he decided when he felt her shaking off the last of her sobs.__

"Then what?" Syaoran asked gently, holding his arms out for Sakura.

Syaoran saw the hesitation in Sakura before she ran into his arms.He saw the reassuring squeeze she gave to the boy that looked exactly like him.He felt a sharp pang that he couldn't identify go down his spine.She said in a shaky voice, "he's what you were in your other life.He's come to protect me here, like you've protected me when I was capturing the Clow Cards.He wants to help me, Syaoran.Because--because…"

"Because Dangyun killed my Faa, who is now reincarnated in Sakura," his eyes were filled with sadness as he finished saying what Sakura couldn't finish.

"I don't see why you have to be here," Syaoran stated."I can protect Sakura just fine.I've been there for her since the very beginning, and whether you are me or was me, I can still do just fine without you!Besides, we've been through enemies before and survived.What makes you think that we can't do it this time?Do you doubt Sakura's abilities?"

Shaolin shook his head."No, no.I don't doubt Sakura's magical abilities.She's probably much stronger than I am.But then again, my real source of power lies in my fighting skills, not the magical ones.I lost Faa to Dangyun; I'm not going to lose her reincarnation to him.No matter what, even if I have to die, I'll make sure that my future will be intact with his destruction."He paused when he heard the sound of footsteps."Who is it?"

"Tomoyo-chan!" cried out Sakura.

Tomoyo glanced at Sakura with a smile, but when she saw the remainder of the tears she inquired, "what's wrong Sakura?Why have you been crying?"

Sakura was about to respond when Tomoyo caught the startling revelation that Syaoran had somehow doubled himself."Whose the Syaoran in red?"

"I'm Syaoran's past life," Shaolin answered simply."My name is Shaolin."

"What's going on?" Tomoyo asked with keen perception.

"Dangyun."

"DANGYUN?!" cried out Kero as he fell from Tomoyo's backpack."How did Dangyun get here?And what are you doing here little master?What's all this talk about Dangyun?Is he here because you're here?Then where's Clow Reed?Is Clow Reed here?Geez, wait until Yue gets a whiff of this, he'll be over in a flash?Where's Faa?She must be around if you're here!Someone answer me!"

Shaolin smiled sadly."Faa's gone."

"Faa's gone?" Kero repeated with a question.

"She's dead," Shaolin stated.

Kero felt some tears form in his eyes.He still remembered Faa quite well, even after the many years.She was the one that had introduced him to the delights of human food.He couldn't believe she was gone.But if she was gone, he knew that Shaolin must be in even more pain.He had an idea who might have killed her but he asked for confirmation anyway, "who did it?"

"Dangyun."

"It still doesn't explain why you're here though, little master," Kero said.

Shaolin gazed intently at Sakura."I'm here to protect Sakura.You did know that she was Faa's reincarnation, didn't you?"

"Err…" Kero muttered.He looked over at Sakura, scratching his head he finally said, "I did think she looked an awfully lot like Faa, but many souls aren't reincarnated, how was I suppose to know that Faa was one of them?But I see your point, Sakura is strikingly like Faa in appearance and personality."

Shaolin nodded."And Dangyun is here to kill her because she is Faa's reincarnation.I'm here to make sure he doesn't kill Sakura and ruin my future self's life with her.And Clow Reed is not here.He didn't even want me to come here.He told me it was unnatural.And I agree with him.The force driving me into this timeline was incredible and the experience, different.But it isn't normal for humans to go travel through time.I felt my body being pulled into pieces, the world was trying to destroy me because I wasn't suppose to living through the passing time."

Kero nodded."So many reincarnations of what was is in this period of time.It's not only you that has been reincarnated or Faa.Clow Reed has been too."

"He has?" queried Shaolin incredulously.

"But with lesser powers.Clow Reed had his powers split between two sources.Is Dangyun even more powerful now?"

"Yes," Shaolin said tiredly."My onii-chan almost lost to him in the last battle, but he held on because of the Clow Cards."

"But Sakura should be alright," Tomoyo interrupted the conversation between Shaolin and Kero, "because she has transferred them to the Sakura Cards, and they are even more powerful than the Clow Cards."

"I really don't know.Clow Reed had more than the Clow Cards helping him.He has been studying magic since he was born.He was the most powerful magician of his time, and if Dangyun is his rival, even now I don't know…" Shaolin's voice trailed off.

Syaoran felt a surge of jealousy in his veins.Normally, he was the one they relied on.But now they were talking to Shaolin like he knew everything about everything.And he was jeaous, he admitted to himself.He tightened his hold on Sakura.He felt her shudder as she got rid of the last of her tears and sadness._She has been through so much, _Syaoran thought, _the Clow Cards taught her to much about what she has to be.She's probably the most powerful magical force right now.And and my leaving her a few years ago didn't help her.I'm so sorry Sakura, _he stroked her lovingly, _I love you so much.I'd do everything that I possible could that would make you happy and your life perfect.I'd sacrifice everything… just for you._

Sakura suddenly felt overwhelmingly tired.She didn't know what had happened that she had known instinctively what to ask Shaolin to give her the answers, but whatever it was, it had seemed to drain her energy.She leaned heavily against Syaoran and her eyes began to droop.She was exhausted._I should be strong right now, _she thought with a sense of failure._But I feel defeated.Everything is different.I have to rest now.When I wake up, everything will be fine.I'll live through this living nightmare.I'll be strong enough to defeat Dangyuna and let this--this--this restless spirit--Faa… It's Faa inside of me!_

_ _

_That's how I knew everything.That's how I knew what to ask when.It's Faa inside of me. It must be here.Who else can know all that she knows besides Shaolin?Oh, how tired she must be.She must have used whatever strength she had to get in touch with me.She must be here to help me and Syaoran.She doesn't want what happens to Shaolin and her… to happen to Syaoran and me.I don't want that to happen either.I understand that now.Faa!I understand that Syaoran and I are meant to be like Shaolin and you._

_ _

_I won't be defeated by Dangyun.I'll try my best to see whatever plans he has for me--that they don't come true!I promise both of us that much!_

_ _

Sakura felt like she was being lifted by a beautiful breeze.It felt wonderful.She wasn't afraid of it, even though it was a strange feeling.She wondered of the people around her felt the magical essense of the wind.It felt peaceful and comforting.Was Faa here?Could it be her?

_Sakura… _The wind whispered her name delicately._Sakura… it won't be easy, this journey that you need to travel._

Sakura felt a gentle touch of air on her hand, trying to make a connection.It seemed like it was trying to convey strength to her.

# Sakura… love both of them because--because I'm no longer there…

**Author's Note:**I'd really appreciate it if you review it if you'd like me to continue writing this.I really don't know if this is better than An Endless Affair.I really should start working on the next sequel to An Endless Affair, but I find this series has taken on a mind of its own saying: WRITE ME!My personal feelings is that this is the better fanfic because it's more well-written and more thought out.I am still deliberating how I am going to incorporate the other characters, but this story certainly won't be only about the S+S(+S) relationship.I'm really sorry that this part was shorter, but I can't write anymore without going into the next part…

**Remember**: Reviewing _is_ Doing _the_ Giving _to_ Caring _authors_ Slaving _over_ Working _on_ Writing _fanfics_!


	4. Unexpected Arrival

Title:**Reminiscent (4)**

Author:Yih

Written:March 2001

Dediation:To the following Reviewers- ~SuNnY GuRl~, Silver Nyanko, SAKURAnTOKYO, Ella, Angelus Hotaru, GoddessSakura, Kayle, ~*Manda-chan*~, Lullaby, anonymous, and Azn Princess.

**I only know you like it when you review!_! **

** **

(you barely made 10+ reviews and same rule applies to this chapter, I won't release anymore 'til I hit 10+ reviews~ it's just an excuse cuz I'm working on 4 series at once… but it may coerce me… it did this time ^_^)

Disclaimer:All rights belong to Clamp except ACC- Shaolin, Faa, and Dangyun.

"No!" Sakura felt herself, but not herself scream as she saw a tall, dark man with cold, deadly eyes approaching her fallen body.

_ _

_She knew without a doubt that it was Dangyun.And she was somehow in Faa's body._

_ _

_He heard him say, "Faa, you know you must die, don't you?"_

_ _

_She felt Faa's incredible strength of will to stand up, to try and escape the inevitable conclusion.Sakura knew this was the ordeal that her past self had gone through before she had been killed by this awful man.She felt the hands that had been her own clawing at the grass, at the dirt, at the rocks… to try and inch herself further and further away from death._

_ _

_"It's too late," he said grimly."You fell in love with him; you knew you should have never loved him.Fortune had told you it would be your undoing.You were suppose to love me.I would have never become this--this way… if not for your folly!But you turned me against them.You have no one to blame but yourself for the terrible way you will die.And you know that, don't you my precious flower?"_

_ _

_He grabbed Faa by her beautiful, silky hair and lifted her face up to his."If you say you don't love him; if you vow that you will love me, I will spare your life," he offered._

_ _

_"Never…" murmured an already weakened Faa."I never loved you--I never will.I hate you!"_

_ _

_Dangyun raised his other hand to hit her, but he did not strike her as she thought he would.The look in his eyes were suddenly not so cold, but softening with an emotion of regret.Then the expression hardened the weak emotion he had shown with a chilling degree of iciness.He said slowly, "you have made the biggest mistake of your life, Faa.From now on the face that I see on your face will bring me only me disgust.Any girl with a similar appearance, I will destroy as I will destroy you.Let your lover think I hate his brother and think that I'm doing this only for that.But you know differently, don't you?It is your curse.Do you understand all that I have told you?" _

_ _

_Sakura could barely make out the words that were forming from Faa's mouth.She felt the word"yes" spoken, but the explanation was lost as the spirit of Faa whispered:_

# Wake up Sakura…

"Sakura?" asked a hoarse male voice gently as he stroked her soft cheeks."Come on, Sakura, wake up."

She opened her eyes, recognizing the face at once… Syaoran.

But it wasn't him that she wanted right now.The name she whispered was another's, "Shaolin?"

Shaolin turned around immediately, the tingle going down his spine when he heard her speak his name was a distinct pleasure.He had felt that it was best that he leave her to the one who would be with her in this lifetime… Syaoran.But he was keenly glad that she had said his name first.He should have felt bad because he had already loved and lost his chance, but now he was granted another chance… with another Faa.He knew that Syaoran's eyes were blazing with jealousy.He would be feeling exactly the same way if he were in that boy's position.And he knew the moment he had laid eyes on this reincarnation of him, he saw himself a year or two younger.It stunned him that he would be exactly the same.

Syaoran felt like someone had punched him in the gut when he heard Sakura say Shaolin's name._Why did she say his name?Shouldn't it be me that she would be calling after she woke up?Why did she faint like that?I am worried about her… she doesn't seem wholly Sakura… could it be that her past self is somehow in her?Would that explain why she called Shaolin's name first--and not mine?Or am I deluding myself so there would be some reasonable explanation why she didn't call my name first?Why am I thinking this?Why am I jealous?He said he was me, and I am him now… But he was me, but he shouldn't be here… but he is--so he is not me.If I keep thinking like this… it will drive me crazy._

"Sakura?" Shaolin murmured her name, moving instinctively to his side.

He noticed that Syaoran didn't try to keep his spot next to the side of her bed when he had moved into the spot.He thought perhaps that Syaoran was probably too stunned and wallowing up in jealousy to do much protesting, instead deciding to think over what had just happened and set his course of action.He wanted to reassure the boy that he would not be staying here with Sakura.But he wasn't so sure of the answer himself.__

"What happened?What's going on?Why am I in my bed?What happened?" she asked, gazing at Shaolin.

"You fainted a while back.So we decided that you'd better be brought home.Luckily, Tomoyo-chan had a set of the house keys to let us in your house.You'd better get cleaned up, love.Your onii-chan and Yue should be arriving any moment.They were called by Tomoyo."He smiled warmly."I don't think I've ever seen Yue ask so many questions.And Tomoyo and Kero are both downstairs fixing up some delicious treats for you to stuff yourself silly with."

"Hoe!!!" exclaimed Sakura.

"Shaolin is right, Sakura.You should get cleaned up," agreed Syaoran a little gruffly."I'll go downstairs to make sure that Kero isn't getting his paws into the food."

Sakura's eyes widen with surprised at the tone of Syaoran's voice as her questioning eyes met Shaolin's understanding eyes.

"I think Syaoran is a little jealous of me," he explained after Syaoran left.He saw the denial in her eyes and simply said, "I'm going to go downstairs to help them, are you sure you're going to be okay?You are paler than you were before."

She noded and replied, "I'll be okay."

Shaolin smiled.He saw the strength of Faa's courage in her reincarnation.He leaned up toward Sakura and planted a sweet kiss on her nose.

"Hurry up or there might not be any food left once Kero gets to it…" he warned her with a laugh.

Sakura knew she should have felt drained, but she wasn't.She hurriedly washed her face and tried to make herself look a little more presentable.Then she rushed down the stairs only to hear the doorbell rang.She saw that the Kero and Syaoran were busy arguing with each other as Tomoyo and Shaolin took turns trying to cool off their hot tempers.

She decided that she would have to be the one to open the door.Since she was expecting her onii-chan, she threw opened the door and said, "come in, we've got snacks being made in the kitchen, onii-chan and Yukito-chan!"

"Sakura…" said a voice that was not her onii-chan's, but the voice did ring a bell.

She whirled around to find herself confronted by a beautiful man with dark, piercing blue eyes behind his usual set of glasses.She saw the instant concern in his knowing eyes.She was surprised to see him, pleasantly surprised.

"Eriol-chan!" she cried out her greeting.

He bowed."Good afternoon, Sakura.I'm glad you haven't forgotten me."

"How could I forget you?You helped me so much!" said Sakura with infectious friendliness.

His smile was oddly alarming.

I wonder what's wrong with Eriol.He doesn't seem like himself.It could just be that he is fatigued with the plane trip.I wonder why he's here.I mean flying from England to Japan is not what you call a normal 'trip to see a friend'.There must be some purpose for why he is here.Could he know that Dangyun is here?Didn't Shaolin say that Dangyun was Clow Reed's archrival?

"I only helped you do something that would have been done eventually," Eriol replied with much modesty.

"Why are you here, Eriol?" she asked. 

"Who are you?" asked Touya sharply, jumping off his motorcycle with Yukito right behind him.

"I'm Eriol," Eriol responded cordially to Touya's question.He was about to reply back to Sakura's question, but he saw that Sakura was no longer paying attention to him.

Sakura was focused on the dramatic scene where Yukito was transforming into Yue as he walked up to her.She always considered it one of the most awe-aspiring things she had ever seen.She considered that it was because Yue had an almost ethereal grace when he was in that form.But Yukito, she blushed as she thought of her long time crush, was the gentlest person she had ever known.But Yue, she thought with a smile on her lips, was an awesome fighter.Both of them have always tried to protect me.

"Clow Reed!" cried out Yue.

Eriol turned to looked at Yue."You haven't forgotten have you?I am only half of Clow Reed; I am Eriol."

"Eriol!What are you doing here?" asked Syaoran sharply as he came to investigate why so much noise was being generated from the doorway.

Eriol sighed.

"Eriol?" asked Sakura softly.

He stared into Sakura's beautiful eyes.She is so much like Faa…

Then he saw Shaolin coming nearer.So I was right… 

"I am here because I felt the presense of a strong magical power--Dangyun.He is nearby, isn't he?"

Shaolin answered, "I know he has traveled to this time, but I don't know if he is near here."

"He is near here," Eriol affirmed."I sensed a strong contamination from the normal aura.Could you two not feel it?"

Syaoran flushed a bright red.He had been too overcomed by his emotions to try to sense the strong presense of magic.But now that Eriol had pointed it out, he nodded that he felt the sensation of a dark power.It was undoubtedly Dangyun.

Sakura's eyes widened with surprise.She truthfully knew she had not felt anything strange.She closed her eyes briefly to see if she could feel the contamination that Eriol felt, and she did!She was so overcome by the magical presense she swayed a bit and felt herself steadied by the Yue.She smiled her thanks.

"What are you guys doing over there?Tomoyo-chan's done baking her delicious chocolate cake," exclaimed Kero enthusiastically as he flew into the room to tell the group the news.

"Sakura, are you okay?" asked Touya with concern.

She nodded at her onii-chan."I'm okay."

Eriol saw the grim determination set of her beautiful eyes.She is so much like Faa… hopefully she will succeed where Faa failed.

And he saw the looks Shaolin aimed at Sakura.And so I was right… I was not to be her greatest challenge.

**Author's Note:**I will not continue this unusual fanfic until I get some reviews.Okay, here's the reason I wrote this fanfic: I saw a past life fic, but it horrible written (bad grammar, did not flow, no real depth) and I decided I wanted to write a fanfic that used a past life principle with an even greater twist and to incorporate all the core characters (with the possible exception of Meilin—I have not decided on her yet…).So have I succeeded?My personal opinion this is far superior in depth of writing that 'An Endless Affair' because the plot is more complicated, ne?

P.S. A good review tells what a reader likes and why.

**Remember**: Reviewing is Doing the Giving to Caring authors Slaving over Working on Writing fanfics!


	5. Testing Time

Title:**Reminiscent (5)**

Author:Yih

Written:March 2001

Dedication:To the following Reviewers- teenybopper27, yohko, Mana-chan, ~*Manda-chan*~, peaches, OneWeirdMoNkEy~, Silver, aurora manda, bmaster, Mistogirl/Thundercat, jupiters^angel, Karen, Windy Heart, ~SuNny gUrL, Empress Sarah-sama (you read AEA!!!), obi_wan_katie (did you read AEA?),Jana (thanks for the commentary!), Lullaby, vmr, SaoLao, & Azn Pnay.

**Wow!Thanks!Please review again!10+ reviews for next chapter please!**

Disclaimer:All rights are Clamp except ACC- Dangyun, Shaolin, and Faa.

"Eriol, do you know something about Dangyun that you can tell us?" queried Syaoran intently.

Eriol nodded his dark head."I know the way he will attempt to fight Sakura with."

"The traditional way?" Shaolin inquired with a questioning voice.

"Yes, the traditional way."

"That might be very difficult for her--"

Shaolin was cut off when Sakura waved her hand between Eriol and Shaolin.She didn't like the way they were staring at each other; it disturbed her."You know I'm right here, you can talk to me!What is with this traditional way of fighting?Is it like the test I had with Yue?Just more complicated, right?"

"No," answered Eriol, shaking his head."It is nothing like the test with Yue.It is even stricter.Obeying the rules are key, although Dangyun has never really played by the rules.He bends them as far as he can, and that will make things even more difficult for you.Because you must play fair."

"Why?" asked Tomoyo, curiously.

"Because she is good and he is not," Eriol replied simply, trying to hide the worry in his voice.

_ _

_When she meets Dangyun, _he thought to himself, _she will know him because she did feel something for him at one time, it might have even been love.Not the true deep love she felt--feels for Shaolin, Syaoran.But she will be attracted to him… she has always been fascinated by him.I think it's because she wants to change the world; she is so idealistic and naïve.But what worries me is that she'll do anything to protect those who she loves, she won't want to lose.I know the price he will ask.It will be the one she loves.And if she wins, I don't think he has even thought of that.Because it will hard for her to win fairly and if she doesn't win fairly she's his…_

_ _

"Eriol-chan?What is the traditional way?Please tell me," she pleaded with heart melting eyes.

"The rules will be stated.And it will be agreed to.Then the fighting will start.You both--" 

"What rules?Can you tell me about them?" Sakura asked, cutting Eriol off.

"There are no set rules, actually."_There should be, though,_ he thought to himself.__"Dangyun will probably make the rules, and if you don't agree… well he won't even have to play within some boundary of rules he makes.While this isn't good, the other alternative is not any better either.You'd have our help of course, but he wouldn't try to destroy us but the innocent people around us.So we will just have to wait and see what rules he sets."

"You said he bends these rules?" 

Eriol glanced at Syaoran."Yes, he bends the rules to his advantage.But he does so without breaking them totally.Sakura cannot even do that much because as I have already said, she is good and he is not."_And if she does break them… she's his, _he shuddered as he thought about it.

"Eriol-chan, are you okay?" Sakura questioned with concern in her friendly eyes.

He smiled warmly and nodded.

_ _

"How does he break them?" asked Syaoran, pressing Eriol for answers.

"He will try to use coercion, but he will deny it of course," responded Shaolin for Eriol.He met Eriol's astonished look with a shrug."My onii-chan thought I was stupid enough to stay in the background as he fought what may have been his last fight.I was always there in the background in case he needed me.I didn't doubt his abilities, but I knew that Dangyun never plays fair fair's game.It's easy enough for him to use the dark powers to destroy Clow Reed because my onii-chan always plays by the rules.Of course, Dangyun would have his consequences as well.I didn't really know how deep his hatred for my onii-chan went.But it didn't go that far, it seems…"

_So you never knew the real reason for Faa's death, did you Shaolin?_Eriol thought with slight bitterness.

"Will Sakura be allowed to have defenders?" inquired Shaolin suddenly.

"I don't know," answered Eriol honestly.

"What are defenders?" Touya questioned.

"They are the people that she can choose to help her fight her battle," Yue replied with an almost eager expression on his face."Usually only two are permitted."

"And of course, Sakura would choose Yue and me," piped in Kero, his face a bit smuggy with Tomoyo's chocolate cake.

"I think Dangyun may allow 2 to 3 defenders, and she should choose her guardians.She has worked well with them in the past and has experience with them," added Eriol, thought furrowing his forehead.

"I will be the third defender, if there is one," exclaimed Syaoran.His eyes were strangely lit with an intense fire.He squeezed Sakura's hand comfortingly as he said this.He would protect her from anything to his death.

Eriol shook his head."No, you cannot be a defender."

"Why not?" cried out Sakura.

"Because I'm pretty sure that he will make a rule that says the prize cannot fight."

"The prize?" queried Touya, Tomoyo, and Syaoran at the same time.

"There may be multiple prizes for the winner or consequences for the loser," explained Eriol."I'm sure that he will name Syaoran or Shaolin as one if not both of them.Touya, as her onii-chan you may also be named.I don't know if he knows Tomoyo is Sakura's best friend if not she may be named as well.It would be best that Touya and Tomoyo not show up that day."

"WHAT?!!" yelled Touya and Tomoyo in unison.

"If Sakura loses, there is a penalty of death for those he selects as his prize.And I'm sure she wouldn't want that to happen to you," Eriol stated earnestly.

Sakura nodded, agreeing what Eriol said."Maybe he's right…" her voice trailing off.

"I don't care what happens.I'm your onii-chan, Sakura.I'll be there to help you if you need me," Touya said simply, strangely not picking on her.

"And so will I!" chimed in Tomoyo."After all, what are best friends for?"

Sakura's eyes filled with tears."I don't want either of you to get hurt for me."

Tomoyo shrugged. "It's not like that I would want to miss the excellent filming opportunities!"

Shaolin had a confused look and Sakura leaned toward him, whispering, "don't worry.I'll explain what that is later, okay?"

Shaolin smiled back gratefully.Sakura thought that Shaolin had handled the great timeline difference with remarkable ease.She knew if she was somehow sent to the future she'd be so confused, asking numerous questions.But Shaolin had picked up very quickly.The only think that seemed to faze him a bit was the T.V. because he had never seen anything like that in his time.The music coming from 'the box' as he said it, didn't appear that unusual when he found it could still play some tradition music without words.

Syaoran clenched his fist.He tried to stop the surge of jealousy he felt flowing in his veins.He hated feeling this way because he was sure that Sakura would stay faithful to him._Didn't she stay loyal to me even though I went away to Hong Kong all those years ago?What does that say after that many years?She loves me.I'm sure that hasn't changed, but could she love him more?_

"I can't wait to start making you ravishing new outfits!You've got such a great figure that I'll be able to make even greater outfits than before!" declared Tomoyo with an enthusiastic smile.

Sakura, Kero, Syaoran, Yue, and Eriol all sweatdropped when they heard Tomoyo's announcement.

"Anyway," Eriol continued, breaking the horror filled pause. "I'm sure he'll ask for a battle between the elementals."

"Like between Watery, Firey, Earthy, and Windy?But that doesn't seem so hard," Sakura said with a frown."All I would have to do is let him make the first move and use a counter card against whatever elemental he chooses."

"It's not that simple," responded Shaolin gravely.

"No, it's not.An elemental battle is a battle between the same elements.I'm sure that he'll want to battle all four of the elementals.Not only can he tests your strengths, but he can also know what you weaknesses are.Dangyun was always very clever.While each elementals have their strengths and weaknesses, since it's battling against it's own kind, that's not important.What is important is the strength of the master or mistress--you, Sakura.I'm sure that Dangyun will win with Watery and Earthy.Windy and Firey are probably your best bets for a tie--"

"Why is that?" inquired Syaoran."I understand about Windy because she's one of Sakura's allies, and one of her strongest cards, but why Firey?The card is difficult to handle and dangerous.Sakura has only handled it successfully one time…"

"But," replied Eriol, "it is also Kero's strongest ally.If he does indeed allow two defenders or even one, Kero should be priority because of the help he can lend her in an elemental battle.While Sakura might not be able to control Firey well enough, Kero should.And with both of them focusing their power, it works out very well.While Watery is an ally of the moon, opposite of Kero, Yue would not be a big help unless Dangyun calls a battle of sides.The battle of sides is like a small version of the battle between light and dark.Light is not an original ally, but it is definitely one of your strongest cards because it is so close to your heart--a heart that is as pure as can be."

Sakura blushed prettily as his gaze rested upon her.

You must call upon all your strength of mind, Sakura of the Star power because Dangyun won't merely test you, he could destroy you if you aren't prepared…

But I am here to help you.And I--I wish that I could…, but I can't.

** **

**Author's Note:** I'm glad I have readers.If you guys keep reviewing I may keep this as a weekly, wouldn't that make you guys happy?Please comment on which parts you like best because it only makes me better!Thanks for reading and reviewing!Arigato!

**Remember**: Reviewing is Doing the Giving to Caring authors Slaving over Working on Writing fanfics!


	6. Strange Happenings

Title:**Reminisicent (6)**

Author:Yih

Written:April 2001

Dedication:To the following Reviewers- Lazuli, Kalei, OneWeirdMoNkEy!, SAKURAnTOKYO, Fairy Empress, Lumi-chan, Maire, Sakura1301, ~*Manda-chan*~, Silver, Jana, Tomoyo-chan, obiwankatie, Lullaby, and Empress Sarah-sama!

**Please review.15+ reviews before next part @ least! REVIEW!!!**

Disclaimer:All rights are Clamp except ACC- Shaolin, Dangyun, and Faa.

"Excuse me?" asked a young gentleman."Someone told me that you would know where I could find Nadeshiko."

The middle-aged man paused at the name of his beloved.It took him several moments to recover from his surprise before he was able to answer the inquirer, "don't you know?Haven't you heard?"

"Heard what?" queried the young man kindly.

"She's--my wife, Nadesico has past away several years ago," he said hoarsely.

Their was visible shock written all over the other man's face."I didn't know," he murmured."I'm so sorry.I just knew that she had moved to this area for high school… I was a friend of hers, one of her closest friends when we were little.I still remember her sweet smile."

"Yes, her smile was sweet and beautiful.May I ask your name?"

"My name is--is Tooya," he answered.

"Why that's the name of my son!I'm Kinomoto Fujitaka, it's a pleasure to meet a close friend of my beloved wife," he responded.

"The pleasure is all mine," Tooya said, bowing.

"I'm going to lunch, would you like to join me?" Fujitaka offered.

"Could we go to a sushi bar?" he asked."I haven't been to one of those in ages…"

"Of course, I know a good one nearby."

"Sakura?This is for you," Tomoyo said, passing the chiming cellular phone to her best friend.

"Arigato, Tomoyo-chan!" Sakura exclaimed as she reached for the phone."Ohayo?"

"Moshi moshi!"

"Otousan!?!"

"Sakura, I have a close friend of your okaasan coming over for dinner…"

"No problem!"

"But I won't be there," Fujitaka continued where Sakura had interrupted him."So can you greet him and perhaps have dinner for him?I'm sorry to tell you this at such short notice but the University has just called in a major meeting to discuss the guidelines and schedule so I won't be able to cook your favorite meal.I might not even get home in time for dinner.I'll probably be working all night."

"Don't worry, otousan!I can do it!You know me, I don't mind doing this!I even get to meet a friend of okaasan!"

"Arigato, I have to go now.His name is Tooya, by the way."

"That's the same as onii-chan!"she exclaimed.

"Yes, I think okaa-san named Touya after Tooya.They must have been really great friends—"

"Otousan?" queried Sakura into the static."That's strange," she muttered."My phone never has static!"

"That is strange," Tomoyo agreed."That is the best phone you can get in Japan!I should know because I got it for you."

"What is static?" inquired Shaolin with a confused face.

Kero patted Shaolin on the cheek."It's okay, little master.I was like that for a while, wondering, I mean."

"You weren't like that at all!" Sakura cried out.

"Well, as the guardian of the Clow Book, I couldn't very well tell you I didn't know about all those things you first spoke to me, could I?" Kero stated the question."It's not like it was so complicated.I've been hearing about the world through the magical bindings of the Clow Book, it just took me some time to figure out what object went with what name.After that, it was all a breeze.The food here is even better, too!"

"Kero is always one to think with his stomach," Shaolin said fondly."I remember when Faa first gave him his first bite of food.She gave him a piece of some sort of sweet thing.He was always asking questions of what food tasted like so she just popped one into his mouth while he was asking the question.The next thing Kero knew, he was eating!Then he just had the taste of food, and he nearly ate us out of house and home!"

"I don't eat that much!" Kero said indignantly.

"No, but you can eat a stack of pancakes with a heap of syrup!" Sakura exclaimed, her eyes shining."I wish I could meet Faa," her voice quieting with yearning.

Syaoran watched as Shaolin reached up to caress Sakura's cheek.He felt the jealousy surge with a ferocity when Shaolin murmured, "you don't need to meet Faa to know her.You are her--in every way.I've never met anyone as sweet or as beautiful as Faa, and you are her equal.You are Faa, love."

Eriol heard the incredible tenderness in Shaolin's voice and felt the intensity of Syaoran's envious gaze.His past self had made a big mistake by allowing Shaolin to come to the future._But I suppose I had no other alternative back then.I couldn't very well not let Shaolin go, especially since--especially since it I was…I still warned him that when the time comes he will have to give up her again.That will be even harder than the first time because it will be by his choice and not by the hand of fate.Will he be able to leave her a second time?Or will he stay and possibly mess up any future lives that they may have where they are utterly at peace to have their undeniable love?_

_ _

"Eriol?" whispered Tomoyo softly."Are you okay?"

He glanced at Tomoyo, a small smile surfacing."I'm okay.I'm just worried about Sakura."

"We all are," she gravely replied."There isn't anything I wouldn't do to protect her.She's my best friend."

_Yes, _he thought._She has always been your best friend too.Over the years, over the centuries, your friendship has always been a sustaining link.You two have always been together.You have been with Sakura as long as when Shaolin first came into the twining of fate.You two will always be best friends forever.Nothing will ever change that._

_ _

"HOE!!!" said Sakura loudly."It's almost four already!And I have a dinner to make for my okaasan's friend!"

"Well," reflected Touya aloud, "I'm definitely going to be here for this.I want to meet this friend of okaasan as well.What did you say his name was, kaiju?"

"I'm not a kaiju!" yelled Sakura, stomping on Touya's nearby foot."His name is Tooya, just like yours!I hope he isn't like you in personality though!"

"Owwwww!" yelped Touya."There's no reason to be childish!"

"Hmph--"  
  


"I think it would be best if we left," Eriol enunciated softly."This will be more of a family thing rather than a gathering that even her closest friends should be in.Besides, it's about time that I had some real Japanese food."

"I know a good new place that's close by in case we're needed over quickly!" Tomoyo added.

"That'll be great," Eriol said, throwing a grateful smile at Tomoyo."So who's coming?"

"I will," Yukito said eagerly, having transformed from his moon guardian form moments before.

"You two?" asked Tomoyo.

Shaolin glanced at Syaoran and saw the look of hatred."I'm coming, too."

"I guess I will, unless…"Syaoran trailed off, hoping beyond hope that Sakura would ask him to stay.

"It'll probably be boring," Sakura uttered."You should go."

"Alright," he said reluctantly."Promise me you'll call Tomoyo if anything happens okay?"

"Of course!" she exclaimed."What could possibly go wrong?Onii-chan is here!"

Touya glared at Syaoran, still not liking him all that much.Although he had to admit he did like Syaoran more than Shaolin, especially since the newer and older version of Syaoran was all over Sakura.He had to really try not to let his protectiveness show when Shaolin had reached for Sakura."Don't you think I can take care of Sakura?" he questioned, seriousness in his voice.

"We will leave her in your care," Eriol said, trying to smooth out the tense atmosphere."Are you coming Kero?"

Kero wiped his mouth off with a tissue."You don't think I'd miss eating out would you?Will you let me order whatever I want?"

Tomoyo giggled and reached down to grab Kero."I promise for him.You can order anything your heart desires!"

"Yeah!"

Sakura laughed, a sweet sound that filled the house with an unmistakable ringing joy.

"HOE!!!" exclaimed Sakura as she blew a piece of her hair from her face."I don't think I've ever cooked this much before!"

Touya glanced at the messy and disarray kitchen and muttered, "you've cook enough food for ten Keros!What were you thinking?And why do you have so many different dishes?For three people you only need a fourth as much!And the quantities you cooked is far too much!"

"I just didn't want to disappoint Tooya, onii-chan.I just want everything to be perfect for him.He knew my okaasan and that makes him so special," murmured Sakura with slightly misty eyes.

"I know," Touya agreed."I want to impress him as much as you, but still look at this mess!"

Sakura shrugged."I don't mind cleaning up.I made the mess after--"

The doorbell rang with one solitary chime.Sakura suddenly had an eager expression light up in her eyes.She glanced at Touya with silently begging eyes that would have said 'please.'

He shook his head with amusement."You can go get it, and I'll try to clean this mess up a little.But you owe me one, kaiju!"

Sakura was so delighted with his answer that she didn't even notice that he called her 'kaiju.'She ran to the door without blinking an eye.She took a deep breath when she reached the door and tried to calm her excited nerves down.She unlocked the door and opened it.She nearly gasped, she had never seen anyone as beautiful as this young man standing before her.

"Ohayo," greeted Tooya politely."May I come in…?"

"Yes!My--I'm Sakura," she said, stumbling over her introduction."My onii-chan is in the kitchen getting things prepared, his name is also Touya!"

"So I've heard.It's a pleasure to meet you.Do you know where Fujitaka-san is?" he inquired.

"Oh!My otousan couldn't be here because they had a meeting for the professors at the University.I hope that's not too big of a disappointment for you.My otousan told me you were coming and told me that I should prepare a dinner for you.He was really sorry to miss seeing you again!" Sakura said apologetically.

"There's no reason for me to be disappointed.It's not very often I can see Nadesico in person.You look exactly like your okaasan.You are a very beautiful young woman.It's a rare privilege for me to meet you."

"Hoe!" 

"Sakura does look like her okaasan," said Touya, entering the room carrying a small tray of food.

"You must be Touya!" responded Tooya warmly."Fujitaka-san has told me so much about how wonderful both of you are!You resemble both of your parents to a degree.You would have made your okaasan very proud."

"Arigato."

"Can you tell me about okaasan?" asked Sakura excitedly.

"Of course," he replied."Why else would I be here?"

"How did you meet her?"

"I met her when she was very young.She was actually older than I was if you can't tell that I'm younger than her…"

Sakura nodded.

"She was a few years older than I am.But I was her next door neighbor so we still got along very well.We were the only young children on the block.We met by accident, actually.My accident," he closed his eyes as if he was reminiscing."I fell down on my knees, and she saw me.She invited me into her house to take care of my knee.She was very adept and very caring.Then she went away, and life was never the same for me.You could say that I was in love with her even at such a young age."

"Okaasan was very lovable," Touya stated.

"It's was too bad that I never got to know her better…"

An eery pause filled the room before the crashing roar of thunder filled it.

"Looks like a storm is brewing," he commented."But I hope to get to know you, Sakura much better…"

**Author's Note:** See, I've kept it weekly, so please keep reviewing!I am getting a little hectic now, but if I've got the readers, I may just keep trying to get this out to you gusy!

**_Remember_**_:_ Reviewing _is_ Doing _the_ Giving _to_ Caring _authors_ Slaving _over_ Working _on_ Writing _fanfics_!


	7. Friendship Ties

Title: Reminiscent (7)

Title:  **Reminiscent (7)**

Author:  Yih

Written:  April 2001

Dedication:  To following Reviewers- Helen, Rhea, phoenix_angel_fire, SinButterfly, OneWeirdMoNkEy!, ~*blue-eyed angel*~, ~*~Cutie Blossom~*~, Sherry, James Birdsong, Anna, platinum man, Sakura1301, Akira, ~*~Sakura-chan~*~, SAKURAnTOKYO, ThatKidMinako, Lullaby, aurora manda, The_MANinTHe_BoX, angelwings2001, GoddessSakura, Empress Sarah, obiwankatie, Jana, Maire, Silver, and Fairy Empress

**20+ Reviews before I release again.**

Disclaimer:  All rights are exclusively Clamp except for ACC- Dangyun, Faa, and Shaolin.

"I feel so strange!" Tomoyo exclaimed.  "I'm the only girl here!"

"Hey!  Don't you remember that Syaoran was once a princess?" Kero reminded her.

"I forgot about that!" she cried out.  "I can't believe what great photos and tapes I got from that affair!  It was fabulous!"

"Princess?" asked Shaolin.  "Why was Syaoran a princess?  Shouldn't he be a prince?"

Syaoran grumbled and said nothing.

Tomoyo laughed.

Eriol averted his gaze elsewhere, trying to look like he knew nothing of what they were talking about.

"It's a long story," Yukito finally answered.  "We'll tell you about it when we get to the restaurant.  How far away is it?  I'm starving."

"Not too far," Tomoyo replied.

"You're always hungry," muttered Kero.

"You are so different from Yue," said Shaolin with amazement.  "I don't understand how you--you can transform into Yue!"

"Well, he can, so that's that.  Besides, Yue only did it so he could sneak underneath my awareness and to keep close to Sakura.  It worked too," Kero replied thoughtfully, rubbing his chin.

"But why?" Shaolin questioned.

"Because Clow Reed made Yue the tester to make sure that Sakura was the one.  But even then, Clow only did it so that Yue could go on.  You know how Yue was… he didn't want to be without Clow Reed if he didn't have a purpose.  So Clow Reed gave him a purpose, something for him.  Boy!  You should have seen the look on Yue's face when that purpose was taken away from him in the end," Kero blurt out.  "I don't even want to know how he felt inside.  He must have been pretty hurt.  I would be too, if Clow Reed had done that to me."

"Well, am I that different?" injected Yukito all of a sudden.  "I wouldn't know…"

"Trust me, you're different," Kero affirmed.  "You're much looser than Yue, and you sure like food better than he does.  He doesn't eat.  He doesn't do anything that isn't necessary, wouldn't you agree Yue?  I know you're in there watching me with those disdainful eyes of yours!  I can just imagine how--"

"Kero!" Tomoyo reprimand sharply.  "Be nice or no dessert for you!"

"Aww… you wouldn't do that would you?" 

"I'm paying, aren't I?" threatened Tomoyo, her sharp eyes focusing on the stuffed animal in her palm.

"Is she paying?" Kero asked the other fellows.

"I'll pay," Eriol offered benevolently.

"No, you're a guest!" Tomoyo exclaimed.  "I'll pay for this meal," she insisted.  "This dinner will be a dinner in your honor!"

"We can have one later," Eriol murmured.  "Someone's missing for that to be complete."

"Sakura…" Tomoyo whispered understandedly.  "Do you think that this will be a hard battle?  I'm worried that I won't be able to whip out the costumes as fast as I did before.  I used up so many good ideas back in those days!  I sure don't want to redo anything I did before!  That would be a fashion disaster.  I'll get to the drawing boards as soon as I get home and pour through my magazines!  I'm sure I can find enough original ideas to make Sakura looked absolutely gorgeous as she fights!  You did say this was elemental battle?  That will be the theme then…"

"Tomoyo, be serious!"  Eriol interrupted her.  "Sakura may be the strongest magician in this time period, but she's never tackled anyone like Dangyun before.  Not only is he dangerous, he's undeniably gifted in his alignment.  He poses a threat not only physically but mentally.  This will be the hardest battle she will ever face, much harder than I was."

"I can't help but want Sakura to look ravishing when she fights!" cried out Tomoyo.  "I suppose for a fire…"

"Tomoyo!"

"He's right," Shaolin added.  "Even my onii-chan had problems with fighting off the ritual challenges that Dangyun issued whenever he thought his newest spell, creation, or skill could possibly defeat Clow Reed and make him the unprecedented power in the magical world.  He's a tough person to beat in anything.  He's pretty much an all-round magician."

"Eriol," barked Syaoran.

"What?" 

"Eriol--I'd like to be the third defender."

"You can't," replied Eriol.  "I'm sure that Dangyun will pick you and Shaolin as the prize--price."

"He doesn't know about me," Syaoran said logically.  "He only knows that Shaolin is here.  What if Sakura hadn't met me yet?"

"True… but I'd be more of a help to her than you," Eriol stated.  "Even at half my previous strength I'm more than a match for you.  And I'm sure that Dangyun knows you're here.  You forget he isn't a normal person that fights well.  He's probably one of the strongest magicians of all times!"

"I'm not asking you," growled Syaoran, "or requesting this!  I will be the third defender!"

"Let's have Sakura decided," Yukito said, popping his head in between Syaoran and Eriol.

"Yes, Sakura should decide," agreed Tomoyo. 

"After all, it's her battle," uttered Shaolin with sadness tinged into his voice.

"FOOD!  Lovely, delicious food!" screamed Kero in delight.  "We have arrived!  Ohhh!  I can't wait to pick out all my favorites since Tomoyo's paying!"

"WE'RE HERE?" Yukito asked loudly.  "I think I'd like a SUPER-SIZE order of shrimp sushi rolls!"

"Can all you guys think about is food?" Syaoran growled his question.

"I thought I was paying," Eriol said confusingly.

"I'm paying!" Tomoyo said not taking no for an answer.

"What does Japanese food taste like?" inquired Shaolin.

"DELICIOUS!" cried out Kero and Yukito in unison as they ran into the restaurant.

"The rain's stopped," Tooya commented.  "How about we go for a walk and talk about things?"

Sakura smiled brightly.  "Are you sure?  I'm sorry, but I've just been so restless!  We don't have to if you don't want to…  It would be perfectly fine to talk here, you know.  I'd like to know everything about you!"

He blushed slightly at her outspoken comment and cleared his throat.  "I'd like to know everything about _you_."

"So would you rather stay here?" 

"We could go on the walk."

"We don't have to!" she insisted.  "I know you must be tired, since you just got here and all!"

"I'm not tired at all.  It would be a real pleasure to walk with you," he said sincerely.  "So, have you got a lot on your mind?  Are things really busy now that you're going to be a high school senior next year?"

"That's an understatement!" she exclaimed.  "Come on!  Let's go!"

"Awww… so eager, to be that young and innocent," he said faintly, "I wish people never had to grow up.  I remember that time long ago; I wasn't much different than you are."

"Well, you can be a kid with me again!  You're just like my uncle!" she exclaimed.

"I hope I'm not that old," he said huskily, staring into her with shimmering golden brown eyes.

_No, you're not that old, _she thought to herself, _and that's what I'm afraid of.  You've got something about you that makes me feel for you so deeply that it scares me.  It's the same kind of feeling that I get when I see Syaoran--Shaolin.  It's like we were suppose to be together.  But how can I feel this way about two different people?  Or is Tooya just so close to my okaasan that I want to be close to him so I can have a part of her near me?  _

_No, that's not it.  It's something deeper than that.  It's the same feeling I had when I met Syaoran for the first time, I knew him.  I know this Tooya.  Is he someone special from my past?  If Shaolin proves anything, I'm suppose to be with Syaoran.  But what if I made the wrong decision back then?  What if the one I was suppose to choose wasn't really Shaolin or Syaoran?  What if it were him--Tooya?_

_OR what if there is no right answer?  What if anything I choose could turn out wrong because I don't have someone that right for me?  No, I can't think that!  I'm going to think positive!  And if I had to choose right now, would I choose Syaoran?  Yes--but, is Shaolin really the same person as Syaoran?  He seems the same, but the intensity I feel when I'm around him--it overwhelms me.  And now things have only gotten more difficult with--with Tooya here…_

_Why is love so difficult?_

"Are you okay, Sakura?" he asked with a warm concern.  He reached out to touch her face in a seemingly romantic caress but stopped short from actually touching her.

"Yeah," she replied absently.  "I've just got too many things on my mind."

"You should let out the things that are on your mind," he advised her.  "It isn't healthy keeping things to yourself all the time.  It builds up something ugly--"

Sakura stared at him with incomprehending eyes, not knowing why he suddenly stopped talking.

"Well, your onii-chan is here.  We can leave now.  Is there anywhere special you'd like to go?  A mall, a shop?  Perhaps the local park?  Choose the place and I'll follow you anywhere," he murmured.

"The park," she answered swiftly.  "I haven't been to the park in a while."

"Figures, the kaiju can never get over that gigantic penguin," retorted Touya.

"Stop calling me that, onii-chan!  You're the kaiju not me!" she yelled at him, trying to stomp on his available feet.

"Penguin?" asked Tooya with puzzlement.

"You've got to see it!  It's such a great slide!" Sakura said enthusiastically.

She grabbed his hand in her eagerness to get moving and felt a sudden electric shock, a connection to him that spread throughout her body in a lightning second.  It tingled through every single vein in her body.  It was like her body had been just cool but now was liquid hot with a burning fire.  She still held on to his hand, not knowing if it was her imagination or this had really happened.  She glanced carefully at Tooya's face, studying his expression to see if he felt the feeling she had just felt of--of Recognition.

She saw nothing.  It crushed her.

Touya glared at Tooya from behind the older man's back.  Whatever was going on with this guy, he didn't like him anymore than he liked Shaolin.  This older man was getting way too flirty with Sakura_._  Talk about age difference, he thought with brotherly protection.  _If he wasn't okaasan's close friend I'd teach him a thing or two about flirting so openly in front of me with Sakura!_  

"Shall we go?" Tooya questioned, motioning with his other hand.

"Yes," Sakura tried to respond lightly as she felt her mouth water with disappointment and a keen sorrow.

_Why do I feel this way?_Sakura wondered.

Tooya's hand closed over Sakura tightly.

_I feel strange with him near me. _

He'd never let her go.

_I don't want him to let me go.  _

_ _

**Author's Note:** I hate complaints on how slow I write.  IF you readers try writing 5,000 words per week and manage it successful tell me HOW you do it!  This series has one of the LONGEST chapters I've written so stop complaining and weekly means weekly: I release only once a week!  

P.S. I'll eventually finish this series, no worries there, k? ^_^

**_Remember_**_:_ Reviewing _is_ Doing _the_ Giving _to_ Caring _authors_ Slaving _over_ Working _on_ Writing _fanfics_!__


	8. Truth Surfaces

Title: Reminiscent (8)

Title:  **Reminiscent (8)**

Author:  Yih

Written:  April 2001

Dedication:  sakura_blossom_angel7, Rhea, ashley-chan, the Lioness, Mina Potter, Lullaby, GoddessSakura, Rini, aurora manda, vanilla bunny, ~*~Sakura-chan~*~, 123, Silverlight, Crystal, ~*~Cutie Blossom~*~, angelwings2001, beth, SAKURAnTOKYO, Empress Sarah-sama, Jana, Kloud, shannon, Fairy Empress, Maire, and Twisted Rose!

**Review please, I appreciate all of them, they give me insight! 20+ for next part!**

Disclaimer:  All rights are exclusively Clamp except for ACC- Tooya, Dangyun, Shaolin, and Faa.  (Did I get them all?)

Touya's cellphone rang into the dewy air.  He answered it with a warm, "moshi moshi!"

Sakura could by the pleasing smile that spread over his face that it was Yukito that was calling him.  He muttered to them, "it's Yukito."

"I thought so," she said quietly to herself.

Sakura and Tooya were walking on the edge of the park, slowly making their way to the penguin slide.  Her onii-chan wandered over to the side to talk to Yukito privately.  She was amused that her onii-chan still didn't know that she knew about their relationship.  It was then that she saw a familiar dark head crossing the street to the opposite side of them.  She knew exactly who it was.  She started to wave her hands in the air to catch his attention.

_What is Eriol doing all alone, _she wondered.  _I thought that they were all going to go out and eat together._  Is something wrong, which is why he isn't with them?  Did something happen that I should know about?  I've felt something for him, more friendship than anything, but still I worry about him.  I wish he had someone like I had Syaoran so he wouldn't be so alone.

"Who is that that you're waving to?" asked Tooya, trying to make out the dark hair boy she was waving so frantically to.

"It's Eriol!  He's a great friend of mine.  I'm sure you'll like him as well.  I wonder where the rest of the group went…  I thought they were all going to eat out together.  I hope Eriol doesn't feel out of place," she responded with a sympathetic voice.

"Why would he feel out of place?"

"Because--because, nevermind!  It's a long story anyhow."

"I don't mind listening to your voice," he murmured.

Sakura blushed.  "Hoe!"

She glanced down in embarassment, only to look up quickly when she heard Tooya state tightly, "your close friend, Eriol is coming toward us.  He's waving."

"What is he saying?" she asked Tooya. 

"I think he's trying to warn you about something," he replied matter of factly.

"I can't make out what he's saying.  I guess we'll have to wait until he can catch up to us," she responded with a sigh.

It didn't take long for Eriol to get up to them with the speed of which he was running.  Before Sakura could even blink, he had grabbed her away from Tooya.  He glared at Tooya and quickly asked Sakura, "are you okay?"

Touya, who had just gotten off his cellphone with Yukito had seen the bizarre episode and had concluded Sakura had very strange friends.  He called out to Sakura, "Yukito told me to tell you that they think that Dangyun is nearby.  He tells me that Eriol felt Dangyun's presence as they were just about to order dessert; he sounded very disappointed.  Anyway, Sakura… Yukito told me to tell you that we're all meeting at the house.  Let's get going.

"I'm really sorry, Tooya-san.  But do you know your way back to your hotel?"

Tooya glanced at him with surprised that he didn' tknow.

"TOUYA!" yelled Eriol.  "That is DANGYUN!"

Touya stared at Tooya with sharp eyes.  "I thought there was something strange about you."

"You should be able to tell," Dangyun muttered.  "You do have some magic about you."

"Get away from him, Touya," shouted Eriol.

"That can't be Dangyun," cried out Sakura.  "That can't be Dangyun!"

Dangyun smiled at Sakura sadly.  "It seems that we are attracted to each other, but it just isn't right, is it?"

"You felt it too?"

He laughed bitterly.  "Of course I felt it.  And I will continue to fill it.  You haunt me and you love me…"

"Stop confusing her like that!" exclaimed Eriol.

"So you are Clow Reed's incarnation," murmured Dangyun softly.  "But you haven't got all his power.  Somehow you managed to split your power into two.  That was very foolish of you, Clow.  Did you wish for this to happen again?  If I remember correctly you didn't stop it from happening last time.  And so it will happen again.  Is that what you want--for it to happen again?"

"What is he talking about, Eriol?" asked Sakura.

"I've had her and you lost her; your little brother now has her, at least his incarnation does.  You have lost her a second time.  Did you believe that this lifetime would be different?  But it was… wasn't it?  You finally got one Faa, but you had to split your power into two to continue to see her.  Do you feel what your other part feels when he sees her?  Since you are the more intact Clow Reed?

"Have you let your bitterness of losing to your little brother seep into that half life of yours?  Maybe you have because both of you bare a striking resemblance to each other.  And I believe you had learned to hate your little brother haven't you?  Even though he's not your little brother anymore is he?  He is not related to you anymore because you have separated yourself from that bloodline and created your own in the hopes of--"

_Attaining her love… _thought Eriol.  _Yes, you bastard._  I have wanted her just as much as you have wanted her.  But maybe you were interested in what she could do for you than her actual love, although in your own way I do believe you loved her--still love her.  And yes, I wanted something different this time.  Now, I know that nothing will ever be different.  Those two were made together.  One without the other brings such unhappiness.  Maybe we're just suppose to be her close friends, helping her.  

_But it still isn't enough.  I want more.  And I can't have more.  _

"What is he talking about, Eriol?" she asked again.

"Explain it to her," urged Dangyun.  "You were always better at that."

"He's talking about Faa, Sakura--and you."

The look in her eye was of amazement and bewilderment.

Of course.  She was never the type to actively seek other people's love of her.  She's more of a giver than a taker.  Dangyun's definitely a taker, and so am I.  We are so similar; perhaps, that is why I grieved when he turned to the other side.  And he turned when she came back to me only to fall for my little brother, Shaolin.  But haven't I been happy?  Haven't I been?  I had her once, for a brief period of years as Nadeshiko.  But Shaolin--Syaoran hadn't been reincarnated yet.  I was lucky.  Or did I make my own luck? 

_Is that why she died so early--so unexpectedly?  Is it because I prevented her from being with my little brother, so she made herself be with him by dying on me--part of me?  For she was reborn just in time because a soul can still overtake a soul that is similar if the other soul hasn't gotten a firm grip on the body, especially if it's an old soul contending with a newly born soul.  And Faa is certainly an old soul.  _

_He is right.  I do hate my little brother.  He took away from me what I held dearly.  But was it my fault that she died in Dangyun's hands?  If I hadn't persuaded her to come to me, to show her Dangyun's cruelty at times, would she have left him to come to me and fall for my brother and forever be his soulmate?  Was it all my fault that Dangyun eventually killed her from a revenge so complicated that even I don't understand it--I, the closest person to him…_

Yet, I suppose he had to do it.  He is a taker as I am a taker and we both had destroyed two lives that only wanted to be together.  But was it me that changed the destiny of Dangyun and Faa, which is why Sakura is drawn so closely to him?  Was I the one that--that prevented them from being together and creating a new fate that is self corruptive unless--unless something extraordinary happens?

_And even that doesn't change the fact I love her.  _

_I always will.  _

_Which is why I gave her the Clow Cards.  My ultimate sign of mastery of the magical arts.  I gave them to her because I failed to protect her.  Was Dangyun right and I did cause her death because in the end I am the catalyst that started everything.  _

_And how I loved her--still love her.  _

_No woman has ever been loved by so many men.  _

_Is it her magic that makes her so alluring, that draws those who have magic to her?  That would include me and Dangyun and Syaoran and Eriol and Fujitaka... Does that mean the only one that really loved her was Shaolin because he contain no magic of any sort.  I don' t know.  _

_But I know she was loved by many and she is still loved by many._

"Shaolin has had her; you have had her.  Shouldn't this Faa be mine?" asked Dangyun.

"Don't touch her," warned Eriol.  "You are here to battle for something.  What is your price or prize?"

"I was going to ask for the lives of both Shaolin's, but I have since changed my mind once I have seen the pain she brings to me.  I would ask of her as the prize," replied Dangyun.  "It is either she or them."

"Me!" cried out Sakura.  "You can have me."

"_If_ she loses, and that is no guarentee," remarked Eriol.

"I didn't come here to be defeated," Danygun responded.  "She may have two defenders."

"Usually you ask for three, what has changed your mind?"

"She will have two defenders, and I will have none.  That is the best I will allow.  But you know," he said with a devastating grin, "I always have more than one trick up my sleeve."

"I know."

Dangyun swept toward Sakura and bowed on his knees in front of her, "I will see you again, my love."

He kissed her hand and disappeared before her very eyes.

A tingle went down her spine through the simple feathery touch of his lips on her soft skin.

"I don't know if I can beat him," she whispered faintly.

"You have to beat him," said Eriol firmly.

"It's hard to beat someone you love," she answered.

"So he has gotten to you?"

"Yes, he has."

_I am not surprised, _he thought.  _You love him; he loves you._  But unlike you, he has no qualms in beating you if you are his prize.  

_I wonder what he wants by asking you to be the price.  _

_I'm scared to ask what he means.  _

_And I'm terrifed to know what he wants.  _

_Because it may just be too much.  _

_ _

**Author's Note:** Instead of my usual ranting, I will respond to a review that is particularly insightful or just plain replyable too! (~ ß is my response)

From beth (whole review is beth):  here i am! and yes, it is amazing how you writers can do write and post them up so soon, cuz i sure as hell can't do that. i think it is humanly IMPOSSIBLE! but there is a reason to that, and it's because the readers hate to wait to read something that has gotten them hooked. 

~but the more time I have to write, the better it gets!  It takes me normally up to 3 hours to write on of these chapters which I try to make at leat 1,600 words!  But sometimes my mind is flowing and I get 2,000+ words in less than 2 hours!  It just depends on the day and the time and if I'm stressed out about PreCal.  

i am sure you have had that feeling before, ne? ok , really, i think all your hard work has paid off, don't you? 

~I really hope it has!

you make readers like myself laugh when reading your fanfics whenever there seem to be a joke . . . love this chapter *and ALL the ones before this one* it's wonderful! i love how this story is developing. i have a suspicion that there is more to your tooya then meets the eye.

~and you are right!  How does that feel?  Does it just tickle you inside? ^_~.  And I do try to be humorous, I hope that I am succeeding!

 i love the background glimpse of the relationship between faa and dangyun and the possible *if my suspicions are correct :)* relationship between sakura and dangyun *i won't say it; it's your story and i don't want to ruin it for someone else. but i'm sure most of us know what it is

~you may say whatever you want!  I'd like to here everything of what you think, of course you may not always be right!

 ;)* love the group interaction when they all go to eat *hilarious!* and touya's self-comments of sakura and tooya *ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS* so don't take the fact that i want to read your upcoming chapters soon as an offense, 'cause as a reader, i think it is unfair that we have to be left hanging the way we do *LOL*

~I just don't appreciate readers who review once and say "write MOREMOREMOREMORE" I mean if they want more they should at least take the time to tell me how they feel about my work that I spent hours on?  I mean, seriously it doesn't take long to give a well thought out review (this reply took 5 minutes at most, while I'm talking on AIM, and I DO HAVE AIM, if you guys ever wanna talk my AIM is da lil azn qt2 ^_^)

**_Remember_**_:_ Reviewing _is_ Doing _the_ Giving _to_ Caring _authors_ Slaving _over_ Working _on_ Writing _fanfics_!__


	9. Emerging Hope

Title: Reminiscent (9)

Title:**Reminiscent (9)**

Author:Yih

Written:April 2001

Dedication:To the following Reviewers- Heart Wind, ~*~Cutie Blossom~*~, Maire, The_MANinTHe_BoX, Silverlight, beth, Empress Sarah-sama, ~*Manda-chan*~, shannon, aurora manda, Lullaby, Akira, GoddessSakura, Twisted Rose, LeoAngel, angelwings2001, SAKURAnTOKYO, obiwankatie, sakura343, and Gia.

Disclaimer:All rights are Clamp except ACC- Dangyun, Tooya, Faa, Shaolin, and Siwan.

OMAKE BELOW!!! (scroll down)

Part 9

A black hole swirled open and Dangyun emerged from it with a grimace on his beautiful face.He twisted his enchanting lips into a pained smile as he remembered every excruciating detail of that electrifying touch.His faithful dark servants appeared next to him, but he waved them away.He couldn't stand the sight of their ugly faces and their evil minds disgusted him.His mind pulled from the back of his mind a spell he had always remembered.

He chanted the binding spell:

_"Forces I have called, _

_shadows I have rendered, _

_begone to the place of where you last landed!"_

His trio of dark servants struggled against the powerful pull of the spell because the spell had been very clear.Their destination was back to hell, and anything was better than that bottomless pit.Their soulless eyes filled with an emotion of desperation as they tried to grab their master in a plea to let them stay.He pulled away from them and banished them back to their eternalpunishment. 

He sat down heavily and pulled from an invisible holding place the only book of white magic he had every written.The cover of the book had one pale blue chinese character that read: _Eternity._He hesistated before finally opening the book and reading the first spell he had ever created.

Siwan Spell…

He had to shake the impulse to tear the page out and crumble his carefully crafted first spell.The terrible smile on his lips softened into something kinder.He caressed the page that Faa had written in her exquisite handwriting, and he remembered that long ago day…

_---"Where are you, Dangyun?" called out the sweet voice of his Faa._

_He shouted in a voice full of excitement, "I'm here!I think I've finally figured out how to make my first guardian!"_

_"Oh!" she exclaimed."Can I watch?"_

_"Of course," he said amiably._

_"What have decided to called it?" she asked as she stood behind him, glancing at his spell._

_"Siwan."_

_She grabbed the sheet of paper from him and said in a teasing voice, "you need neater handwriting if you are ever to do a spell right!No wonder you're so much behind Clow!He's already on his fifth spell!If you wrote neater, maybe the first three spells you tried wouldn't have turned out so disastrous!"_

_"Don't remind me," he responded with childish anger._

_"Cheer up!I was only joking, but if you want I'll recopy it for you," she offered._

_"That would be great!"_

_"Why don't we try out this spell now?" she queried._

_"I need a lock of your hair," he murmured._

_"Well, take it then!"_

_Dangyun cupped Faa's face tenderly and slowly shifted his hands to take one strand of her glorious hair.He pulled it out carefully.He then placed the hair on top of the other materials he had gathered for the spell and warned her, "be quiet.This spell must go right."_

_She nodded and he began to whisper:_

"By the light, Of the greatest source, 

_I call upon the right,_

_To begin anew,_

_A creature of the enchanter,_

_Like the flower by my side,_

She'll be my keeper-- My eternal guardian angel." 

Nothing happened.

_"It was perfect!" she exclaimed."What went wrong?"_

_"What went wrong?" a childish voice echoed._

_"It worked!" cried out Dangyun."It really worked!"_

_They both stared at Dangyun's first created guardian with sheer awe.The creature resembled a nymph with Faa's chestnut hair and the lightest blue eyes.She was about the size of one of his smallest potion holding bottles, not much taller than three inches.Her size was simply precious, and the size of her eyes made her face even more proportioned like a child's!_

_"What's your name little one?" he inquired._

_"Siwan," she declared."I am to be your keeper."_

_Faa laughed sweetly."She's so cute!"_

_Siwan bowed and bobbed her precious head.Then using her silver wings, she flew up to Faa and kissed the girl on the nose.Siwan giggled and rested herself upon Dangyun's shoulder.She declared, "I am to be like you, but I am not you!I am nothing but his and nothing more I shall ever be.But I can be yours too, if you desire!I was created only for him though, and I will always be with him."_

_"You are so serious," Faa teased._

_"I am not totally you," Siwan responded._

_"Of course you aren't," Dangyun murmured."No one could be like Faa.She is perfection."_

_Faa blushed sweetly and denied it with a shake of her head._

_However he might put it, he considered Siwan the epitome of the magical beauty, and Faa--his fated love.---_

He had made his decision.

He was going to bring Siwan back.No one was more loyal to him than Siwan.And nothing reminded him of Faa quite as much as Siwan did.For Siwan's face was exactly like Faa's except with an unnatural ethereal glow.It was face he couldn't have forgotten even if he wanted to.He had decided he would allow Sakura her three defenders, but Siwan would his one defender.__

There was no guardian quite like Siwan.For he had made her.

He closed the book with a sound emiited like the clap of thunder.And he chanted softly: 

_"From the eternity,_

_I have placed you._

_Come forth my beauty,_

_To the place that is true._

Be my keeper once again…" 

This time something did happen, and it was extraordinary.Out of nowhere, a swirl of liquid silver burst into the air, shattering several nearby bottles.In the of the twisting liquid, he could make out the face of his love.He hadn't know how much he had been looking forward to seeing Siwan again until he glanced down at his shaking hands.He laughed with a low intensity that he remembered that Faa had liked so much.

It hurt to remember…

But he couldn't stop.__

When I first saw… Faa--Sakura, I thought I was dreaming.From what I could gather from Clow's older half, Nadeshiko, while being a reincarnation of Faa wasn't the full Faa.Somehow, my beauty had managed to split herself into two.But somehow she managed to regain all of herself when she became 'Sakura.'I thought I hated her for leaving me, running from a challenge she couldn't handle.Now, I'm not so sure… because in the end he was right.I was Evil.

He shook his head to stop thinking about the impossible.He had come here from one mission and that was to destroy her to punish those who had kept her from him, changing their fate forever.And he had to destroy her because he couldn't stand it if she was with another.

He pushed his thoughts to the sleeping form of Siwan.The liquid bubble surrounding her had disappeared into thin air, and it had left her resting on the hard wooden table, peacefully dreaming.He gently nudged her with his pinky.She slowly began to wake, her luminous blue eyes blinking from drowsiness.

"Dangyun?" she murmured, then her eyes widened with joy."It seems like I haven't seen you in forever!" she cried out as she slammed her minuscule body into the indention of his throat.

He cleared his throat after the impact and offered her his finger to reside on."I put you to sleep after Faa left, my little one.I couldn't deal with it; I still can't."

"You don't have to suffer through this alone!" she said with sweet earnest."I know we can find a way to get her back!She loves both of us!She was my only mother…"

"I had forgotten you haven't been with me for so long…so much time has passed since I removed you to your resting place.You haven't changed much, my little one.I have missed you much.I'm sorry that I didn't call you back sooner.But I needed to be alone," he explained."And I will show you why if you close your eyes and open your mind."

She did as he told her and saw what she had missed.

Siwan felt his pain when Faa ran away because he had been dabbling into the dark arts.But she also saw that Faa would have gone back to him if he had come for her quicker than he had.She experienced his rage at Faa's refusal, and she sympathized with him.She knew how he was better than anyone.She wandered through his mind, seeing Faa break the engagement and become infatuated with Shaolin, Clow's younger brother.And then she felt his agony when he slit Faa's throat in his revenge and in his salvation.She saw the way he had come forward and all the events that had happened.

She opened her eyes suddenly, and rubbed her face against his index finger."I understand," she murmured."But if you hadn't been in such pain, and if you hadn't been so foolish, you would have seen she was willing to come back to you… if you hadn't fallen into deeper dark magic to rid yourself of your misery.You have changed, Dangyun.But I can see that you are in a crossroad, and that this Faa could bring you back if you don't fight her."

"I have no choice," he replied bitterly."She doesn't love me."

Siwan flew to where she was next to his cheek and cuddled against it."How could she not love you?I am part of her, and she is part of me.I love you, Dangyun.I love this you.You were wise to put me away until you had returned to what I loved most.All you have to do is put aside what had happened and embrace what could be.Have no regrets because she was meant for you."

"Fate has brought her only closer to Shaolin."

"They changed fate," she reasoned."It is only your right to change it back."

"What you are asking me is just as wrong as what they did…"

"I am a creature of magic; therefore, I am wiser than anything of this earth that is alive," she said."But I am also created of you and of her.You made me that, and how could I not want the ones that made me, together?It is only natural.You two were my parents.

"You were the one that bound me to her when said: 'like the flower by my side'!I am her to a degree, but I am also you to a degree, Dangyun.I was the part of you that was kept innocent, just like I am the part of her that is innocent, but," she said impishly, "while I have the personality of both of you entwined, I have the knowledge of my kind."

"It is said to impossible to create a magical guardian from parts of two souls," he retorted."I just made you look like her.While, you do resemble her in the way you act, you have known her since the day you were made!Even if I said you were, 'of the enchanter, like the flower by my side…'"

"You said it yourself.I was made of you and also like the Faa by your side.You were the one that chanted that spell, and what you said is what happened.Granted, the magic didn't surface as quickly as clear as the spell obviously was because of the way you said it as if it were part of two soul, which is impossible!But yes, I am made of both of you."

"What you are suggesting is impossible!You can't be made of two souls!" he cried out.

_"Unless… you two aren't different souls.And you are one and the same."_

_ _

**Author's Note: **I will pick one review to reply to that is especially good or thought provoking!Not as many reviews this time… (so sad).(perks up, don't you just love my baby?)

From ~*manda-chan*~

I know just how you feel about the reviews thing. I'm an author too, and some people don't really say much more than "write the next chapter". That can be depressing. So I'm going to give you insight. This is getting VERY interesting. This chapter confirmed my suspicions about Tooya too ^^ Sorry that I didn't review every chapter, but I read in the morning during school most of the time, so it gives me limited review time. Anyway, now there are 4 people who are in love with Sakura? Woah. Sakura must be confused about her feelings now (who wouldn't?^^). I've got to say, this is one of the best fanfictions I've read in a long time! People from the past and everything. Keep up the excellent work on this fic, I hope to read more soon! ^^

My reply: LOL, but don't you sympathize with Tooya just a bit?I think of him as Tooya because Dangyun just sounds evil.Well, I do really APPRECIATE the time you took to review.And this insight review is such a beautiful thing!Well if you consider "Shaolin" and "Syaoran" the same person, there really are only 3 people infatuated with Sakura.Besides, I was tinkering with the idea of "Yue" but I'll do something different for that.Hehe… Thanks for the fanfic compliment!I really do try, while I don't consider this my "brain child", one of my newer fics is kinda creepy but if I finish it, it will definitely be good!I do consider this the BEST CCS fanfic I've ever written, and a very interesting NEW idea.Don't cha think?Nothing remotely close has been done before. ^^;; 

_The_ Omake 

**WARNING:** This _DOES_ make SEXUAL INNUENDOS, so if you can't handle it don't read it.The author takes no responsibility for the "damage" reading this may do to a young, innocent mind.This is just for the FUN and a new insight of what happens when the characters are allowed to be **_FREE_** from the Author's guidance…

Production of the i of Yih, in cooperation of Y and h of Yih.

Thank you for reading this mad prop!

© April 2001 Youth imagination hope of Yih.

All rights are reserved by Yih.

[CURTAIN RISES.]

"Quit sulking!You're a big bear when you get all weepy," exclaimed Siwan loudly.

Dangyun glared at his beautiful creation with his large eyes that did have tears filling them.

"Be happy happy happy HAPPY!" she screamed at him, waving his fist under his nose.

He blinked and a sweatdrop rolled down his forehead."What has gotten into you my **sweet**, _calm _guardian?"

Siwan giggled and did a back flip."I'm still sweet, but I'm done with being calm!I guess it's because I've been asleep all this time… I've got so so so so so so much pent up up up ENERGY EN-ER-GY!!!I can't do enough it seems!ALL THIS ENERGY AND NO WAY TO USE IT!!!"

Dangyun stared at her with a dubious expression from the way she was acting he didn't see how she wasn't using up her 'energy' at a horrendously fast rate.Then his thoughts turned to how much Siwan was like the hyperactive Faa when she had had too much sugar at a meal._That must be where she gets it from, _he thought to himself._She certainly doesn't get that from me!_

Faa suddenly appeared in a bubble over his head and screamed, "what the _HELL_ do you mean that she GETS it from me?!!"

"**GOMEN!!!**" he quickly retorted back.

He could feel a torrent of sweat pouring down his face as his _lost love_ popped her bubble and grabbed Siwan from under his nose.He felt so _weird_ watching them dancing and singing as loudly as they possibly could.As he paid attention to what they were singing he nearly fainted as it was he felt blood pouring out of his nose.

**Screw** this life Cuz it's not **screwing** me! 

He couldn't believe that they were chanting the lewd ditty as if it were a childish rhyme!He thought he'd need a blood transfusion when Faa made a big gesture turning all his attention toward Siwan.From the way she was swinging her hips suggestively, he didn't even want to know what she was about to announce, but he could tell he wasn't going to like it ONE BIT!!! 

"I'M A **SEXY SEXY **_PIXIE_!!!WANNA _DANCE DANCE, _DANG-YUN _WITH _**SEXY SEXY **_ME_?" she screamed at him as she moved toward him with a distorted smile on her suddenly rouged lips.

He definitely hadn't been expecting that, and it was MORE than he could take.He fainted _dead away_.

[BACKGROUND SNICKER.]

Faa laughed as she saw him collapse to the floor, and Siwan turned around, asking: 

_"What did I do?"_

[CURTAIN FALLS.]

_The _Omake End

Note: Please review again if YOU can to tell me if I should keep doing FUN OMAKES @ the end… (I know signed reviews can't review again, oh well ^_^;;).I think this may be too extreme for some of you, just enjoy it though!


	10. Story of Past

Title: Reminiscent (10)

Title:**Reminiscent (10)**

Author:Yih

Written:May 2001

Dedication:To the following Reviewers- PhiloSoftBlu, Maire, Negai, Siapa, ~*~Cutie Blossom~*~, Sakura343, Heart Wind, aurora manda, GoddessSakura, Maire (again, thanks for reviewing twice for the OMAKE as well), ashley-chan, shevey, Kingpin, Empress Sarah-sama, Akira, Woobaby, angelwings2001, SAKURAnTOKYO, Gia, naria, OneWeirdMoNkEy!, Lullaby, Silverlight, Cherry Princess, CherryBlossom Angel, ~*Manda-chan*~, obiwankatie, Twisted Rose, and Sherry.(27 REVIEWS!!! Definitely one of my more well received fanfics, thanks for the continued support!!!)

Disclaimer:All rights are exclusively Clamp except ACC- Siwan, Dangyun, Tooya, Faa, and Shaolin.(woow!!! Talk about this crew!)

Part 10

"I guess it's decided then," Eriol said softly."You don't have to choose your defenders then…"

"I'm kind of glad though," she responded swiftly."It would be tough to choose any of you guys.You all have some special way that you could help me in the battle.I'm glad I don't have to make a choice.I have no idea how I could tell the ones I don't choose that I don't need them.It's just so tough…I'm glad that I don't have to pick."

"It is better this way isn't it, Sakura?" he questioned lightly.

"Yes, it is."

A silence fell as they walked in perfect coordination behind the guiding Touya.Eriol thought it was eery, and he knew it was because she now knew how he felt.He was sorry that she hadn't found out in a more desirable way.But he couldn't change that she knew it.Even though he wished he could.

"Sakura?" 

"Yes, Eriol?" 

"It's true… what he said," he said hoarsely."I loved her, and I love you."

Sakura stared at her hands and felt that somehow that she had known this from the beginning, but had just not wanted to admit what she thought would be an impossibility.It had just been a vague intuition, but it her instinct was always right.She had known beforehand, but she just didn't know that it was because it was a past memory.

"Say something," he urged her in a pained voice.

She didn't know what to say.How was she suppose to say that she didn't return his feelings when what he had felt for her had gone back through time and was still here in the present life?This was harder than anything she had ever had to do, even harder than Yue's test on her.What was she suppose to say?But she knew she had to answer him, the only question was how to phrase it just right?She couldn't stand to hurt anyone's feelings.

"What I feel for you…" she began, but trailed off with an unwillingness to hurt him.

"You don't feel what I feel for you," he ended with an edge of bitterness.He caught the hurt look on her face and quickly said, "it's okay.I understand.You seem to forget I've been through this before with her.It's not a big surprise that you'd refuse me, Sakura.You are the whole reincarnation of Faa, not like Nadeshiko was.She was only half, and I think that was enough for me… to be love by half of you.She did love me, I think."

"Of course she did!" Sakura exclaimed.

"Arigato," he remarked with a smile."I needed that."

"Will you do me a favor?" she asked quietly but with a fervent tone.

"Anything," he replied rapidly.

"I want you to tell me about Faa."

She saw his throat convulse as he swallowed his saliva with difficulty.She didn't expect it to be easy.But she needed to know something about what she was.She closed her eyes, and a tear fell out of the corner of her eye.She didn't know how, but somehow she had caused so many people pain in that lifetime…

I left Dangyun… and that caused so much tragedy with him.And by leaving him, I caused his vengeance against me, that led to Shaolin's heartache. And look at how much Eriol--Clow also loved me… I've been the one that has caused all this by just one unthoughtful gesture of selfishness.If only I had stayed with him… none of this would happen… but would I have been an happy as I am now with Syaoran?

"Sakura?"

"Yes?" she responded as she lifted her head up.

"Tell Touya we'll meet up with him later.We need to talk about this privately."

"Okay.Wait here."

She squeezed his hand reassuringly before she ran ahead to catch up to her onii-chan.Eriol saw her whisper something to him and noticed that he shook his head with a clear 'no.'But then he smiled as he saw her use her ever potent pleading look.He knew the exact second that Touya gave in to his 'kaiju.'His shoulders fell a little, and his eyes took on a look of extreme weariness as he slowly nodded his assent.Eriol had never seen a person been able to refuse that look.He hadn't been able himself.

She still cares for me in this lifetime, he thought, trying to comfort himself.She reassured me with her touch, and that meant so much to me.I needed that… how did she know?I can't believe I ruined her life when I told her that if she didn't leave Dangyun he'd become worse.Did I do that for a pure motive, or did I do it because I wanted her to turn to me when he lost it?Did I know that he was going to lose it when she left?Was I hoping that he would so I'd be able to comfort her?

It backfired on me in the past… Now all I can do is try to make up for that mistake that cost everyone so much…If I hadn't done that, would I have made the one that had worshipped Shaolin from the very beginning so unhappy?It was a costly error, and it ruined many lives…And maybe this is my chance to remedy it.

"Eriol?" she said, interrupting his flow of thoughts."Touya told us that he'd wait for us here.He'd give us as long as we needed, but won't leave us here.He says strange things happen in the park when it gets dark.I can't believe he still doesn't know…"

Eriol didn't say anything, but he knew from the looks that Touya kept aiming at him that it wasn't because of the dark that he was staying over to watch them.It was him that Touya was worried about.He knew that Touya knew about Sakura's actions in the park, while she had been catching the Clow Cards.He moved them to a place where Touya could still watch them without overhearing any of their conversation.He didn't blame Touya; he'd behave the same way if he had Sakura for a sister.She just inspired a protective instinct in others.

"I have a feeling this is going to be a long story," Sakura predicted knowingly.

"The past always has a long story, it seems," he murmured with a hesitant smile.

"But you should tell it from the beginning…"

"I am.Are you ready?" he inquired.

"I'm ready."

"I first met you when you were a little, cute cherub.Both Dangyun and I were in our teens, but you were younger.You loved tofollow him everywhere he went.You were happy to be with us.I didn't realized at the time, but your parents had arranged for you to be married to him.I don't think any of us knew it at the time.Because normally a young girl wasn't allowed outside the family lands; you were though.I guess you could say I was enchanted with you from the moment I saw you…

"I saw you every summer when Dangyun would visit me.He brought you along like you were his 'shal may may.'Every year you two got closer and I became slightly jealous of the relationship between the two of you.One year, that childish jealousy disappeared when you turned thirteen.Suddenly, you weren't an errant child anymore.You were a beautiful, young woman, and I began to love you as a such.You had blossomed into a beauty in only a year.But--I meant nothing to you.You only had eyes for him…

"I don't know if you knew at that age you were to be his 'wife.'However, it was easy to see that you adored him.You two were happy and perfect together.You seem to know what the other wanted or needed without having to be told by the other.And I wanted that…Dangyun didn't think of you as more than his best friend until the next year I saw you again.I could tell something had changed.

"He would glare at me whenever you paid even the slightest attention to me.It's as if he knew how I really felt… I tried to suppress the feelings I felt for you, but there's only so much a person can hide inside.Dangyun and I were 24; you were 16 at the time.He confronted me with my feelings for you, and I admitted as much.I knew then that our friendship wasn't going to ever be the same as it was.Neither of us could stop feeling what we felt for you.

"I was the wrong one though.He was right to love you, and I told him that I wouldn't interfere anymore.I didn't keep that promise, though.I became concern two years later when he started to dabble experimentally into the dark arts.I warned him that it was wrong to even read the book in the first place, but he didn't listen to me.I don't blame him for not listening to me, if I was talking to a man that loved the girl I loved, I'd probably react the same way.

"It was when he tried to conjure his first spell that I drew the line.I begged you to come with me for you own safety.You were confused and worried.You hated feeling helpless.I finally managed to convince you to come with me when after he tried that spell.You were horrified because you couldn't believe that he would do such a thing.Somehow, I don't know how--Dangyun had fallen into a spiraling emotional whirl.Your departure set the spark, and he absorbed himself into his dark magic.

"You were heartbroken when you heard that he had begun to write his first book on the dark arts.You wanted to go back, but I prevented you.Your haunted face has never left me… I was wrong to keep you with me.I'm so sorry… but was it so wrong to keep you with me?You still didn't want me.You wanted him.I finally relented for you to go back, but Shaolin changed everything when he swept into your life.

"You had known him when you were a little girl.At that time, the elders of the clan hadn't known that he had possessed no magical talent whatsoever.He joined us in our excursions until you were 7.I don't think you ever forgot about him.He was away from 10 years studying from his teacher, a master at the sword.He returned in time to learn all about Dangyun and what had happened.

"Somehow, he captured your heart when you were hurting.I think it was because he was the epitome of everything you had ever wanted.He was handsome, strong, and honorable.But you still couldn't forget about Dangyun even though we both kept telling you that he was gone and lost to you.Your family even broke off the engagement when they heard about the path that he had gone.They offered Shaolin your hand, and you didn't protest.

"Yet, I could tell though you still believed in Dangyun.You believed you could change him.In your own way, I think you did love Shaolin with something very deep inside of you.Whatever it was, it wasn't like what you felt for Dangyun.That love defied everything.You loved him even though he turned to the dark side of life.However, you slowly accepted Shaolin to be your husband.He was thrilled because he loved you with every fiber in him.

"One night, the girl that had been previously promised to Shaolin showed up at our lands.She ranted and raved to you that you had stolen her 'true love.'You, of course, felt awful and retreated back into your room.I was here hoping that you'd come to me.I didn't doubt I could persuade your parents that a union with a sorceror wouldn't be so bad, even though what had happened to Dangyun had been tragic.

"Shaolin came to you and told you he loved you, only you.It seemed to work, but a fortnight later you disappeared.We didn't know what happened to you, but I could make a guess.Ever since Dangyun and I were 16, we would have magical battles.I had always won.This time it was different, he was fully in control of the dark arts and I feared a confrontation with him.I knew somehow he had managed to get you to come to him, or that you went to him.Either way, I knew it, and I didn't stop it.

"Shaolin went to search for you.I told him that it was no use if Dangyun had taken you.Shaolin wouldn't be able to find you, especially if you didn't wish to be found.I don't know what made Dangyun kill you; I think it was for revenge more than anything.Yet, I can't imagine why he would do that.I knew him; I knew the pain he must have felt when he slit her--your throat.I can only imagine what he must have felt…

"He had to be demented when he killed you.There was no other way he could have killed you.And also he must have felt a burning rage when Shaolin came to get you.I wondered if he really would have ended your life if Shaolin hadn't come.I can't blame any of them.I can only blame myself… I didn't fight him.And you died for it.

"I'm so sorry, Sakura…"

"It's--it's okay," she said in a trembling voice.Tears had spilled down her cheeks as he told him the story.She couldn't believe how tragic it seemed.The only thing she knew was that if she had been able to relive anything, she wouldn't have changed a thing she had done.There was no one to blame.She just wondered what had caused Dangyun to do what he did.

"I'm sorry," he cried out.

She blinked away the rest of her tears and wrapped her arms around Eriol, hugging him."It's not your fault.It wasn't anybody's fault.Somewhere in the story, there's a missing piece that caused all this.And it certainly wasn't your fault.How could you want to fight Dangyun for the first time as an enemy?For this time, he wasn't going to be using good magic against you in fun; he was going to use dark magic to try and kill you."

Sakura pulled away from him quickly after she had said what she just said.She hadn't known how she had known to say that.It was then that a gentle breeze caressed her face with a motherly tenderness.She lifted her head to the sky and closed her eyes, drinking in the delicious feeling.She wasn't alone in this.

There were details trapped inside her mind that needed to be released.She felt the wind squeeze her hand in a 'you've got it' gesture.She wanted to shout that she understood that the only way out of this horror was for her to remember everything, combining all of the memories to reform what had been the piece that had caused this living nightmare.

The wind died down, but not before whispering to Sakura, you know him… you know him…

"I know him…" she murmured delicately.__

**Author's Note:**I will release 1 more chapter before I stop because of AP test and Finals.After those are over, I'll serious start working on this series again.If you people don't open your mind to the possibilities of new relationships, this story is going to not be quite as enjoyable.I don't know if it will be Sakura x Eriol or Dangyun or Shaolin or Syaoran, I'm still deciding.I was even thinking of adding Yue into the mix, but I decided against that… (I'll do a short story on that instead).Ja ne!

P.S. If you don't understand reread everything or read some of the insightful reviews, they really do help!

Most insightful review… (it's SOOOOO Hard to Choose…)goes to _MAIRE_!!! 


	11. Differences and Difficulties

Title: Reminiscent (11)

Title:**Reminiscent (11)**

Author:Yih

Written:May 2001

Dedication: To the following Reviewers- Kaera-chan, *Sara*, DragnBlak251, Twisted Rose, angelwings2001, Maire, GoddessSakura, PhiloSoftBLu, Rhea, the Lioness, OneWeirdMoNkEy!, Myst, naria, aurora manda, Akira, Empress Sarah-sama, Silverlight, Heart Wind, obiwankatie, Lullaby, Gia, ~*Manda-chan*~, and Sakura 1301.

Disclaimer:All rights are Clamp except ACC- Siwan, Dangyun, Tooya, Shaolin, and Faa.

Please keep reviewing!

**OMAKE 2 BELOW! ****(the tale of two drunks)******

Part 11

"I'm worried about, Sakura," declared Shaolin.

He knew he wasn't the only one.The present version of himself had been pacing across the living like a caged beast--precisely like a wolf.He narrowed his eyes when Syaoran abruptly swung around to look at him with a menacing stare.He personally wondered when he had turned into such a grump.He couldn't remember a time when he had ever acted that way.But then again he had never before see a past reincarnation of himself, either.

"They're taking too long to get here," Syaoran growled."They should have been here a half hour ago!What's taking them so long?"

Tomoyo blinked from her position on the coach."Eriol should be back here as well.They've both taken entirely too long to get back here.Didn't Eriol say he was just going to scout around the area?"

Kero nodded affirmatively."But it could take a while to get even a whiff of Dangyun."

"I've never had a problem finding a magical presense, stuffed animal," Syaoran remarked.

Kero glared at Syaoran and was about to launch himself at the brat when Tomoyo grabbed his tail."Kero and I are going into the kitchen to get some snacks ready.I'll also call Sakura to find out what's taking them so long."

Kero brightened up immensely at the word 'snack,' but that still didn't totally divert his attention from the annoying nickname that the brat continued to call him.He threw another fierce look at Syaoran before following Tomoyo into the kitchen where the delights of food were.His tail twitched in anticipation of the lovely desserts, and he wondered if he could possibly convince Tomoyo to whip up something special since they had left before they could order dessert at the restaurant.

"Kero's right," Shaolin commented.

"About trying to find Dangyun?" inquired Syaoran.

"Yes."

Yukito's eyes flipped from one to the other and sensed an incredible tensions between Syaoran and Shaolin.He decided to make his exit and hoped that they wouldn't figure out that he didn't want to be there when the argument started.He calmly interrupted them when his stomach obliged him by growling in hunger."I think I'd better go get something to eat.I still haven't had my dessert yet."

"He really eats a lot," Shaolin said, "to think that he's still hungry after that gigantic meal."

"I think that Eriol was overreacting during dinner," Syaoran told Shaolin."I didn't even feel the slightest hint of a dark aura around."

"I'm not surprised you didn't feel Dangyun's aura.Even Clow Reed had to try to sense it."

"I don't think auras are so hard to feel," he said firmly."Even if Dangyun is shielding his aura, dark magic is easy to make out because it's tainted."

"Therein lies the problem," Shaolin murmured, "because Dangyun's aura isn't dark."

"Isn't dark?If killing the one he loves isn't evil, I don't know what is!" Syaoran exclaimed."To top that off, he has written some of the most comprehensive books on dark magic!How can his aura not be dark?"

"You know about the books?" Shaolin queried with his eyebrow raised in surprise.

Syaoran had the guilt to look sheepish."I stole into the hidden part of the library one night and finger through it.But it was only because it was forbidden, and I was just a child back then.I didn't know any better," he responded defensively.

"Dangyun isn't evil; he isn't totally evil.He doesn't have a dark aura, which means that even though that he 'practices' black magic, he is still within control enough to pull out of the strong pull of those forces.The dark power isn't controlling him; he's controlling them.It's part of the reason you can't feel him.He's not dark, and you've been instinctively searching for an evil source.You've been searching for the wrong kind of magic.If anything, his aura should be grey or a pale silver," Shaolin explained to him.

"It's impossible!You're suggesting he has mastery over two completely different magics," said Syaoran in disbelief.

"He does.He's the only magician I know of that has high expertise in both black and white magic.That makes him more than formidable for even Clow Reed, who is the Master of White Magic.It's nearly unfeasible to find him because of that.He knows not only the 'right' way to hide an aura, but the 'wrong' way to disguise it.You have to search for an aura unlike any in the universe.He's not easy to find; he's impossible to find if he doesn't want to be found.Only my onii-chan knew how to find him."

"Then we're never going to find him, is that what you are saying?" asked Syaoran with an edge of anger.

"I know where to find him," murmured Shaolin.

"Where then?" Syaoran demanded.

"Where the flower is, the bee will surely follow."

"Then we have to find Sakura!"

"Now, you understand why I'm worried if Eriol has even caught a whiff of Dangyun's aura," said Shaolin, all of a sudden weary."I hope that she gets back here as safe as possible, and that she hasn't run into Dangyun just yet."

Syaoran nodded stiffly.

"YUMMY!" Kero yelled as he burst into the living room with chocolate all over his face.

"KERO! I told you to wait until Sakura and Eriol got back!" Tomoyo reprimanded the guardian.

"Oh, but I didn't touch it first!The snow bunny did it first!" Kero accused Yukito of the heinous crime.

"What?" Yukito queried after he had licked the remaining sugary sweet cream from his hands.When he finally understood what was happening, he shook his head in denial."I saw Kero hovering over it… I couldn't help it.Gomen, Tomoyo."

She threw her hands up in the air with resignation."Just don't eat what's left, okay?"

The eyes on both Yukito and Kero popped open.They turned to Tomoyo with pleading puppy eyes, begging her to let them finish the rest of the chocolate cake.Tomoyo tried to stare them down but failed at the earnest expressions on their faces.She sighed and set the cake down on the coffee table.It wasn't long before Kero and Yukito were diving into the cake.

"Are they always like this?" Shaolin asked no one in particular.

Tomoyo laughed at the look on his face and replied, "they're usually worse than this." 

"We should be working on a plan not eating ourselves sick," Syaoran said reproachfully."If Dangyun's here as Eriol thinks we won't have much to come up with anything to help Sakura.

"Did you call her?" Shaolin inquired, suddenly remembering that Tomoyo had said that she was going to call Sakura.

"I did."

"Well?" exclaimed Shaolin and Syaoran simultaneously.

"They're heading back here.They should be here soon," Tomoyo replied.

"What took them so long?" Yukito asked.

"I don't really know.But Eriol's with her.I didn't have a long time to talk to her because her battery was low," Tomoyo said thoughtfully."That reminds me that I should have gotten the newest Nokia phones last week!With the Li-ION battery, it's has even more energy and more light-weight!I wonder if she wants matching ones or this time I should I get more individualized cells?"

"What is she talking about?" Shaolin whispered to Kero.

"Nothing much," Kero answered."Tomoyo likes to buy cells for Sakura because she talks to her the most.She likes for Sakura to have the best that money can buy.She likes to be able to keep in touch with Sakura constantly.It's useful for knowing where she is in time like these."

"She's so much like Ji-li," remarked Shaolin.

"Whose Ji-li?" inquired Tomoyo with interest sparkling in her eyes.

"Faa's best friend.It seems that everyone from then has been reincarnated again.I see her in you.You both cared a great deal about Sakura.You two were inseparable as I've been told by Faa.I only saw you once, but I never forgot what a good friend you were to Faa.I know it must have caused you great sadness whenever she left in the summer.I know you weren't the only one feeling that way.Faa would get homesick near the end of her stay, and then she would return home.If anything you two are even closer in this lifetime," Shaolin said reverently.

"She's my best friend," Tomoyo told him."I'd go anywhere to be with her." 

"I'm sure you would."

"Tell me more about Ji-li," Tomoyo requested.

Shaolin scratched the top of his head."I really never got to know you very well, but I do know you don't look the same.That was why I never connected you to 'Ji-li' before this moment.But your personalities are extremely similar.I do remember one memory that stood out when I saw you.Your servant girl was piled behind you carrying bolts of bright silks.If I'm not mistaken, even then you had the gift of the needle.Both of you disappeared for the rest of the afternoon, huddled inside Faa's chambers.You had come to prepare her wedding dress.We were to be married before the onslaught of winter.

"You left before Faa was taken by Dangyun.You had your own wedding to see to.I remember Faa saying, 'I'll be there.I won't miss it.'But she missed it," his voice was breaking up now in sorrow."We sent news to you, but knowing how it travels back then, it's hard to say if it even arrived.And then, I came here to protect Faa, so I don't know what has happened since then."

"What does Ji-li mean?" whispered Tomoyo in question.

"Lucky and beautiful," Syaoran responded before Shaolin.

"It means exactly what you are," Shaolin added.

"It's too bad I wasn't a reincarnation back then," Yukito said without thinking.

"You were Yue back then!" cried out Kero.

"I forgot about him," Yukito said after he thought about it."Well, if you think about it Yue and I are totally different people."

"You can say that again," Kero mumbled to no one in particular.

"What?" asked Yukito with puzzlement.

"I just confirmed what you said," Kero explained.

"Why didn't you say so then?" Yukito is still slightly confused.

Kero just shook his head and whispered to Shaolin, "I think all that food he consumes goes to his head."

"And it doesn't go to your head?" Tomoyo shot back at him, having overheard his remark.

Kero made an extravagant show of trying to look innocent but failing miserably.Syaoran laughed and exclaimed, "the stuffed animal never knows when to stop while he's ahead.It's a wonder he's even the guardian of the Clow book."

"He makes a good guardian," Shaolin replied defensively.

"Why does he like you?" Syaoran asked Kero, ignoring Shaolin.

Kero smiled."You two aren't quite the same exact person, although you do look astonishing similar.Hai, you do have the same soul, but your magical abilities are distinctively different.Shaolin doesn't have any, as you all know.And if you didn't know or weren't paying attention," shooting a look at Yukito who was finishing off the last of the chocolate cake, "now you know."

"It still doesn't explain why you two are close," Syaoran retorted.

"It should.Your magical abilities are closer to Yue's than mine are.Yours is much more 'Eastern' and 'moonish' than mine are.If anything your best element is water,and it shows in the way you are able to control lightening well because water conducts it," Kero explained sensibly.

"So you and me clash?" 

"Not exactly, I just don't like you that much," Kero stated bluntly.

"You're just more attracted to Shaolin, aren't you?" Syaoran asked with a teasing glint.

Kero glared at Syaoran, and he was about to launch himself at Syaoran when the door flew open unexpectedly.Everyone in the room turned to stare at the three in the doorway:Touya, Eriol, and Sakura.Sakura blinked and exclaimed, "hoe!Why are you guys so surprised?Didn't Tomoyo-chan tell you I was going to be here soon?"

"I told them you were coming, but Kero and Syaoran just had to get into an argument," Tomoyo responded, filling Sakura in on what had just happened.

"Hoe!"

**Author's Note:**Best review goes to Maire (again?!)!!!Thanks for the insight, I'm glad it's playing out how I thought it would!Never know, since my mind is sort of caught up in fantasy!I'm off next week for finals and etc.Please review and I'll try to release a huge chunk!(a short omake may be done for this part…) ^^;;

_The_ Omake **2** (the tale of two drunks)

**WARNING:** This _DOES_ make SEXUAL INNUENDOS, so if you can't handle it don't read it.The author takes no responsibility for the "damage" reading this may do to a young, innocent mind.This is just for the FUN and a new insight of what happens when the characters are allowed to be **_FREE_** from the Author's guidance…

Production of the i of Yih, in cooperation of Y and h of Yih.

Thank you for reading this mad prop!

© May 2001 Youth imagination hope of Yih.

All rights are reserved by Yih.

[CURTAIN RISES.]

"_HERE_! Have another shot… of Vodka!" exclaimed Faa with a hiccup.

Dangyun stared at her with amazement before sneering, "you horrid, **horrid** little witch!"He then burst out laughing at her flushed, chagrin face before easing the brute force of the words he had just spoken, "I LOVE IT!"

"Hai or lie?" she inquired, holding the bottle of vodka up closer to him.

"You've never seen my drunk have you?" he asked softly, his eyes _incredibly_ intense as it moved over her **lush** body.

"Lie," she admitted truthfully.

"You should… ask Siwan some time," he **murmured** huskily.

"So… what _happens_?"

He seemed momentarily taken back, as if he had said something he shouldn't have.The expression on his face was of the utmost _soberness_, usually seen in serious meditation.Suddenly, a force overtook that expression, twisting it into a terribly WACKY expression.He shouted, "I get **hard**!"

"Hard?" she asked questioningly."What?!You **_hentai_**!"

"_Hime_?" he asked in a silky voice like the caress of velvety rose _petals_."Do you really think so?" his voice STRANGELY heartbroken.

"Hai, hentai!" she replied cheerfully.

"I'm such a dick," he respondedly morosely.

"You're my dicky!" she cried out, licking the **fire** drops from her lips.

His beautifully arched eyebrows rose up, and he moved closer to her.Bending down over her, his tongue **smoothly** licked the _soft_, exquisiteness of:

The neck of the **_bottle_**!

Faa made a _choking_ noise in her throat as she watched his elegant lips grip the bottle and lift it from her grasp.He guzzled down what was left of the amber liquid.

"Disappointed?" 

"**NANI**!That was all I had left!" she exclaimed in an anguish.

"Too bad," he said sympathetically."It wasn't enough to get me (^) **up**."

[CURTAIN FALLS.]

Siwan appears out of the blue and exclaims in confidence to the audience, "pardon his **crudeness**, readers, he gets that way when… he's been _deprived_ of his love one!"

_The _Omake **2** End

Note: Please review again if YOU can to tell me if I should keep doing FUN OMAKES @ the end… (I know signed reviews can't review again, oh well ^_^;;).I think this may be too extreme for some of you, just enjoy it though!

Visit my website to learn about my two favorite mangas: [http://tamishii.fws1.com][1]

   [1]: http://tamishii.fws1.com/



	12. Inward Confliction

Part 12

Title:**Reminiscent (12)**

Author:Yih

Written:May 24, 2001 

Dedication:To the following Reviewers- vanilla bunny, Sherry, Ana, Kloud, OneWeirdMoNkEy!, Empress Sarah-sama, aurora manda, Lullaby, sana, Sakura1301, sakuraneko, angelwings2001, Maire, DragnBlak251, Sailor Event Horizon, Akira, GoddessSakura, dreamyblue, obiwankatie, Gia, ~*~Cutie Blossom~*~, ~*Manda-chan*~, and ashley-chan!

Disclaimer:All rights are Clamp except for ACC- Dangyun, Faa, Touya, Siwan, and Shaolin.(eek!Long list!)

**REVIEW! Or I swear… I don't have to post anymore, it's not like I don't have a full time job this summer! READ BELOW!******

Visit my website to learn about my two favorite mangas: [http://tamishii.fws1.com][1] and where you can read an original manga script!

Part 12

It didn't take Shaolin and Syaoran very long to figure out something was wrong with Sakura.It wasn't only in the physical sense.Though, her cheeks were not flushed with the vibrant energy she usually exhibited.Instead, they were strangely pale.Her eyes were still rimmed from the remnants of her tears.And Shaolin saw that Sakura and Eriol were holding hands.The rage that went through him banished all other thoughts.He didn't even notice that she was also holding onto her onii-chan's head.

Syaoran felt an unmistakable sadness surrounding Sakura.He could feel it, just as he could always feel her presence.He always knew where to find her.It didn't matter where she was or what she was doing.He could always feel the strength of her aura.He wondered what had caused this.He wanted to go to her and ask her.But he hesitated, not quite sure what had caused this sorrow.He needed to find out before plunging into uncharted territory.He absolutely was sure he didn't want to make a fool of himself in front of Shaolin.

"What's wrong, Sakura?"His voice had a warm timber in it that caused a shaky smile on her lips.

The anger in Shaolin surged when he saw Sakura glance up at Eriol with a meaningful look.There's something going on that I don't like, he thought bitterly.I knew that he never got over the fact that she doesn't love him.Now, he's trying to steal her away from my back!Not only my back, but our back's!She's not yours!She was never yours!She's not even mine anymore…

Eriol coughed as he caught her drift.She wanted him to explain what happened earlier today.He cleared his throat and said, "Dangyun is here."

"Are you sure?" asked Tomoyo worriedly.

"Yes," he answered gravely."Because he was right under our noses all this time."

"What?!" exclaimed Syaoran and Kero at the same time.

"Dangyun was 'Tooya' in disguise.Even though I didn't meet him, I should have been able to feel his vibe before he obvious sent me his sign.I didn't find him; he found me," muttered Eriol under his breath."I probably couldn't find him if he didn't want to be found now.I'm not at full strength anymore.If I had--if I had known this would happen I would have never split my soul into two."

"But I understand why you did it," Sakura murmured comfortingly."You did it for love.And no one can blame you for that."

"Not even you?" he asked hoarsely.

"Not even me."

"Could someone please tell me what is going on?" Kero inquired loudly.

"Sakura knows I loved her," Eriol said painfully.

The silence that filled the news with the information was deathly.Touya had a look of extreme annoyance at all of the boys he had to protect Sakura from.Yukito was even more confused than before, and he only wanted to be hugged by Touya.Syaoran's mind was whirling with this latest bit of information, knowing full well he had suspected of such a thing.Tomoyo wasn't at all surprised; she had known from the very beginning Eriol had an eye for Sakura.She just hadn't known how deeply he felt it.Kero, of course, knew that Clow Reed had been in love with Faa; he just had thought Clow had gotten over it.And Shaolin was shaking in fury.He had known his onii-chan had never really given up his feelings for Faa!

"I never thought my own onii-chan would betray me," Shaolin said resentfully.

"You're wrong," Eriol stated quietly."I know you two belong together.But that's only because--nevermind.I would never try to stop your relationship with her."

"Now, that's a BIG change.Why did you change your mind?" Shaolin inquired with a sharp sarcasm."Or maybe you think this show will win her?"

"This isn't a show!" cried out Eriol."And we should be concentrating on what's important!Dangyun is here!And I just hope that the 'shifting between times' caused enough of a dent in his strength that he won't be at his best.If he is, it will be almost impossible to beat him."

"You are just trying to avoid this conversation," Shaolin replied."I always knew you resented my relationship with Faa.I never really knew why.Why don't you tell me, onii-chan?Have you suddenly made up for it, by gifting this new me?Why do I suddenly have 'magical powers' in this lifetime?Was this because of your guilt?Because you couldn't live with it?"

"What guilt?" queried Syaoran, interrupting the heated conversation.

"I suppose you wouldn't know would you?" Shaolin questioned with a wry smile."Well, while I was chasing off after Dangyun, my onii-chan was in his 'magical rooms.'He knew what was going on.But he didn't stop it.Maybe he thought that Dangyun would just let her come back to me.But he didn't, did he, my dear onii-chan?No, he killed her.And I don't think he felt the least bit sorry or even pained that he killed her.He did it like a person without a soul.And a person without a soul doesn't deserve to live."

"YOU'RE WRONG!" cried out Sakura."He has a soul.He has a soul!"Tears spilled down her face as she broke away from Eriol's comforting hold.She had tried to listen to the conversation with an unfeeling heart.But she couldn't.She wasn't like that.If anything, she felt too deeply."I don't understand.I don't understand!"Sakura wept openly.

Shaolin tried to go to her, but Eriol block his way.Instead, Syaoran reached her first, though he was farther from her.He held her in his arms as she cried.He whispered tender endearments into her ears as her tears wracked her body.She sobbed in a broken voice.She babbled stuff that he couldn't make sense of.But he listened, and he held her.

"Why didn't you let me comfort her?" asked Shaolin angrily.

"Because it's not right," Eriol answered wearily."My past self, Clow Reed, made a mistake by allowing you forward!I was a fool back then!Even though I was stronger back then, I wasn't any smarter than I am now!I don't have all the solutions, and I certainly can't predict the future!I thought everything would be perfect this time.But nothing ever seems to turn out right does it?And I made the biggest mistake of that lifetime by allowing you to come here.You can't lover her here!You can only mourn her there!"

"But it doesn't change the way I feel!" Shaolin said anguishly."NOTHING will ever change the way I feel for her--for Sakura!"

"I caused all this," Sakura said in a small voice, shuddering against Syaoran's warmth."I caused all this pain."

"Don't ever say that!" Syaoran declared hotly."You could never do anything to hurt anyone."

"Then, how can you explain all this heartache?" 

Syaoran smiled easily."Is it a crime to be loved by so many?" he countered.

"No," she whispered against his chest."It's not a crime, but to cause so much pain… that is something I never wished to do."

"You can't stop someone from loving you," Eriol said calmly."I never regretted loving you.And besides, if you've never felt pain, Sakura--how do you know you've ever been in love?"

"My love, I don't have anything but good memories of you," Shaolin told her, trying to smile beneath the internal grief.

"It's the same way I feel," Eriol murmured in agreement with Shaolin, nodding his head respectfully."You should never blame yourself.You were the only one innocent in this whole mess."

"But how do you know that?" she asked with a trembling voice."Were you there the moment before Shaolin got there?I must have done something awful to cause him to want to kill me.I must have done something unforgivable.He loved me.Dangyun loved me--still loves me.So what did I do to make him kill me?"

"I always wanted to know that myself," Eriol responded honestly."I doubt that he would ever answer that question."

"Why is that?" Tomoyo queried.

"Because I don't think he knows why he did it, himself."

"I've had enough of this complex love triangle--hexagon--pentagon--octagon how many of you are there exactly?" Touya grumbled the question.

"Let's see," Yukito began."There's Syaoran, of course.Then, there's Shaolin, Syaoran's past self.Next, is Eriol.And lastly, Dangyun.That makes it a square?Rhombus?Parallelogram!?Oh, how would you say it?" Yukito muttered with a tragic tone.

"I think you need to catch up on your geometry, Yuki," said Touya warmly, glancing down at Yukito who had pounced into his arms during the grave conversation.

"I think we need to figure out what to do about Dangyun," Tomoyo declared pointedly."If he's as powerful as Eriol says he is, we're going to need all the luck and talent that we have here!So why don't we get to work?"

Everyone nodded in agreement."That's a good idea," Eriol replied.

Sakura smiled at her best friend.She's always there to straighten out whatever mess I get into, Sakura thought.But, how can I tell everything that I don't want to fight him?I don't think it's about the will or the strength to do it… I just don't want to.Because--because… I don't know.I have to, but something inside of me says that I won't be able to do it.And my intuition is almost never wrong.

"Are you okay, Sakura?" asked Syaoran with concern.

"I'm great!" she exclaimed with pretend excitement."Let's brainstorm!"

He watched her jumped from his arms and lead the group upstairs to her bedroom.He followed her silently, noting that the false cheerfulness didn't disguise the slight quiver in her voice.She was scared of something.And he wanted to find out.He would get to the bottom of this.He would protect her no matter what the costs. He couldn't stand to see her get hurt in any fashion.

I love you, Sakura.You never have to be scared of anything if I'm around.I'll protect you until my last drop of blood falls from my veins.I won't stop until I'm dead.I hope you know that, he thought wistfully.I hope you know I'd die to protect you.I want you to know that my life has no meaning without you.I never knew pure love until I met you.It's your greatest gift, Sakura, and your greatest strength.The power of your love… could defeat anything.And if it can't… I'll be there to make things right.Aishiteru, Sakura.I always will.

**Author's Note:**Tell me if you like the limbo?Puh-leez?

Best Reviewer: **Maire**!AGAIN!GIRL, your insight is AMAZING!I can't say enough how it has helped me by motivating me!A writer likes nothing better than to know that what she writes promotes some turn of thoughts!(huggies)Thanks!

When Everything Defeats What's Ultimate (the limbo in my life)

Scene 1: I'm screaming with excitement, SCHOOL'S **finally** over!(Yup, yup, very very good day.More time to do fun _fun_ things!)

Yih: (slam my locker open, throwing the rest of my books into my bag) I'm so glad school's out!

C-bin: (walks up to me) Heard about _Statistics_? 

Yih: (closes my locker) Eh?

C-bin: He's graded them already.

Yih: Oh?

C-bin:Class average was 27 right out of 39.

Yih:**EEEK**!!!

C-bin:I got 28 right.

Yih:Good for you!Knowing me… eh pretty pretty bad!

Scene 2: The Stick walks up.

Stick:I'm ready for Summer!

Yih: (sarcasm drips from my voice) I was too, but… (points to C-bin)Mister Man just ruined it for me.(turns to him)I REALLY REALLY didn't need to know this.

C-bin: Hey!I'm not the one that got 34 right!

Stick:It was the Genius' score, right?

Yih: THAT MEANS **_CURVE_**!

C-bin: (smiles) Yup.

Yih: But, DAMN him!It won't be _enough_… (dramatic sigh)

Stick: Probably not.

C-bin: (pushes me) Go check your score!He's in the room right now!Go **check** your score!

Yih: I dun wanna!

Stick:I'll go if someone goes with me.

Yih: (huge intake of breath) I'll go with you then.

C-bin: (sooooo happy _expression_) Yaya!

Scene 3: C-bin opens the door to the determination factor room.

Stick: You go in first.

Yih: No, you go!

C-bin: Someone go in!

Yih: Fine! (I walk in.)

Mr. K: So you want to know your grade?

Yih: Yes, we both do. (shrugging toward the Stick.)

Mr. K: Do you want me to say your score outloud?

Yih: Uh… Uh… Better show me _privately_.

Mr. K: Okay.(shows me the score.)

Yih: (huge sigh of relief).Not too bad.

Stick: You can show me my score.(He looks at it and doesn't seem to upset.)

Yih: (walking out.) How did you do?

Stick: 31.You?

Yih: **30**.

C-bin: Well, how did you guys do?  
Yih: He got a 31; I got a 30.

C-bin: (face faults) Ugh**_!?_**

To Be Continued… 

A production of the h in Yih, in cooperation with Y and i in Yih.

All rights reserved 2001 Yih.

The following characters: **C-bin**, Stick, and the _Genius_ have been renamed to protect their identity.All words have been changed to fit with the "humor" of the _limbo_.All events have occurred in the author's life.Thanks for reading and please let me know if you enjoyed it.

   [1]: http://tamishii.fws1.com/



	13. Unanswered Why's

Title: Reminiscent (13)

Title:**Reminiscent (13)**

Author:Yih

Written:May 2001

Dedication: To my most **motivating** Reviewers- Maire, Manda-chan, OneWeirdMoNkEy!, C-chan, and Akira!

Disclaimer:All rights are exclusively Clamp, except ACC- Siwan, Dangyun, Faa, Tooya, and Ji-Li.

**Review or ELSE! **(it's really disappointing to see how many people like it enough to be on their favorites and not nearly as many review!)

Part 13

"I have told you what happened," Dangyun said bitterly."What do you think of me now?"

He sat down heavily on a pillow cushion on the wooden floor ready for her disgust.He looked up at her expectantly, waiting for her to say what he expected.He knew she was going to condemn him, how could she not?He had killed a part of her, the closest thing to a mother that she had ever had.He didn't think she'd ever look at him in quite the same light as she always had before, that youthful trusting and unconditional love a child has for a parent.

Siwan flew to him, with her silvery wings tinted with a soft blue hue."I cannot judge you," she told him, resting her baby soft cheek against his."I cannot judge you," she repeated to him, "I am not the one to ask for judgement.You must go to her.She's the one you must ask for what you are looking for.Only she can be the one that can judge you.Not me.I can't give you an answer to something I don't understand."

"She must hate me, and you must hate me as well," Dangyun murmured harshly without much thought.

"For both statements, I must sadly tell you you are deeply mistaken.I know I don't hate you, and I'm sure she doesn't hate you," Siwan replied genuinely"Because love is not easily dismissed, Dangyun.No matter how hard you've tried to fight it, if it's true love that you feel, you'll always feel it deep inside.And I know that you aren't the type of person to let love go just like that," she demonstrated by snapping her minature size fingers, "you're the type that every woman would want.You love someone so deeply that it hurts to be apart from her.And she's the same as you.You are one and the same."

"Not anymore," he retorted quickly."Not anymore."

"I'll be the judge of that," she answered him smartly.

"I thought you said you weren't going to be the judge," he teased back in only a half serious voice.

"You can be very aggravating at times, Dangyun," Siwan muttered beneath her teeth."I really don't know why I adore you as much as I do.You can really frustrate a girl!No wonder Faa doesn't feel for you anymore!"

He smiled at the tone of her joking voice."And you, my lovely guardian, can be so charming that it kills," he said with aching sincerity."I can only think of one person I love more than you, Siwan.And that's only because she got here first," touching his hand on the place on his chest nearest to his heart.

"I know," Siwan replied with a dramatic sigh."It's a drag to be second best."

"I think you are getting the hang of this century's linguistics, already.And you certainly didn't get it from me," he said pointedly, but gave up pressing it further when she threw him a glaring look."And, I didn't know you were jealous of Faa."

"Not jealous, never jealous," Siwan mumbled, yawning like a baby."I could never be jealous of her.Or envious.She's the closest thing to heaven that I'll ever get to."

"Even with those wings of yours?" Dangyun whispered, the joy from his youth resurfacing with a passion.

"So you've gotten out of that horrible mood, you've been in," she noted."I'm glad; I didn't realize what a big, old, grumpy bear you could be when you really tried to be one.I think I may have loved you a little less in that phase, though I still loved you.I guess I really do feel love then, even though I'm magical?I still have feelings like a real human, don't I?Or is this all made up sensations?"

"No," he answered, "you're as real as me.If anything, I wish every single human was like you, little one.I never thought it was possible," he said with wonder, glancing down at his hands, "to create perfection ever in this world.And you are it.You are perfect, the perfect living creature.Beautiful, radiant, loving, caring, teasing, sweet, witty, adorable, and fabulously you."

Siwan blushed to the roots her hair, and shook her head in the cutish way possible that it wasn't true.She wasn't all those marvelous compliments, though she might be one or two of them."I think you're speaking of her.You always had a way with words, Dangyun, when you cared to get your head out of the books."

"Faa?" he said her name with the very being in him."I was never so confident around her as I am around you.She was everything I wanted, and she saw the worst of me in the years before I knew how lucky I was.She saw my horrible anger, my seething frustrations, and worst of all, she saw my dark side."

"None of it is as bad as you think it is," Siwan told him wisely, suddenly speaking in a much more mature voice."Your anger was merely something you hadn't learn how to control yet.The frustrations weren't as bad as you said they were.Every magician has felt some of it, if not worse than yours.And your dark side, it was merely curiosity of the other 'side' of magic.It wasn't wrong, and you were well within control of it."

"That was the worse part, it was because I was in control that I went so down, so deep, and lost myself in it when she left.When she left, I think I died then," he murmured."And now, I think I'm starting to live in this new lifetime for this second chance.Do you think I can succeed and receive her forgiveness, Siwan?Do you think she still loves me?"

"I know she still loves you," Siwan replied softly."How can she not?You two were made for each other.It's only time you've come to realize it."

"She loves another in this dimension," he threw at Siwan.

"And she loved Clow in the last," Siwan remarked, "so what?"

"You knew about Clow?" Dangyun queried."And she loved him back?"

Siwan giggled lightly, a laugh so sweet it was lyrical."It's not as you think.Always jealous, aren't you?And you accuse me of being jealous!But, yes, she did love him in return, but not the same love she has for you.If I'm right, it may be the same love she has for this 'new' man in her life, whoever he is.You can't blame Faa for her over generous personality.She was a giver, not a taker.She'd give her love to everyone in the world if she was able to, but she's not and that's the only reason she hasn't."

"Yes," he whispered reverantly, "she was like that.I knew she was special when I first saw her.I never did tell you how I first met her, did I?"

Siwan shook her head."No, but tell me now.It can be my bedtime story."She yawned again for the added effect of persuasion.

"Okay, but you must go to bed right away after I'm done telling it, agreed?" 

"Agreed."

"It's one of my most vivid childhood memories.I remember my mother telling me to 'be polite, be polite to your auntie.'She told me that this was their only child after trying for many years to conceive one.I didn't really understood what she was talking about, being only eight years old at the time.But I knew where we were going, it was important if she was making me wear my hat.Usually I wore them for festivals, so I was expecting great sweets and perhaps a toy.She reminded me once more time before we entered the great big house to 'be nice.'

"I was quite disappointed when I entered the heavy wooden gates to find no celebration going on.The silence was eery, and for a moment I wondered if I was at the unbearable ceremony many younger boys had told me about.But I tried to sense the presense of a ghost and felt none, so I knew it wasn't that event.I did feel something unusual, and I couldn't help but tug my mother to the most extravagant building.Little did I know, I was moving toward the direction she wanted to go.She didn't understand why I was pulling in that way, and when she asked me why, I was foolish enough to tell her, 'I feel an aura mama.'

"She told me, that I was too young to feel something like that.I knew I felt it though.I felt it deep inside of me.It was like sudden recognition.And now I know what it was, the meeting of two halves finally feeling each other for the first time in centuries.It was probably for that reason I was able to distinguish it as an aura, though my magical training had been only the most basics of things.I had just begun learning about auras when we had left to attend this, so naturally my mother wouldn't have believed me.

"She reminded me once more to 'be polite. Be kind.Be good.'And somehow she didn't need to tell me to be gentle when Lady Chang came over with the baby.It was then I used the little knowledge I had on seeking out auras and found the baby's to be a snowy white, unusual in it's luminous light.It was a wonder the others didn't sense it.The power was extremely strong in one so newly born.It was pulsing with life and joy and love.

"I tried again to tell my mother she had an aura.She denied it to me in my face, and I didn't pursue it any longer.I knew when to give up.The sting of defeat made my face sullen, and it was when I was bending my head down that I met her green eyes.I knew I'd never be alone ever again.I'd found a true friend in her.She then raised up her tiny baby fists into the air, trying to grab something, but not exactly getting there.I knew what she wanted. I asked my auntie, 'can I hold her?'

"I thought she'd deny my request; my mother intervene and told her I was a careful boy.And so she let me hold her.I got a weird feeling of euphoria as I held her in my arms for the first time.I don't think I've ever let go since.I don't think I could even if I wanted to." 

"More," Siwan requested, her eyes drooping to half mast.

"Sweet dreams, little one."

**Author's Note**:If you don't make the effort to review something you enjoy reading, then why do you even make the effort to read it?Anyways, I'm still excited about this fanfic thanks to my "motivating" reviewers!I think almost all of them have reviewed from the very beginning and C-chan went on a roll a few days ago!Your comments really make me want to write this fanfic to the best possible "degree" and I've tried my very best to deliver my best.Thanks for reading and I owe you 5 a lot for you indepth analyzation which make me realize my "complexity" is appreciated in the CCS fandom.Enjoy!(also I'm mostly back on a weekly schedule for the meanwhile).

P.S. Does anyone have good chapter names for any of the chapters?(I've named the first 3, do you like them?)


	14. Rekindled Memories

Part 14

Title:**Reminiscent (14)**

Author:Yih

Written:June 9, 2001

Dedication:To all that suffered during the tropical storm Allison (god bless you!)

Disclaimer:All rights are reserved by Clamp, except ACC- Faa, Siwan, Dangyun, Tooya, and Shaolin.

Please review, it means so much to me!It takes but a minute to review & hours to write this fanfic!

View my website at: [http://tamishii.fws1.com][1]!The Limbo of My Life, Part 2 (below!)

Part 14

"Faa," began the beautiful Clow, "you must leave Dangyun.You know you have to," he said with such a heavy voice of retrospection."It's the only thing I can think of that is of a great enough consequence to rip him away from delving further into the dark arts.Didn't that last spell scare you?He revels in the dark powers, and I think you're the only thing that he wants badly enough to stop doing what he's doing.You know it's wrong, Faa-chan."

"I know," she whispered sorrowfully."But what if I'm not strong enough?"

"You have to be strong.You mustn't go back to him until he agrees to burn everything having to deal with black magic.The path he's leading is wrong, he's one of the strongest practioners of white magic that I know, and he could be the best," Clow murmured with a slight awe in his voice.

"Even better than you?" she inquired unsteadily.

"Even better than me," he told her gravely.

"But," she started, then paused to give her some time to form the right words, "it's unbearable for me to be away from him. I know you mean well; it's just so hard for me not to be there for him.I know he isn't evil, Clow-kun.He's just misguided.He has this insatiable curiosity and wants to be the best at everything.Is that so wrong, Clow-kun?To want to fulfill your potential?"

"No," he answered honestly."But why do it the wrong way?"

"I don't know why," she responded, almost near tears.

"You understand him better than anyone I know," he said reverently, while gathering her up into his arms.He wanted, he needed to comfort her in this moment of pain and uncertainty.He wondered if his best friend knew how much he was tearing Faa up inside by not doing as she ask and quitting black magic.Didn't Dangyun understand that Faa was pure good and if he was corrupted with the stain of darkness, that it could very well destroy her?

He had never known someone with such a pure heart and such a giver of love.Didn't Dangyun see what he had in her?Didn't he know what a treasure she was in this in all the lifetimes that Dangyun might have?How could he not know that Faa was the most precious of human beings in the universe?He felt a wetness on the hollow of his throat and wanted to pound some sense into his best friend.How he could hurt her, he didn't know.

"He has so much to lose," he said hoarsely, his voice envious.Dangyun had everything, the magical aura to command both light and dark magic.And he had the most wondrous girl of all.Yet still he wasn't satisfied, still he yearned for more.Clow was almost as jealous of Faa because she had grown closer to Dangyun than he ever could as he was envious of Dangyun.

"Yes, he does," she answered."You're his best friend."

He wanted to break out laughing, manically.How could Dangyun not know what he had in her?Not only was she a gorgeously beautiful person outside, but also inside!She didn't even see her own exquisiteness!She saw good in every person, or at least tried to.Even though he was reputed to be the kinder magician, he wondered how much different he really was from Dangyun.Maybe the only reason he hadn't tried black magic was because he'd knew he would fail where Dangyun had succeeded.

"He wants you more," he finally replied, knowing she needed conversation to take her mind off the difficult task she would have to do.And suddenly, he felt like he needed to confess to her what he felt."And he's not the only one, you know.I feel the same for you as he does."

"I had a feeling you did," she answered with a miserable voice.She had thought that he was infatuated with her newfound beauty.She knew she was a late boomer because her mother had told her the whole family was like that.She just hadn't expected anything quite like this sudden and remarkable transformation into a beauty.She was now pretty.It was only lately she had noticed Clow making eyes at her new face and she thought it would just fade when the newness became drabness.

"And what do you think of my feelings?" he asked, knowing he'd probably feel horrible afterwards.He was proud of himself that he managed to keep his voice so calm and unconcerned of what her crushing answer might be.

"I think it's only because of the startling metamorphosis I've gone through," she stated plainly.

"Then, you seriously underestimate yourself, Faa-chan," Clow told her gently, still holding her close against his well-muscled chest."I've felt this way for a very long time."

Of all possible replies, she hadn't been expecting this.She searched her memories for any evidence of what he said might be true, and she found that all that he said could be true.She wondered if she had been blinded by her adulation of Dangyun all this time to not see such clear devotion.She must have caused him pain, and her heart ached all the more.She had never wanted to hurt anyone.

The tears streamed down her face all the more rapidly, heavily like a storm manifesting itself from a hidden pause.She saw clearly now that he had always been very kind and attentive to her when Dangyun was occupied with his spell-casting.When Dangyun wasn't around, it was Clow that had kept her amused.When Dangyun had pushed her away because he was more like her brother then than now, Clow had comforted her and offered her a bit of sweets.

She stared up into his eyes and broke away from his grasp."I never knew," she cried out with anguish."I never knew."

Clow had a pained expression in the usual warmth of his eyes.He reached for her, to try and console her, but let his arm fall limply to his side.She needed a strength from within her, that he didn't know if she had inside of her.He never ever wished to hurt her, but he had done exactly that.And worse, he had torn her from her true love.He wanted to ask for her forgiveness, but knew this wasn't the time.

"I know you don't feel as I do about you," he blurted out."But it doesn't matter, Faa.It doesn't matter.I only want you to be happy.I only wish for you to be happy, and that will be enough for me!"

Her lush lips trembled, her body shivered, and she closed her eyes.She seemed to gather herself within her, and seek some place he couldn't follow.It was then that he knew, she had all the strength in the world resting in her heart.And when she opened her eyes, her tears had dried, and she no longer was shaking.Her gaze was so steady, he felt as if she could see into his soul.

"I'll do it, if you really think it will succeed."

It was minutes after she said it, that the reality came crashing down, and he realized what she was talking about.She wasn't as strong as he hoped she would be.She wasn't perfect; she was only human.And he loved her only more for that.And like any human, anything that was too difficult to take now, had to put behind or beside them and ignore it until the day of when they might meet the challenge face on.

"Yes, I do."

Sakura bolted straight up from the bed, knocking the teddy bear that Syaoran had given her to the ground.She stared solemnly around the room before she broke down into a silent sort of sobbing, the quiet crying of a person in such extreme pain that the noise only adds to it.She didn't want to believe all that her past self had dealt with.And she knew it was no dream, it wasn't a foretelling as much as it was information that she needed.She couldn't help but cry.

She felt how much Clow loved her, felt his thoughts and her own, as if she was there in the minds of two of them.How she wanted to change what had happened then!What had made Dangyun so evil or was it because he wasn't evil that it hurt to think of him?It was dangerous, what she felt for him, she realized.It was confusing, what she felt for Clow--Eriol.And she did feel something for him.

I can almost understand, Faa!I can almost grasp at the missing piece of what happened!But I need more information, more memories!How can I gather something from so long ago?Tell me how I can find all the memories that are trapped in this eternal soul of mine?I know you sent this dream to me.You've been trying to help me all this time.You want something to be discovered, but what is it, Faa-chan?What is it that has been the missing puzzle to this mystery?What is it that has caused all this misery to so many good men?Is it me?

"Sakura!" exclaimed Syaoran as he entered the room, Kero and company peering in from behind before he slammed the door in their faces."Are you okay?" he asked gently."I heard you crying, and you can't deny it," he remarked with a wavering voice, "you've got tear streaks."

"Yes, I've been crying," she answered honestly.

"Did you have a dream?" he inquired as he gathered her into his arms, much like Clow.

"Yes," she replied."But it wasn't really a dream."

"Tell me about it," he urged."Maybe it will help to defeat Dangyun."

"It wasn't about that," she stated, not wanting to hear anything about hurting Dangyun."It was more of a scene from the depths of my memories.And I can't really remember it," she continued, a look of hard thinking passing over her face."I need more time to think of what I can remember.Can I be left alone for a few minutes?I need to have some time to gather myself."

"Sure," Syaoran said reluctantly.He brushed a kiss on her lips before releasing her to what she needed to do."I'll be outside your door if you need me," he reminded her.

"I know," she replied with a beautiful smile."I know."

He nodded and opened the door softly and glared at the heads wanting to see if Sakura is okay."She wants some time to think, so just go eat breakfast!" he growled to the crowd."She said she's fine, she just wants to be alone right now, okay?"

Sakura sighed as she crossed her legs, Indian style and felt her lips tremble.Her body began to shiver, and she closed her eyes knowingly.She searched within herself for the strength that Clow had said he thought she had in her, but didn't.Did she have it now?She thought carefully of all that she had ever known, all her childhood memories, all the card capturing days, and the new memories that had opened up.

He's right, she thought. I don't have the strength to do whatever he thought I could do.I'm not strong enough.But could I defeat Dangyun, even I had the strength?How can I kill someone that I feel such a deep connection to?And now, I don't even know if I can honestly say to Syaoran that he's the only one that has my heart.Clow, Dangyun, Shaolin, Eriol, Syaoran--how much pain must I cause before it's all solved?And at least four of them will be hurt by me, again.

How did Faa deal with such a burden?She's so much like me; she never wanted to hurt anybody.I don't want to hurt anyone; I never want to cause anyone pain.But how can I avoid it?I've got to choose; and I have to fight him and risk everything.It would have been better if he just killed me.Quick and swift, it would be easier to die and disappoint all of them.

It was with that thought that she felt a rush of such speed whirl around her, air blowing such a power, such a strength of will that she knew it had to be Faa.She tried to concentrate on what it might be telling her and the only thing that she could think of was: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!

"I need a clearer answer," she answered the wind--Faa."I need a clearer answer," she cried out."I need some clarity!"

"Sakura, are you okay?" she heard three voices ask her--Syaoran, Eriol, and Shaolin.

"Please," she begged going down to her knees, despite the wind's--Faa's protestions, "I can't do this."

You can, and you will.

Sakura was left with that thought and a short push, gentle and encouraging.She wondered if it was her positive thinking that had thought that or was it Faa's or something beyond even what she could hope for?She didn't know if she could succeed; she knew she couldn't hurt Dangyun, she dreaded to even think she had to.And she certainly didn't know how to solve it except for the inevitable, she would have to fight him.

A soft, gentle knocking rapped on her door, she called out, "you guys might as well come in."

She was surprised to see only Eriol walk in with an ancient looking scroll in his hands.Before she could ask him what it was, he answered for her."It's a missive, from Dangyun.I'm surprised he's taking everything from the traditionalist's perspective.But nevertheless, he's sent it, and you can't refuse it.He said to meet at the Penguin's Park at 6:00.It's when his dark magic is the strongest, evening.

"This will be your longest, hardest, most challenging battle, Sakura.I hope you know that whatever happens, you must never give up or give in.Even though he isn't a bad person nor is he evil, it's his fault if anything happens to him.Just fight, and everything you've ever wanted, you will have.You've made your choice clear enough," he said, the smile appearing on his face distinctly sad."Now, you've just got to keep it that way, and have no regrets."

She bent her head, wondering what she would do if what she wanted was really the one thing she couldn't have.

**Author's Note:**Please review, you don't know **_how_** much reviews mean to me.All writers like to know **_what_** their readers think.It's our lifeline, if you wish to call it.This is out late (first off) because I was tired Friday, and it wasn't out Saturday (secondly) because the storm Allison hit the Houston area (Harris County) particularly hard, flooding most of the area around where I live.And because of that, I was watching the news and just exclaiming with my mom over the "flood of the lifetime."It's pretty terrible; I'm just glad it didn't flood badly in my neighborhood (it totally swamped highways, houses, business: we saw a gas sign and no gas station!)We basically got 28 inches of rain dumped on us, and my neighborhood was the "dry" area.Without much ado I present the omake!

My Sincerest Surge of Joy (the limbo in my life)

Scene 1: Seeing that C-bin's online, must mean he's back from Chicago.

C-bin: (typing) I know my grade!I know my grade!

Yih:(t--) What?

C-bin: (t--) Math!Statistics!The **_horror_** class of my life!

Yih: (t--) How?

C-bin: (t--) I was sooooo worried I asked Ms. O.

Yih:(t--) How did you do then?

C-bin: (t--) 90.

Yih: (SCREAMING) Oh yeah, oh yeah (dances around the house, mum looks at me like the **freak** I am)Oh yeah, oh yeah!

C-bin: (t--) Are you there?

Yih: (settling down, sitting down)Yes.(happy grin plastered on my face)

C-bin:(t--) Guess what?

Yih:(t--) What?

C-bin: (t--) I got my SAT scores back.

Yih: (mumbles to myself) I know it… he's going to score higher than me.I know I know know it.

C-bin: (t--) They weren't that bad.

Yih: (t--) How did you do?

C-bin: (t--) _1430_.

Yih: (bangs my head against the wall)I knew I knew knew it!

C-bin: (t--) Are you okay?

Yih: (thinking) He didn't see me do that did he?(thinking again) He can't!I don't have a webcam!

Scene 2: Getting the mail a week later.Seeing the school: SBS on the from and panicking.I _rip_ open the envelope and scan the grades.

Yih: WOOOOOOOOHHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

RC: (reads) Statistics: Sem 2 Fin- 94!

Yih: (dances around, not caring the black and white **_polka_** dot dog is yapping at me)Yeah baby!Yeah baby!Yeah baby!Yeah baby!

RC: (reads) Statistics: Sem 2 Avg- _90_!

Yih: (calms down and walks back authoriatively to the door) Hey mum, guess what?

Mum: (pokes her head out of her room) I hate guessing.

Yih: (sighs, thinking: NO **_FUN_**!) You don't have to chop my head off.

Mum: (suspicious look)

Yih: (waves my **RC** in front of her face) Look! (points at the Statistics grade) I got a 90.

Mum: He must have given you a few points.

Yih: (groans)

Mum: You _made_ a B.

RC: (reads) Statistics: 4th 9 weeks- 85!

Yih: (points to the Statistics: Sem 2 Avg- 90!) That's more important!_GPA_, mum!

Mum: You still made a B!

Yih: (SD, glares at RC)

RC: (thinking) What did the **_fuck_** did I do?**__**

To Be Continued… 

A production of the h in Yih, in cooperation with Y and i in Yih.

All rights reserved 2001 Yih.

The following characters: **C-bin**, RC, and the _Mum_ have been renamed to protect their identity.All words have been changed to fit with the "humor" of the _limbo_.All events have occurred in the author's life.Thanks for reading and please let me know if you enjoyed it.

   [1]: http://tamishii.fws1.com/



	15. Growth of Hope

Title: Reminiscent (15)

Title:**Reminiscent (15)**

Author:Yih

Written:June 2001

Dedication:To all my loyal reviewers, thanks a bunch!

Disclaimer:All rights are Clamp, except ACC- Dangyun, Siwan, Shaolin, Faa, and Tooya.(I think I got them all!)

Visit my site at [_http://tamishi.fws1.com_][1] //Totally original story called: TRI-ANGLE coming up soon!

Chapter 15

"And so it has begun," Dangyun declared heavily to Siwan, who stood on his shoulder with an equally solemn expression.One of his hands moved up to offer her a perch in the resting place of his palm so that he could converse with her face to face.They stared at each other for a long time, contemplating what must be done.His eyes were dark and unholy, filled with a deep unsettling horror; her eyes were innocent to all that had happened with a look of uncontained melancholy.She ached for the grief that was so clearly on his mind.He was in pain over what was to come.There was no stopping the inevitable.

"You don't have to fight her," Siwan told him, quietly.Her soft luminous eyes clearly begging him not to fight the only mother she had ever known.It nearly worked, that simple, heartfelt look, but Dangyun was made of sterner stuff.She knew the minute he harden his resolve to what he set out what he intended to do."It doesn't have to end this way," she said softly and sadly, trying a last plea."It doesn't have to end this way."

"You believe I can end it again, kill her again?" he said harshly, his voice filled with such agony at her reasoning.Siwan didn't even know how he could have killed her the first time if he was in such pain as he obviously was now."What if she wins?What if she's the one that does the killing this time?Would that make things equal?Would that even the score?What if I don't fight her, and do the honorable thing and let her live happily with Shaolin's reincarnation?Would that make me a better person?"

"No," she declared with an aching gentleness.Her hand pressed a tiny indention into his face as a frown crossed her features."Because it was not meant to be that way," she responded, her words carrying a wisdom far beyond her childishly sweet voice."All that has happened, was meant to happen this way.There is nothing anyone can do to change it, and you were never meant to give in in such a way!You aren't like that.You're stronger than anyone knows, and it's not just about magic.

"You're strong because you love."

"Yes," Dangyun answered with a passionately bitter voice, "I am stronger than anyone knows!Because of my love, I'm the one that can hurt her more than anyone I know.I'm the one that has hurt her the most!Is that what you call my strong point?Is that what you call strength, Siwan?"

"No," she whispered, her face saddened, "that was simply a mistake.A mistake which you can make right if you tried."

"It's too late for that," he grimly determined."The past can't be changed, and I killed her.I don't know if I felt more sinister delight in giving her the unhappiness I felt when I saw her with him or if my disgusted remorse made me feel dead inside.All I feel is incredibly empty inside, now.I wouldn't mind to end it in the way that you think me incapable of."

"It's the coward's way out," Siwan murmured, staring him in the eye.

"No," he said softly, "it's the only path that's available.It isn't cowardly as much as it's heroic, don't you think?It gives her a peace of mind…"

"To know that you're dead?To know that the love of her life killed himself because he thought that was the right thing to do?" Siwan exclaimed, her voice wild with emotion."Do you think she wants that?Faa never wanted anyone to be hurt, and it doesn't matter what they did to her.She wants everybody to be happy, even if the penalty is her death.She'd take that resort if that was the only way to solve a problem!"

"I can't live with her with him, and I don't think I can kill her again," he responded, his dark eyes staring down at his hands as if they were stained with the undeniable mark of blood."It's the only way, I'm in pain just to think of her together with him.. and if they were united in marriage--I don't think I could stand it."

"You need to see her again," Siwan advised him, cutting his suicidal thoughts off."You've made it this far without killing yourself for what you've done to her.I think revenge has kept you going, but it's not as satisfying as you thought it would be, was it?Now all you wish for is for her to give you a reason to live or you will see through your threat to Shaolin, am I right?Because you have no choice?And if you can't do that you'll find the solution in your death?"

"She was my reason for breathing; she was my only reason for all that I had done," Dangyun whispered."I only wished she had understood.If only…"

"What?" Siwan inquired with an expression of surprise, giving her back the youthful charm she normally displayed when she wasn't trying to knock some sense into her master."What are you talking about?"

"If she had come to me with her requests, I would have given up the dark arts.She didn' tknow how much I loved her, I think, until I killed her.If only I had been clearer, if only I hadn't been so ridiculous in trying to be the best, to know the most about magic.But if I had known that my research in black magics had alarmed her, I know I would have quit.I hated making her unhappy.I just wanted her to love me for me, and not for who she thought I was.I'm not the greatest magician that ever lived, nor was I ever going to be--that honor was Clow's."

"What route will you choose for this battle?" she asked, switching easily to another topic for discussion."Elements, guardians, talismans, spells…"

Dangyun knew what she was referring to.Siwan wanted to know if she had to do any fighting against her beloved Faa--Sakura.This had to be one of the most painful moments in his life, thought it was way behind the act of killing his true love.He didn't know how he was able to do the deed.It was almost unthinkable now, but somehow he had done just that.Somehow he had killed her, and here he was trying to do it again

I can't be at peace knowing what I've done.But I can't be at peace knowing she's there, with another.And when I see her, in her new form, I fall more in love with her than ever before.Somehow, she's stronger, and is it because she now has magical powers?Does that make my attraction to her stronger than ever?I want to love her in a pure way, but I'm not sure how to.And so be it… FaaSakura, I haven't made my decision on what to do with you yet, but I know I can't kill you again, for the second time.I'll just have to make you love me the way I love you.

Because killing you last time, ripped my heart into shreds.I don't know how to show you that I care.I don't have pretty words, or a gruff affectionate nature.I'm who I am, Dangyun, a man who will always be driven with the curiosity of things that aren't right.Can you live with that?You loved me once when I was practicing the dark arts, can you love me now after I have killed you?But there's no option, it's my death or your love.And I want to make you love me.

I want to make you love me…

Deep in the soul, all consuming, with a fire that will never die.It only burns stronger in the face of adversary.And no matter what can't be extinguished.

"Dangyun?"

"I'm not sure, but I know I'm not going to kill her, Siwan," he answered, throwing her an apologetic smile for letting his thoughts run away with him.

"Then, what are you going to do?" she asked with a blooming curiosity.

"Why, make her love me of course," he repiled with an ease that belied his shaking hands.

"It's time, Sakura," Eriol told her with his solemn voice. "Dangyun is waiting for us at the Penguin Park. We should be on time," he smiled, remembering how she always late for school. How he wished those day were now, instead of the past! "Let's see what the terms are to this one on one battle between the two most powerful magicians I have ever had the pleasure of knowing in all of my lifetimes."   
"I can't beat him," she whispered to him raggedly. "I know I can't fight him. I can't do it, Eriol-kun. I just can't! It would be like fighting myself. He's so much a part of me that I can't stand to harm him. Do you understand where this is coming from? You have memories of the past, of when you were Clow Reed, you must have some knowledge of how difficult this is… how difficult it is to fight him."   
"Yes, I do know," Eriol replied with a roughness, a jerkiness to his tone, as if he didn't want to tell her this. "You two deserved to be together. I don't know if my past self knew this was going to happen or not because somehow all the memories of those thoughts have been blocked off, as if I believed I could escape this--this nightmare. But I can't, no one can. And this is the hardest for you, I do know that it's my fault that you died. I wasn't there to fight him because I was a coward, and I never believed he would go as far as to harm a hair on your head.   
"Dangyun loved you so much, too much even. Maybe that's why he killed you, and that's why he's here today. I don't want to tell you what to do, but I've never seen two people more in love with each other. I don't believe you loved Shaolin the way you love Dangyun, and you can't deny you still feel something for him. I can hear it in your voice, and see it in your eyes. You still love him; you still want to be the light in his darkness. And you are that."   
"But--what about you, Eriol?"   
He shivered inside to hear him say his name, his name! It was what he had always hoped for, just not in these circumstances. He had always wished, and he had gotten that wish. Now, he knew what he must do. "You loved me like you loved a brother," he responded calmly, comfortingly, knowing he would do anything for her and cherishing the love she did have for him. "I'm like family; after all, isn't a part of me your father?"   
Her eyes had started to have this wildness that subsided with the warmth of his words. He was glad to have been able to reassure her. He vowed to do everything to restore her peace of mind, and in everything, support her, just like a brother. "You never really loved Shaolin with a passion," he told her. He sensed a protest about to burst forth from her, and he explained, "I do know you love Syaoran with the tenderness of a lover." He saw her blush and a slow smile without a trace of sadness crossed his features, "this will be a hard choice, Sakura. You can't have both. They are too different, but so much alike… if you think about it."   
"Yes, they are similar," she murmured with wonder.   
"Both of them are stubborn as mules, and dashingly handsome. And if anything, both command a great deal of magic, their own special brand of it," Eriol said softly. "You don't need to worry about Shaolin's feelings. And I'll tell you why," when he saw a confusion in her eyes, "it's because while he did fall in love with you, and you did love him to a degree. I believe he only acted the way he did to get back at me. Though, he does love you; you were never meant to be his. You were suppose to be Dangyun's, and now, if you chose you could be Syaoran's. It's a tough decision that has to be made, Sakura-chan.   
"Now, it's about time we leave to meet Dangyun," he reminded her, calmly like he had been expecting this moment since the beginning of time and knew it was useless to try and escape it. "I know you'll make the right decision, Sakura. It doesn't matter if it's Dangyun or Syaoran, I'll support you either way. Because one was my best friend, and the other my younger brother. I can't tell you anything more than: just follow your heart, and it will lead you to your destine fate."   
Sakura had thought of all that he had just told her. The thoughts swirling in her head so fast she didn't know what she was going to do about all this information he had just imparted on her. She knew she had to thank him from the depths of her heart. He had made her decision easy without the hurt in having to reject him. In her soul, in her spirit she knew that the choice had always been between Syaoran and Dangyun.   
Before that, there was only Dangyun. And now, it should have been only Dangyun. If only the past hadn't been so wretched, she might have had the chance of a pure love, untainted with the thoughts of another man, dark and mysterious, whose soulmate she knew she had been before. And whose soulmate, she maybe still was and always meant to be.   
She didn't care if they all had to wait for minutes or hours still she gathered her thoughts, weighing the merits of Dangyun versus Syaoran. And in the end, after heavy deliberating, thoughts of the Dangyun and Syaoran, she knew she had come to no conclusion. She looked up, and met Eriol in the face and said, "I don't know."   
"No, I didn't think you'd be able to make that decision right now. But it's still time to see Dangyun for the fight of your life. Sooner or later, you're going to have to choose. This battle gives you time, Sakura. Don't let this fall into last minute's hands. Think of it, ponder it, and know it when the time is right. You know your heart better than anyone, let it decide for you and think nothing of it when the decision is made. Don't second guess your intuition, it's always the right choice when it comes to matters of the heart."   
"Who do you think I should be with?" she asked deliberately, putting him on the spot.   
"Me," he answered simply. "I think you should be with me."   
She smiled then, in the first time for days, with a radiance that was truly pure and without the weight of her burdens. It was a smile that could turn any man's heart, and to a man whose heart she already had, it just made him want her more. But he knew now, that it wasn't meant to be. And for the first time in his life, he was satisfied with being just loved in the unromantic way. That he knew was the right thing to do, and he gladly did it.

He wanted her to love him in the way she loved Dangyun and Syaoran.But he knew it wasn't to be.

**Author's Note:**I don't know why it's so late, I'll just blame it on the lack of reviews.Ja ne!

   [1]: http://tamishi.fws1.com/



	16. Doubts Set Afire

Title: Reminiscent (16)

Title: Reminiscent (16)

Author: Yih

Written: July 13+14, 2001

Dedication: To the reviewers that review consistently, I really really do appreciate and this is out a week earlier because I feel bad for making you wait even one more week.So please realize this series will now be biweekly because I'm moving and school is approaching and I am on the yearbook staff ^^;;.

Disclaimer:All rights are Gainax, except ACC- Dangyun, Siwan, Tooya, Shaolin, and Ji-li.

Part 16  
He heard the small gasp of surprise spring forth from Siwan's perfectly small mouth, a soft utterance of sound that was filled with more joy than he thought possible.Sakura had clearly arrived and was everything Siwan had expected, so beautiful--so unattainable.He ran a hand through his long, silky black hair, a wry smile gracing his well-formed lips.He was as nervous as a prospective groom, and if it were a situation that wasn't so serious, he might have laughed at these jittery nerves.It was crazy to feel this way.He didn't even know if she still felt the same way about him anymore.He wouldn't blame her if she didn't.He had committed the most horrible crim against her; he had killed her.But his mind mentally nagged him, remind him of the electricity of their touch before--at the park.The spark between them was still there.

"We're here, Dangyun," an all too familiar voice announced.

Dangyun turned around slowly to find a younger version of Clow Reed, staring at him with a mixture of emotions.He felt a surge of regret go through his body at the loss of their friendship, but an equal part of him hated this reincarnation of Clow from taking Faa away from him. Clow was the only one who could have done the deed, the only one who could have convinced Faa to leave him.And he had done that awful deed, resulting in this reality--this present.There was now a price to pay for that interference; they no longer were friends, a terrible change from the closeness they had shared even in their rivalry.

His dark brown eyes shifted to the two similar boys standing next to Sakura; they were twins.But one wore red robes and the other, green.He knew Shaolin well enough to distinguish that the one in red was him, and the other was his reincarnation.And as he studied both of them, he found he no longer cared anymore that Faa had given herself to Shaolin, he knew she had never loved him.She had just been lost because of Clow's bad judgment and his own blindness for not seeing that his dabbling into the dark arts were frightening her.

Yet… she did love this new Shaolin.He saw it in the way she held his hand like they were entwined together.But the curious thing was that she also held Eriol's hand.He wondered if she felt more for this new Clow than she had for the former one.The hand-holding didn't tell him enough of her emotions because her grip was loose, more friendly than anything.But her fingers were tightly wrapped around Syaoran's, an equal grip that spoke of a deep connection and understanding between the two.Slowly, his gaze swept to Sakura.His eyes began to burn as her image was entrenched into his mind, overwhelming all over thoughts, consuming his soul.He couldn't believe he had killed someone as sweet as her, someone akin to an angel.She was the closest he had come to Heaven, and he had traded it for Hell.He wanted to say something to her, but the words wouldn't come out.No matter how hard he tried.And God knows he tried.

"There is no need for formalities," Eriol decleared as he released Sakura's hand and stepped forward toward Dangyun."State your terms and reasons for this battle, Dangyun."

Dangyun's throat convulsed, and it took him a minute to find his voice, "It will be an Elemental Test with 4 phases: fire, earth, water, and air.Sakura will choose three guardians to help with the battle.I will have only Siwan to even the odds.Do you accept, love?"

Sakura had been staring intently at this foe, this man she didn't want to fight.His deep timbre, the sheer warm in the endearment made her knees quack.She believed that he had been a fixture in her life, her reason for living back then.She had to remind herself that--that: _He killed you, Sakura.He killed me.Why do I still feel this way when--when I'm near him?All I want to do is run to him and make up to him.But a part of me resists, a part of me just wants to remember that Syaoran is my life and focus.He's my reason for living now, not this past love of my life._

"Faa?You need to answer," piped up an adorable voice.The small fairy-like creature dazzled the crowd as she glowed a radiant gold before growing from thumb size to that of a small child, her fighter mode."I am Siwan; I knew you before," she introduced herself.

"Her name is Sakura, now," Dangyun reminded Siwan as he held out a hand to the child size guardian.

Siwan took his hand and turned to stare so deeply at Sakura that she felt that the girl was reading her life scroll through her eyes."She's mostly Faa; she's as close as it gets.I just thought…" her voice trailed off at the end, leaving a hidden explanation unexplained.

Dangyun's thoughts whirled at what Siwan had said._What did she mean?What could Siwan possibly mean?She doesn't say things for no reason, but how could Sakura not be Faa?Is it even possibly to be partly something?_He glanced intently at Siwan._Yes, it's possible, she proves that two parts of a soul can be in one.But how in a person?Is that what she means, or is it just that Sakura is a bit different that Faa because she contains magic?It must be the magic…_

Eriol glanced back at Sakura with worried eyes, knowing she now had to make a choice between the men she loved.He knew it would be a hard decision of either Syaoran or Shaolin.It was just a matter of which she should choose; she should choose Syaoran.Both of them looked at her expectantly, the question in their eyes as Dangyun's deep voice broke through the air with such power and control, "Name your three choices, Sakura."

She didn't hesitate as she named them with an ease that belied the turmoil in her decision."Kero, Yue, and Eriol will be my guardians," she declared lightly.She had almost thought she made a mistake, but she knew in her heart that EriolClow needed this chancethis opportunity, and he was the right one for the job.She felt the hurt in both Syaoran's and Shaolin's gaze, but she ignored it.She had to concentrate on this battle.She couldn't waste time going over in her head who should have been the third guardian; she already made up her mind, and she was going to stick to it.

"I am Kero," rumbled the lion as he strolled over to stand in front of Sakura, a protectiveness in his stance, admirable, "the sun guardian."

"Yue," said the silver haired youth simply, beautiful in his angellic air, "the moon guardian to Sakura." 

"You know me, Dangyun," Eriol murmured softly."The reincarnation of Clow Reed, Eriol.I will be Sakura's third guardian."

"And so it begins," Dangyun remarked in a voice of ire, "winner of three of the four phases takes the stated prize.In the event of a tie, the battle moves into a free-for-all, magician and guardians fighting together in unison, whoever succumbs to calling quits loses.My stated prize is Sakura.She will leave with me if I win."

Eriol's eyes widened as he declared the tie-breaker a free-for-all.He hadn't been expecting that.It was three guardians vs. his Siwan, but then again Sakura didn't know many spells by word of mouth.She depended heavily on her Clow Cards, and terms for the tie-breaker didn't need to be made until they saw it would be needed.He hoped they didn't have to go that far.They had to win three and their best bets were fire, earth, and air.Kero would a big asset in this battle.

"State your prize, love," said Dangyuin in almost a caress.

Syaoran's hand clenched up at his side at the tenderness in the sorceror's voice.This man didn't deserve to treat Sakura this way, as if he were her lover!He had killed her, and he certainly didn't deserve a second chance with her.His anger was directed almost in an unreasonable way toward Dangyun because he didn't want his animosity for her choice in Eriol instead of him to impede them in the battle in anyway.He would be supportive of her decision, even though he hated it.He wanted to be the one fighting by her side.But he knew if anything, she was looking out for him.Besides, he was the one meant for her in this lifetime.Not Dangyun.And certainly not Shaolin.

"That," she began in a shaky voice, "you promise to go back and never return.I don't want to see you again--if I win!" 

Her voice wasn't convincing to him and that caused a tremble of hope in his heart.And he couldn't resist asking as lightly as he could force his voice out, "Are you sure of that?"Then the fear took over him.If he lost, he'd never see her again.It was almost an unbearable thought.Except, when he noticed the wild, unsure look in her her eyes.It had not been an easy choice for her.She did feel something for him.He just wished he knew how much and how deeply it went.

She didn't answer him, if she did speak… her heart would cry out it's answer._No!No, I'm not sure of anything anymore!I need Faa's help, her guidance more than anything.Where are you when I need you, Faa?How can I feel this way about two men?And Eriol was included, until--until he decided for me.I can't make up my mind; I don't know what to do.I'm so confused.I don't know anything anymore._She closed her eyes and tried to feel the breeze, but there was nothing.Nothing at all, not a whisper, not a murmur.Faa wasn't there.She was on her own.

A part of me wants to be Syaoran's loyally without a doubt bonded to him.And a part of me yearns for Dangyun, and it's so hard to know which part is right.Which one should I follow?Both desires are rooted in my heart, and I know I have to choose one of them.But I want them bothI love them both.How is that possible?Isn't there only suppose to be one soulmate for one soul?Isn't that suppose to be what true love is?Something you know and you feel for only one person, the one that was meant for you.Why do they both feel like they were made for me?

"Sakura," Eriol said quietly as he nudged her in the side, "it's time to begin.Dangyun has deferred the choice to you."

She was confused; she was hazy coming out of those thoughts, indecisive.She had no idea was Eriol was referring to."Deferred choice?"

"He has allowed you to choose the first elemental," he explained.

Her mind blanked.She had to choose!She hadn't made any decisions lately, so what would she do?What would she choose?What were the four phases anyways?The elements… _Water, earth, fire, and air.Which one, which one?_"Water," she answered without thinking, coming up with the first one she thought of."I choose water."

Eriol was stunned at her choice, he was sure they were going to lose this battle.It was never good to start off with a loss.But he simple nodded and gave her a reassuring smile and spoke with a confidence he did not feel, "We'll show him that you're the most powerful rival he'll ever have, even more than Clow Reed."

She returned his smile not sure if she even wanted to win or lose.

**Author's Note:**Probably 5 more parts, and guess what?I will have 2 spin-off stories of this series eventually coming out after the end.I will definitely have a Clow + Faa/Sakura/Nadeshiko story coming out as one of the spinoffs.It will go into that story more than this one and a few key parts put in that this series hints at.Thanks for reading and please visit [http://tamishii.fws1.com][1]

   [1]: http://tamishii.fws1.com/



	17. Testament of Strength

Title: Reminiscent (17)

Title: **Reminiscent (17)**

Author: Yih

Written: July/August, 2001

Dedication: To every single reviewer that has every reviewed, **thank you**for giving me the desire to _write_.(And for those of you that tell me I suck and I'm too slow, have you ever tried to written some 30,000+ words long more than once?Yes!I've done it more than once!This is not a job, this is a passion and I'll write when I've got the vibes goin')

Disclaimer:All rights are Clamp, except ACC- Dangyun, Siwan, Tooya, Shaolin, and Ji-li.

_Visit my website at [http://a-dreamer.fws1.com][1] ___

Chapter 17

Yue and Eriol exchanged an understanding look before sitting down on the green grass, in a meditating position.Yue closed his eyes concentrating already, focusing his energies, his whole being on what was about to take place--the hardest battle they had ever had to fight before. Eriol, however, turned to Sakura and said softly, "Release her."

"Release her?"

"Watery."

Sakura nodded and grabbed the Clow key, always around her neck and chanted, "The Key that hides the forces of darkness!Show your true shape to me!I, Sakura, command you under contract.Release!"

She threw the Watery card out and touched it with the wand, the element sprang forth from the sealing, rushing forward and situating herself in front of the two that were now meditating.Both of their eyes were closed as Watery reached out with her hands, evenly balanced in front of their faces, knowing what she was to do, knowing what she had to do.She didn't glance one time back at her mistress; she instead looked into the eye of her foe, the one she would have to fight and defeat for Sakura.She grit her teeth and snarled at the small pixie creature, sure that this battle would be over before it even began.

The show of teeth caused not a trace of emotion Siwan's clam eyes as she moved a step forward to the overpowering presense of an elemental in spiritural, in power form.She simply bowed politely to Watery as she waited for Dangyun to lower himself in the same way as Eriol and Yue.As she straightened up, she felt the power coming into her after Dangyun pointed his finger at her, a pale blue light radiating from it, touching her, overwhelming her with his strength, his magic.She was suffused in the light, gradually seeming to turn opaque, then transparent.No words were spoken as this new water-formed Siwan's eyes glowed as it met Watery's.

The card's throat convulsed as it saw her worthy adversary.Things were not going to be easy as she felt the power brimming forth from this guardian, not a true single force of nature, but able to be all if given enough support from her master, Dangyun.Watery didn't wait for Siwan to gather more power; she gathered herself, all her of and sucking in as she turned from an angellic being into something amorphous.She poured herself into creating an undeniable force, meant to take Siwan by surprise, stopping the flow of magic before Siwan could counteract with her own powers.

It nearly worked, nearly.But Siwan had been mentally warned somehow by Dangyun to expect what was unexpected, so her muscles tightened as she strained against the push of Watery's force, and succeeded ultimately into staying her ground, her feet planted as solidly as could be hoped for in the space of air.But it didn't stop the breath from being knocked out of her as she nearly buckled under another gigantic push from her opponent.Though she was not one to give up so easily, she was new to these elemental powers and as she begin to see the pattern of how to use it, her eyes gleamed with the knowledged and Watery's lit up with a hesitation.

That slight hesitation was all that Siwan needed to push back with all the force in her, making Watery stand in the defensive now.She drawed upon the elemental forces as if she had born one like her enemy, using all the power at her hands, she surged into Watery, seeking to drive her opponent to the ground, for once drenched into it in her amorphous form, it would be hard to entangle herself out of it.For Watery was in this form rather than her angellic one because in this form she was all powerful and able to use herself to her fullest ability.It was what Siwan was counting on.It only made her weaknesses greater.

Watery made a distress sound and Yue quickly moved to assist her, suddenly flying to her aid behind Siwan's back.But before he could assist Watery, Dangyun directed his other hand to Yue, almost like grabbing him with his magic, keeping the moon guardian at bay.Eriol could not assist as he put more surge into his magic, trying to give Watery enough power that she would no longer be at the defensive. 

Yue struggled against the power binds as Sakura cried out, "Eriol-kun!What can I do to help?I feel so useless…"

"You can't release another elemental to help, Sakura.Don't release an elemental, but a non-elemental card, is allowed, isn't it, Dangyun?" asked Eriol through gritted teeth.His forehead trickled a little sweat as he suddenly stood up and moved to Watery, placing his hands upon her amorphous form and slowly felt his magic trickle into her form.

"Non-elemental," Dangyun agreed, his voice a bit harsh as he too stood and came up behind Siwan, part of his magic still concentrated on keeping Yue in a position where he could not lend aid.

"Release Jump!" Sakura exclaimed and moved over to where Yue was so violently struggling, his limbs becoming like glue as he fought against the restraints.She grabbed onto Yue and mentally urged Jump to give it her best shot.But it was to no avail and the three of them were stuck in Dangyun's grip, but the tenuous hold was beginning to tell upon his form, he mentally berated himself for doing away with his dark guardians, but they were almost unmanageable against the lighter forces, such as Sakura.There whole aim was to destroy, and how was he to tell them they were not to destroy, just simply defeat?

He was glad that Sakura was in that bubble, unable to do anything, then he would not be forced to fight against her, even though it drained him faster and quicker than he thought it would.There was no choice, he had to win the first three stages, or else there would be hell to pay.God, he didn't even want to think of the consequences of Siwan taking upon three elemental forms, when it was nearly impossible for a non-elemental to even hold one of the phases of life.

"Sakura!" screamed Syaoran from the crowd that included Shaolin, Touya, and Tomoyo."Do something Kero!"

Kero, who up to this point had been doing nothing, suddenly transformed into the sun guardian he was, standing underneath the bubble that contained both Sakura and Yue, the Jump card having returned to her seal.He sighed as he attacked Dangyun from behind, his power shocking Dangyun's hold upon the bubble.It was almost better to leave the two of them in there, that way they could not aid or be hurt by Dangyun.

He was quickly hit by Dangyun's wandering power and knocked to the ground, groaning he tried to stand, but was forced down by Dangyun's strength, a trickle of it managed to hold the widening bubble.He could tell that the sorcerer was straining, trying to divide himself out enough that it was almost to his breaking point.Even though he was glad to see a sign of weakness, it was too late for it to do them any good.

Siwan with Dangyun's help had forced Eriol to his knees and Watery was drenched into the ground.Kero still tried to wiggle his way out of Dangyun's hold, but it was to no avail as Eriol's face fell into his hands and he said hoarsely, "Sakura, return Watery."

Dangyun released his hold upon Sakura and her other two guardians, Yue immediately grabbing hold of his Mistress before she fell upon the ground.She was neither weak or tired from her exertions of trying to get Yue out of the bubble, but her smile of concern touched Dangyun's heart as she glanced upon her fellow comrades.He wanted her to look at her that way, but was it already too late?Was this all for nothing?

It was then she looked at him with a mixture of happiness and sadness, and Dangyun was not so sure that this win was a loss after all.

"Return Watery!" she called out, the Watery slowly disintegrating back into the Sakura Card seal, an apologetic smile on her face as she felt she had not done the best to her abilities to the Mistress she was so fond of.

She turned to face Dangyun, unable to read the harsh lines upon his face.His expression was that of a true warrior, she noted._And he has won this battle,and I almost want him to win.It sends a thrill down my spine to watch him in work, but how can I enjoy his victory when it hurts others that I care for?_She glanced around and saw Touya's anxious face, Tomoyo's glistening tears, and Syaoran's pale face.Most of all, she saw Eriol's weariness as he stood beside her, and Yue and Kero's determination at the hopeless._I can't give in.I can't… Even if I want to._

"Choose Dangyun," she said with more of an edge than she felt, certainly more surity.

"The Earth from which we all come from," Dangyun answered eloquently, his breath so smooth as he hugged Siwan's tired body to him.He had used her too much, it was too hard for her this battle.He shouldn't have been so confident that he would win, for it may be too much for her, to transform into three elementals and survive.She was not as strong as she use to be, for she had not been training in so long.And for her, an elemental was usually an easy thing, but she had been sleeping all this time she should have been training.Even two elementals might be a danger to her life.So he would give her time to rest and pray that she would be able to continue.If not… he wasn't sure what he would do."And for this you will face me."

**Author's Note:**I know this is short, but it's not the shortest chapter in "R".If it makes you happy, I've already started working on 18.And I am no longer blocked, because the first ending I wrote, I liked, but did not like the connecting scenes.Now, I like the connecting scenes and everything is smooth sailing from here on out!

   [1]: http://a-dreamer.fws1.com/



	18. From the Earth of the Living

Title: Reminiscent (18)

Title: **Reminiscent (18)**

Author: Yih

Written: August and September 7, 2001

Dedication: To the following Reviewers-

Disclaimer: All rights are Clamp, except ACC- Dangyun, Faa, Siwan, Tooya, and Shaolin.

Visit my site at [http://a-dreamer.fws1.com][1]

Chapter 18

Sakura wasn't quite sure what he was referring to when he said that, for wasn't she going to face him in all the phases?Just as she had just faced him and lost to him in the Water stage?It perplexed her surely, and it showed upon her face enough that Dangyun chuckled softly to himself, thinking there was much Sakura didn't yet know, but when her eyes narrowed as if she felt his amusement, his laughter died.They were still bonded he knew, but there were two types of bonds, love and hate.Which did she feel now?There was no inbetweens and he wasn't sure that she could love him after she had hated him.But surely some feeling was better than the lack of?Anger and hate did often result into love… 

"I am to be the Earth you fight," Dangyun said softly, trying to erase the confusion still plainly on her face.

He heard Siwan's gasp and saw the furious shaking of her head."That's too dangerous!You aren't a creature of magic!"

"Am I not?" he inquired lightly as he turned to her."Am I not the master of light and dark, the true magician?Truly a creature of magic?"

"You were not born of magic…"

"All the same, you are weary Siwan and I have enough to survive this…"

"Make the battle open," cut in Eriol, his voice so slightly trembled as he thought of the consequences of a human trying to attain the elemental form.It was nearly impossible, but what Dangyun was saying was true, one that knew both sources of power was more likely to be allowed to go into elemental form than one who practiced only one of the many magics.That still didn't prevent it from being dangerous and deadly.

"I will keep my word," Dangyun responded harshly, "it will be an elemental battle," he sat down again, already beginning to chant the ancient rite Eriol knew only too well.He had never attempted nor wished to do what Dangyun was doing, but he still knew the words… and knew them well--by heart.

I sing a song to the Earth 

_For the favor of your power_

_I am no longer me_

_I am yours to command_

_I am yours for your honor_

_I seek the knowledge of the Earth_

_Grant me the soiled form_

_Give me the Natural being_

_Of wielding your magic._

And the transformation was breathtaking to say the least.From his eloquent lips came a spiritual powerfulness that not even Clow Reed at his fullest powers would have even tried to attempt, this sort of magic was deadly to invoke.Forbidden by the natural laws of magic, Eriol knew only one man who had ever tried it before… their mentor.It had damaged their instructor in the magical arts, but he had survived.Yet, even he who taught them all they knew had warned both of them to never ever use the spell that he passed down to him unless it was absolutely necessary for the good of mankind.It wasn't suppose to be used for this purpose, this was wrong.

His aura was uniquely changed.Eriol's slanted toward Sakura, knowing instinctively that she felt the power ebbing from Dangyun that normally wouldn't have been there.The power was disarming as his aura wasn't even human, but of the earth, of nature.His appearance hadn't been affected yet… until he opened his eyes and they weren't the golden tinge they normally were.Instead, they were pools of the natural woodlands.The background of nature: cascading, living, breathing was in those pools to the soul.

"Dangyun…" murmured Sakura in breathtaking awe.

_I cannot defeat him, _she thought with wonderment._He is magnificent.He wants this more than I do, should I even deny him what he wants when I may want it as well?But what of them?_She glanced toward Eriol, Yue, and Kero… and Syaoran, Touya, Tomoyo, and Shaolin._They have fought by my side, and know that Dangyun is no good.But why do I see the good, why do I see the potential love?Maybe, it's always been there.I just haven't looked until now._

The winds picked around Sakura, forming the eye of a tornado, powerful yet eerily calming.The funnel was around her, and she thought she heard the sound of Faa's voice saying, _Yes!Yes!Yes!Look inside!Look inside, Sakura for the truth is not what it always seems.Look inside of you, and you will find it.You have just not been looking for it until now._

"Sakura?" cried Syaoran as he cradled her head in his arms."Are you okay?"

Sakura struggled to open her eyes.It took a while for her to find her voice and ask, "What happened?"

"You swayed and fell," he smiled faintly, concern showing in his eyes, "but I caught you."

"Like you always do," she whispered back sweetly, stroking his cheek."Arigato, Syaoran."

"I'll always be here for you."

Sakura's mouth was about to form another lover-like response when Dangyun's chilling voice echoed off all the natural world into her ears, "Ready?"

Her eyes focused on him, momentarily forgetting that Syaoran existed when she saw the beauty in his eyes.It was the times like these she didn't believe he was evil.It was the times like these that she saw there was loveliness in him.He wasn't as tainted as she was led to believe by Shaolin.He wasn't, she knew that.But what exactly made him kill her?

"Yes, I'm ready," she responded as she was helped to her feet by Syaoran.

It had hurt watching that small exchange between Sakura and Syaoran.He saw how right Syaoran was for Sakura.But wasn't Sakura, his one and only soulmate?Then how was it that Sakura and Syaoran looked so utterly perfect together?Was it possible that he had been wrong, and that Sakura wasn't the one for him?But then, why did it hurt so much when he saw the two of them together?Why did it ache in his heart and rip his soul apart to see them so happy, so content?

He felt Siwan's comforting arms tighten around his neck as her lips brushed against his collarbone."You love her," Siwan affirmed in a tight voice."You want her, but you love her.There is a difference.Shaolin only wanted her, but you love her."

Was it possible to want Sakura and not love her?

He studied for one second Shaolin's worried face.Yes, perhaps Shaolin had wanted Sakura but he had grown affectionate of her, maybe even at one time loving her.But while there was concern written on his face, there was also a possessive jealousy about him.It was nearly the same as his own jealousy, but his was more pain while Shaolin's was not.

"Yes, I'm ready," she repeated, thinking Dangyun had not heard her the first time around.

Whatever human emotion he had felt was gone.Not a trace of his feelings were on his face or on his body.He was totally in elemental form; he was the Earth of which all things came from.And he was ready, more than ready to defeat her.He felt the power brimming in him, overflowing all other influxes of power he had ever felt before.He wanted to unleash it and see what it felt like.Was it draining?Or was it just being?

"Release Earthy!" cried out Sakura.

Yue and Kero quickly sprung up besides Dangyun, focusing all their energies on him.But he pushed them back, entrapping them in a sandstorm that quickly twisted their bodies away from his elemental form right before Eriol and Earthy leapt in front of him.Eriol's magic pulsed into Earthy as it sent a catastrophic upheaval of the dirt underneath Dangyun, but that did no good.He was part of the Earth, and formed into it, becoming part and quickly traveling beneath the two partners.He pushed up as they tried to push him down, but he succeeded.

He felt the joys of a neverending supply of magic, but he was wise.There was still more of the battle to be fought then this simple ruckus now.There was no need to show off when he could simply defeat them easily.He wasn't a flashy magician by nature, he was a conservative one.He wanted to win.He wanted Sakura.He loved Sakura.

"Eriol!" screamed Sakura in warning as Dangyun's dirt form enveloped Eriol.

The warning was not in vain however.Eriol managed to make a bubble of which he could breath in as the sand crashed around the bubble, pushing him into the womb of mother nature.He waited and bidded his time before erupting out of the sweet Earth, delivering a crushing blow to Dangyun.He then pushed with Earthy by his side with a blue, pure light.Yue's star power soon joined the fray as Kero began to breath fire.

Sakura caught her breath as Dangyun was surrounded by a powerful explosion._He has to be alright.He has to be…_

And he was, to her relief.He had disappeared underneath the Earth's welcoming embrace just before the magic would have damaged him into defeat, possibly taking his life.Because it was no average magic he was facing, but the forces of the most powerful white magician to ever live?Clow Reed.Even though it was not meant to destroy, it could if used to its fullest, even one as strong as he was.

He rebounded behind them when they least expected it, just when the cloud of dust was clearing.He gripped them in his dirt claws, forcing them by squeezing every essence of air from them, making them concede victory to him so that they might take in the nourishing of life.But they would not give in.So he simply glanced at Sakura with the look that said, 'you must acknowledge your defeat because they will not.'

They were willing to die for her.

But she was not going to let that happen.If it must be so, she would go to Dangyun.If it must be so, she would go to him and maybe not be as unhappy as she might have thought.There was a kindness in him, he could have killed them.But he didn't.When faced with fighting her, he had put her in a bubble on purpose.He hadn't wanted to harm her.Then, how did he kill her before?She didn't see how he could do it.It wasn't in him.

"Return Earthy!" she called out with the knowledge that this might be the last few minutes she would ever see her family and her friends.But she didn't feel the least bit saddened.She wasn't sorry to have to be with Dangyun, but she wasn't happy with going with him.But if it must be to prevent the unthinkable from happening to her friends, she would go through for them, and maybe herself.Perhaps, then she would find out how he managed to kill her so long ago.

"I'm sorry, Sakura," Eriol said apologetically, wiping his forehead's sweat with his hand.

"It's okay.It's okay."

And it was.

**Author's Note:**Honestly, this series will be finished, but depending on reader's responses it may be finished earlier or later than expected.I currently had about 3 to 4 hours of homework and frankly, I don't have time to write.And when I do, I'm focusing on a writing contest.So it helps to know that people actually read this and enjoy it.While I am doing this for myself, I already know how it turns out (mostly) but it helps to know that other people like to read it as much as I like to write it.Cross Country meets start this weekend and don't end for 2 months, so I don't have time to write Saturday either.So help support and make me want to write as fast as I can.Thanks!

   [1]: http://a-dreamer.fws1.com/



	19. Magic Strands

Title: Reminiscent (19)

Title:**Reminiscent (19)**

Author:Yih

Written:September 21/22, 2001

Dedication:To the following Reviewers- Fuuzaki, Kariangle, Julie, Inuki, Shi-Angel, Tomogirl, Weasel_Girl, vanilla bunny, Sakura Ayanami, SAKURAnTOKYO, kloud, Empress Sarah-sama, lilygirl2001, Sarah Caelum, ssfan, and Twisted Rose.

Disclaimer:All rights are Clamp except ACC- Faa, Dangyun, Siwan, Tooya, and Shaolin.

Visit my website at [http://www.seiki.f2s.com][1] (anime) and [http://a-dreamer.fws1.com][2] (personal/writing)

For Yue x Sakura fans, read my fanfiction "A Sweet Blossoming!"(for readers: Part 2 is in the works, but will take a while to get out).

Chapter 19

He was incredibly weary.

But he had survived undamaged, perhaps.However much he was drained, he was still whole and could still feel the vibrancy of the magic at his fingertips.His mentor had always told him, that something would be awfully wrong, something gone awfully awry if he could not longer feel the strands of magic around him.Because a true magician knew not only how to create magic through sheer ability, but also to pull at the strands of life, magical strands to manipulate the natural world in a way that seemed magical.

Unreal.All-powerful.Dangyun had succeeded in that sort of tampering with an ease that Clow Reed had never fully master.Which was why Clow Reed had depended on stable sources of magic, or magic that didn't disappear once the spell was over, magic trapped within an object or a creature.He liked to think he was a better magician, but that was being narrow minded and not seeing that both sorts were very credible arts.

He leaned his exhausted body against the stiff trunk of a solid tree, the very will power to stand rigid and mighty nearly gone from him.He wanted to fall to his knees and deny this torment to his physical being, but his soul wouldn't allow it.He already decided that he would do anything to get Sakura backFaa back, even if it meant death itself.He couldn't live without her.He didn't want to live without her.It was better to die trying to get her back than to live to see her with this new Shaolin.That torture he couldn't stand again, not ever.

He was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't notice when Siwan pressed her tiny palm into the indention of one stern wrinkle."You shouldn't think that grimly, Dangyun.It makes you less pretty," she admonished as she smiled up beguilingly at him.

It wrung a small smile, a crack in his armor."You think I'm pretty, little one?"

"Very, just not when you're like this," she murmured, wiggling her nose indignantly as if trying to state her point across."You're never going to be ugly, at least not to me, inside or outside, but sometimes Dangyun what isn't as pretty outside is how you feel inside."

The wisdom of her almost childishly phrased words hit him hard.He bent his head down as if defeated just as Siwan blew a kiss to him."But right now, you're very beautiful inside, though outside you seem not as gorgeous.Your intentions, while self indulgent aren't wrong.Don't ever think trying to attain love is wrong.Love is never wrong.But how you use it may be wrong.You don't use it wrong, Dangyun.You never have."

The tears welled up at the base of his eyes as his throat convulsed with the emotion pent up in him.He struggled for control as one tear slid down the long planes of his face and fell to the ground.His smile this time lit his whole face up in a remarkable light.As he lifted his head, he caught Sakura's eye.And her eyes were also filled with tears as she watched the exchange.

"Thank you," he whispered at Siwan."I needed that."

Siwan turned away from him, but her vibes were clear and he read them accurately. _"I know."_

Sakura was moved by the conversation between them, as hard as she tried not to listen to them.She had to build up some kind of hate against this supposedly detestable foe that would rip her away from her family and the man she loved, Syaoran… Syaoran.But, why couldn't she do the right think?Why did she have to feel this way for a man that killed her, loved her, and now has returned to her… only to fight for what he wanted… her.

There had been a beauty in his smile that she didn't quite know how to put it into words._He was so beautiful when his lips curled up, bringing the sorrow so visible in his body language into something joyful, weightless… almost.But I'm not sure how I would describe something so amazing with such inadequate words.There are no words for that kind of outpouring of pure magnificence.I'll never forget that smile.Never!_

And she was glad she had that.For she would never hate Dangyun, and now she had seen a part of him that made her know how it was possible for Faa to love a man that had such distinct and deep faults.For there was an undeniable radiance about him when his inner good shone through the darkness of what he had done, or will do.But that badness only made the goodness more visible.

"Choose the next phase."The tone of his voice drawing Sakura way from her reflective thoughts, moving her back into the reality she'd rather not face.

"Windy," Sakura replied, knowing this was the strongest card she had going for her.Not only did she have this card the longest, there were two other cards that could help that had nothing to do with the elements, Fly and Jump.Using these cards, she'd be able to evade Dangyun and help the others also to escape his grip of magic that left them utterly useless.

"Very well, very well."He touched Siwan with one finger at the back of her spine as his magic coursed through her, as he sought instinctively for the path that would make her translucent and all powerful again. This time, the transformation had nothing to do with pure power, rather than the manipulative of nature to find the source that would empower Siwan into great heights that might ultimately lead to victory for him.

Sakura immediately released Windy, Jump, and Fly simultaneously as Kero and Yue leaped into action.Jump situating itself behind Eriol, to help him evade Dangyun's clutches as he in turn helped Sakura, who didn't need as much protection with the flight of her newly sprung wings.The wings made her look like a mini-feminine version of Yue and were quite effective in getting away from trouble, as seen so often in the past.

Eriol lifted his hands with a ball of power flying from his hands directly at Siwan who struggled to find the natural embodiment of being so nothing, but so much at the same time.The change was so drastic not just turning solid into liquid, it was liquid into air, air that while it could be felt felt like nothing to being with.The sheer force of the ball of power would have undone many of a soul if Dangyun hadn't pulled at the magically strands forming it, making it avert its path toward Siwan, just barely, saving her undoubtedly from defeat.

But even he couldn't keep his eyes on Siwan at all times as Yue, Kero, and Eriol decided to focus on the strength of Siwan, which came obviously from Dangyun.Sakura and Windy worked together, Sakura staying so close to Windy that Siwan couldn't attack.She couldn't harm the girl that was part of her.It would be like killing herself.It made her wonder all the more how Dangyun had done his awful deed.

Now, was not the time to think of that as she absorbed all her focus into getting around defeating Windy without hurting Sakura.But everyway she moved, hoping that by moving too quickly Windy would become separated from her Mistress long enough for her to attack.That was anything but the case.Sakura stuck to Windy's side like a shadow that's always present.Windy couldn't separate herself from Sakura as she couldn't separate her shadow.

So Siwan played the evading game as Dangyun had troubles of his own.It was different having them attack all at once at Siwan and him helping her, catching them unawares.He had to applaud them mentally, now they weren't thinking only with their passions, but also with their brains.It made them smarter and wiser, using better attacks in a more organized effort.His confidence wasn't waning, but he prided himself in calculating better than them.If only he could get them watching each other's back then use his powers to attack from both above and below.It would catch them by surprise enough that he could pull the strands of invisible magic around them to bind them together and go to help Siwan.

He mentally berated himself for not trapping Sakura before the third challenge had sprung into action.He knew better that if he couldn't even attack her in an injurious way, how could he expect Siwan to do the same?She was gentler, kinder, and sweeter than he would ever be.Of course she wouldn't be able to hurt Sakura, and she knew he didn't want her to, anyway.

As he thought Yue, Eriol, and Kero were closing in on Dangyun, themselves wondering what Dangyun was doing as he was just standing there… a perfect target for them.But all three were wise, they knew that a master of darkness always had more than one trick up his sleeve, they just needed to predict how many to be prepared for.They all met in a three way eye contact of agreement, they knew how to fight together.They had fought together in practice and in reality too many times to count.They could actually estimate the number of times they had used this sort of attack plan.

It was meant to take Dangyun totally by surprise as Kero just started attacking his fire power at Dangyun, catching the dark sorceror unawares because his thoughts and his visions had all been of his beloved Sakura.He barely managed to block the harm of Kero's fiery emission in time to turn around and counterattack Yue's shower of magic from above.And he wasn't successful in escaping Eriol's burst of magic, and his astonished cry drew away Siwan's gaze from what she needed to be attentive too…

And they both fell back into reality.

The third stage was over.

** **

**Story Note:**I'll have maybe 5 more chapters, the last fighting chapter and about 4 more to add to the conclusion.Yes, mush will be involved in the next chapter and the next few chapters.I'm not quite sure how many because I intended the fighting to be only 2 chapters, but it ended up being 4 (thought slightly shorter) but 4 nonetheless.Just gotta see how it goes.

**Author's Note:**Thanks for the overwhelming reviewing, it was tremendous and much needed.I was getting slightly saddened by the fact I'd only received 3 email alerts of reviews because I had no idea FF.net had taken that privilege away!One day (yesterday) I viewed the website because I wanted to read some fanfictions (Imadoki) and I found 15 more reviews or so (estimation) in Reminiscent and it just inspired me to write because I knew that people liked it!Thanks and thanks again!

   [1]: http://www.seiki.f2s.com/
   [2]: http://a-dreamer.fws1.com/



	20. How the Flower Blooms

Title:  **Reminiscent (20)**

Author:  Yih

Written:  December 6, 2001

Dedication:  To the following Reviewers- 

Disclaimer:  All rights are Clamp except ACC- Faa, Dangyun, Siwan, Tooya, and Shaolin.  

_Visit my website at http://www.seiki.f2s.com ___

For Yue x Sakura fans, read my fanfiction "A Sweet Blossoming!"  (Chapter 2 is released!).  

Chapter 20

"Sakura?"

"Sakura?!"

"Sakura!"

"SAKURA!!!" cried out Syaoran quickly rushing to her side when she began to collapse.  But he wasn't the one that caught her into the safety of the embrace… that honor was Dangyun's.  Weak and tired as he was, when he saw Sakura's wobbling knees bend from the incredible effort and mental strain he couldn't help but grasp her close to his heart.  And the flood of sweet memories nearly undid him.  

He wanted to bawl like a baby.  He wanted to be beg her forgiveness.  How could he have killed his true love?  He couldn't understand still, but he knew he had done it.  He killed her.  He killed her.  He killed her.  And all he wanted to do right now was cry in her arms, release all the anguish within him, and pour it out in a showering of tormenting pain.  He had to have her forgiveness; he needed it more than anything else but her love.  And he couldn't attain her love without her forgiveness.  

"Sakura?" he murmured, his hand reaching down to caress her pale cheeks while her eye lids fluttered.  "Are you…"

Syaoran knocked Dangyun's hand away and grabbed Sakura's limp body as tenderly as possible away from Dangyun.  "Don't you think you've caused her enough misery?  Don't you think that the least you could do is leave her alone?  Don't you think that this has only given more to torment herself over?  Don't you think that even though you're evil, you're cruel, you're corrupt that she doesn't agonize over hurting you?  Don't you think that you owe her some peace?"  

Dangyun's head fail in defeat at those words that made him feel like the sickest soul in the world.  Syaoran's biting words crushed all that Siwan had said earlier about how true and how good and how lovely his intentions were.  Instead, he remembered how he felt about what he was doing and he hated himself all the more.  He hated and he hated and he despised himself to the ends of the earth.  

"Syaoran!" murmured Sakura as loud as she could, but he ignored her.  The rage within rising so rapidly.  

"Don't you think that I love her more than you ever could?"  

Now that was wrong.  Now that was pushing it.  

Dangyun lifted his head and stared daggers into Syaoran's body.  He tilted his face to the side, letting his long black locks shift in a wickedly beautiful picture of elegance and said, "No."  He smiled serenely and narrowed his eyes.  "No, you might love her just as much as I do, but you could never love her more than I do."  

"I'm not the one that killed her."  

That accusation hurt.  And hurt.  

"Stop!" Siwan shouted as she flew wearily toward the intensity between the two of them, seeing the distress upon Sakura's face as her lips struggled to speak and stop this furious battle.  "Stop this foolishness!  You both want Sakura; you both love her.  It's not wrong, but one of you doesn't belong.  And that's Sakura's decision to make.  So why can't we just be adults about this and stop being all childish?  Let Sakura make up her mind.  The wait might be really really painful but if she lost you, Syaoran she'd cry her heart out and if she lost you, Dangyun she'd lose a part of herself.  So why do you both have to make everything so much worse by your bickering?"  

Dangyun sighed and smiled sadly.  "You're right Siwan."  

"Of course I'm right," she answered with a becoming grin.  "I'm a little cutie pie!  I'm a little sweet pixie!  I'm the loveliest thing you ever saw, aren't I?"  

He chuckled as he offered her his palm to perch onto.  "I suppose you are at least very well compared to the loveliest thing I ever saw.  You and Sakura are the loveliest things I've ever seen, little one.  You're both beautiful beyond compare, and I can't tell you who I find more gorgeous.  You both remind me of the shiniest sun, the glowing glory, the mesmerizing moon… you both have such pure passion.  I love you both."  

"Dangyun?" whispered Sakura weakly.  

"Yes, my love?"  

"I can't fight you anymore."  

"I know."  

"No… that's not it.  I won't fight you anymore."  

"Hush.  You don't need to tell me anything anymore.  I understand."  

"How?"  

He smiled at her question, a thing of much beauty.  "I understand because we are what we are.  We are the soulmates, two halves of a whole.  It doesn't mean that we're should be together, but it means that we are destined to be.  Anything of pain that I cause you hurts me tenfold the worse.  And whatever thought that flows within your mind, yours dreams, your wants, your needs… I know them instinctively when I'm not…  when I'm not… when I'm not…"

"When you're not trapped?  When you're not imprisoned?  When you're not controlled?" interrupted Eriol.  "I understand.  I warned Faa.  I warned her, but she didn't believe me.  She didn't want to believe me.  I knew, and I didn't tell her until it was too late.  I wanted to believe that you weren't being drawn too far into the darkness, and for other reasons, such as I wanting her for myself.  But I know now she was never meant for me, never meant for Clow.  I'm perfectly content now with just being her guidance and her loyal loyal friend."  

"Eriol?" whispered Sakura, concerned with the tear falling from his eyes.  

"I'm okay," he muttered.  "I've gotten over the fact you never loved me."  

"But I do, just not in that way."  

"I know."  

"I never knew…" said Dangyun with awe.  "I never knew you felt that way about her.  How could I have not known?  Was I so blind?"  

"No, you weren't blind.  I hid it well.  I didn't want you to know.  I knew what you felt for Faa was true and deep and undying.  I didn't want to spoil that, but I couldn't help but wish and hope that she'd one day turn to me.  And I thought that chance had come when you started dabbling into the dark arts.  And I knew that it would eventually  turned you into something evil.  That's why the people that practice the dark arts are evil, there's something seductive about that source of power and it changes the person that uses it constantly.  As you began to get stronger, you still held onto a part of goodness which I think had something to do with Faa and Siwan.  Those two sources of purity kept you latched into this mixed atmosphere which is where you gradually became violent and confused because your magic was confused.  You can be only white or black, good or bad.  There's no in-between as you discovered.  There's only one way or the other."  

"But… then how am I able to come back?  Once I'm taken… aren't I gone?"  

"I think by killing Faa, it brought you such remorse that you felt defeated and the part of you that was defeated was your evil nature that had been growing and overcoming your good side.  But you were never evil, Dangyun.  You just succumb to the allure and your will to be good was momentarily overcome.  Your curiosity of the dark arts had a major impact since you wanted to learned the dark arts, you were susceptible to it's pull.  But luckily you escaped it before it drew you in further and before it made you kill Faa's reincarnations.  That would have drove you insane."  

"If I had known…"

"Then you wouldn't have done it.  And Faa would still be alive.  And you two would be together.  And Sakura and Syaoran would be together."  

"This relationship with her won't work will it?  It's wrong, isn't it?"  

"I didn't say that," Eriol answered.  "I only said that that was what would have been if fates hadn't been so cruel as to give you an insatiable curiosity.  All our lives would have been much different.  Now as I think about it, Sakura might have never existed because Faa's spirit would have never wandered and become lost in the whirl of time and become half-way reborn into Nadeshiko where I found her and loved her and lost her again.  Without Fujitaka and Nadeshiko the Sakura as you know her, would never have become as she is now.  I think if none of this had happened neither you and Faa would have been reborn since you have found yourselves completely and had no need to wander in search of that other half.  That pure misery of losing the one true half probably nearly killed Faa with misery much as you have felt yourself, Dangyun.  That deep love creates deep hate."  

"Deep hate?" queried Sakura.  "I never hated Dangyun."  

"But you did.  I heard you say that you hated him because he had abandoned you, because when you ran away he never came for you.  I'm not quite sure what drove Dangyun to kill you, but you did hate him at least for a second."  

"Yes, she hated me.  But I thought she hated me because she loved him," Dangyun nodding in the direction of Shaolin.  "She told me she hated me because she loved him.  I didn't understand why she'd say.  I didn't understand why she could suddenly turn and betray me and love someone else.  I didn't understand and that still doesn't acquit me from killing her.  I killed her.  With my own hands I killed her."  

"You did kill her," Eriol murmured thoughtfully.  "But you were also under the volatile influence of black magic, so not all your actions can be attributed to that.  But I'm not quite sure why Faa would have told you she hated you and told you she loved Shaolin because she never loved him.  And immediately after Faa would whisper that she hated you, she'd cry a thousand tears and weep and rant that she loved you so much.  It hurt me to watch her suffer from your stubbornness.  You were stupid not to come for her."  

"I didn't know she wanted me.  But yes, I was stupid."  

Eriol smiled.  "That must be the first time we've agreed in a while."  

"Only about a thousand years."  

"That still doesn't change the situation."  

"No, it doesn't."  

"You know what she has to do."  

"What does she have to do?" chirped in Siwan.  

Dangyun groaned.  

"You suggested it," Eriol reminded her.  

"Wha?!"  

"I see," Syaoran said.  "That's fine with me."  

"What!?  Somebody please tell me?!?" Siwan whined pathetically.  

"For a wise little cherub as she is," remarked Eriol, "she's amazingly clueless at a time like this."  

"Somebody tell me!"

"Yes, somebody please tell," affirmed Sakura.  

Dangyun raised an eyebrow.  "I guess that comes from Sakura."  

Siwan and Sakura both glared at him as he shrugged his shoulders in a 'what?  I'm not mean, I'm only telling the truth' move.  

"It's quite simple actually," Eriol began, smoothing over the scene, "Sakura you're going to have to choose."  

"What?"

"Between Dangyun and Syaoran."  

"WHAT?!" screamed Touya from the background, being held by the smiling transformed Yukito.  

**Story Note:**  Uh… I said that there was going to be 5 more chapters.  I lied (actually I kinda changed the plot to end the story a lot quicker).  There will be one more chapter (really really long one) or I'll split it into a two part thingie deal.  But the end is nearing and all Sakura needs to do is choose?  Isn't that plain exciting?  And yeah there will be two series dealing with the jist of this story.  One I know is definitely about Clow Reed's reincarnation Fujitaka and Nadeshiko, which will be a figment of my imagination involving the storyline I set up in this original piece.  

**Author's Note:**  If you review, I'll send you an email telling you about the next update (if you leave your email that is!).  Otherwise, I have no idea when the next part is coming out.  Could be awhile.  I just watched some CCS anime and it sorta inspired me (the same as reviews do).  And I'm dying to write the Yue x Sakura series I started.  So my focus will sorta be split.  But I must say this… writing this chapter has got me kinda excited since I changed the ending, anything's possible now!


	21. Love Never Fades

Title:  **Reminiscent (21)**

Author:  Yih

Written:  December 25, 2001

Dedication:  To all my reviewers –hugs-  MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Disclaimer:  All rights are Clamp except ACC- Faa, Dangyun, Siwan, Tooya, and Shaolin.  

_Visit my website at http://www.seiki.f2s.com_

_For Yue x Sakura fans read A Sweet Blossoming (now has 3 new chapters!) // _There's an OMAKE at the bottom! (and an excerpt from an Eriol x Sakura fanfic!)

I have only ever loved you

Oh!  You, who captured my heart,

Oh!  You, who became part of my soul,

It was I, that loved you—

More than dreams could fulfill.

It was I, that gave you—

Everything I had to give.

How I worshipped you!

How I cherished you!

You, who are my soul-mate.

You, who are my half.

I have only ever loved you

"Only Ever Loved" (by Yih)

Chapter 21__

_"You've come back," he murmured with surprise as he grasped her frail body close to his side.  "My love, you've come back to me.  I've missed you so much.  You have no idea how I yearned for you."  _

_"Then why didn't you come for me?" she asked, her voice as cold as ice.  _

_"Faa?"_

_"Why didn't you come for me Dangyun?  Why didn't you come for me?  I was dying without you… and you didn't come to take me back.  Didn't you realize that I only ran away so that you'd forget that black magic and come for me?  But no!  Your practicing the dark arts were more important than me, weren't they?  You didn't care that I ran away from you to prove your love for me.  You don't love me the way I love you, do you?" she accused.  _

_"Where did you ever get that idea, my beloved?" questioned Dangyun, still haunted by the memories of seeing Faa's room cleared of all her stuff—abandoned and gone.  "I missed you more than I could bear.  But I thought that you needed sometime to yourself.  If I thought that this was a test I would have come immediately.  But I knew you'd come back when you felt ready and I was here waiting for you.  I was waiting only for you."  _

_"If you couldn't bear living without me, then how could you still practice your magic?"_

_"It's not what it seems."  _

_"Oh really?  You don't think I don't know what potion making looks like?  What are these insidious herbs?  They're for potion making…!"  _

"Faa…" 

_"And then I began to hate you for leaving me there.  I began to hate you so much.  I hated you and I hated you.  Why did you let me hate you and love you at the same time?" she cried out.  "Why?  Why didn't you come for me immediately?  Why didn't you stop me from making my journey to Clow's house?  Why didn't you prevent me from going all that way if you wanted me as much I hoped you would?"  _

_"I did."  _

_"Then why?"  ___

_"Because," he explained, "you made me weak inside.  Without you, I didn't know who I was anymore.  I lost myself within you."  _

_"Dangyun?"  _

_"I was going to come if you had given me but another day.  These are why the potions are on my desk.  I was making for a quickened journey to Clow's house.  I couldn't stand to be apart from you Faa.  And I don't care if you hate me as much as you love me, I still want to be only with you.  I'll give up the dark arts; I'll give up magic, if you'll be my true love, my wife."  _

_"Dangyun?"_

_"I want you to marry me." _

_"Dangyun?"_

_"Say yes."_

_"…"_

_"I love you, Faa.  I always will."  _

_"I can't."  _

_"Faa?" he queried, watching her turn around her shoulder shaking from the power of her tears.  "Faa, what's wrong?"  _

_"Even if you had come a month ago, it would have been too late.  You had six months to come and get me.  But you didn't.  You sat there and persisted to wait me out to see if I'd come back to you because you didn't want to show weakness in coming for me, didn't you?"  _

_"Yes."  _

_"And I didn't want to show weakness in coming back."  _

_"It isn't weakness though, it's strength in the coming back," declared Dangyun, caressing the back of her neck.  _

_"No, it's weakness."  _

_"No, no…"_

_"Let me explain please, Dangyun.  But first let me tell that I only ever loved you."  _

_"I always knew that."  _

_"When I was at Clow Reed's house, his younger brother was there.  I never knew that he had a younger brother, but he did.  I guess I was too young to remember when Shaolin was still there.  I was too young to remember the days when we use to play together because I was too young to play around with Clow and you, Dangyun.  He reminded me of those days and he comforted me while my tears streamed from my eyes like a new waterfall.  _

_"And I allowed him to become closer and closer to me.  I allowed him to enter my heart.  But even as I did, I knew he could never replace your place in my heart.  But the words of which he said his undying love for me, gave me a hope for the future.  A prospect that I didn't know existed.  But I couldn't forget you, and I couldn't love him the way I loved you.  There would always be a shadow between me and Shaolin if I said 'yes' to him when he asked me.  _

_"But I said 'no' even as I wanted to say 'yes' because you weren't coming for me, that much I knew.  You didn't want to come for me because that would show your weakness.  So he said he'd give me time, and that we could be together longer and get to know each other better.  And as the weeks grew in months, my hope for you faded and faded, and I began to hate you.  I kept asking myself, 'if he really loved me, he'd come for me, wouldn't he?'  But you didn't come and I allowed myself to believe that you didn't love me._

_"My resolve weakened against Shaolin and my heart opened just a bit.  He seduced me and I allowed him to.  I was weak and I was scared and I was lost.  I didn't know what to do anymore.  So now I'm here to tell you that it's too late.  I don't love Shaolin as much as I loved you, Dangyun.  No, I'll always love you no matter what, but I can't be with you since I promised Shaolin I would be his wife._

_"I said 'yes' the second time he asked three months ago.  I couldn't resist any longer.  I didn't think it would be but a week before you came.  But you didn't.  And so his comforting presence lessened the void within me at being abandoned by you and I tried to move on.  But I still could not forget you.  I still could not—would not let you go.  But I can't have you anymore, can I?  I've tainted myself by being with Shaolin.  You wouldn't want me anymore, would you?"_

_She looked into his eyes sadly, her green orbs filled with unshed tears as she huddled down to the ground, too weak to stand on her limbs anymore.  But she was not alone as she thought she was for his warm, familiar arms wrapped around her slender body and cradled her close to his heart.  Then he said the words that made her want to cry a thousand tears._

_"I don't care if you've promised yourself to him.  You have always been mine."  _

_"It's not that though."  _

_"What is it then?"_

_She pressed a hand to her stomach.  "I'm pregnant."_

_It took Dangyun a long long moment to understand what she was telling him.  And when he finally did comprehend it, he began to denounce it.  How could it be true?  Faa loved him, she loved him.  It should be his baby that was in her womb, but it wasn't.  It wasn't.  God, it wasn't.  It was his.  How could she?  How could she?  How could she have another man's baby in her stomach?  How could she?" _

_"Faa, how could you?"_

_She closed her eyes and reached up to kiss Dangyun on the lips, but they were tainted to him now much as she said and he jerked his face away.  The darkness took over as much as he had tried to suppress it all these six months, purifying himself for her.  It had been had and Clow Reed had been right.  The black magic had a way of seducing even the purest heart to evil.  But now it didn't matter anymore.  Despite the six months of trying to get rid of the essence of darkness in him, there was a tinge and with this brutal information, the evil rooted itself into his heart once more.  _

_"Faa, how could you do this to me?"_

_"I'm sorry."_

_"I love you still, but I also hate you now."  _

_"I'm sorry."_

_"How could you make me hate you?"_

Sakura woke up in Syaoran's arm, tears streaming down from her face.  And her face was as white and as pale as could be.  She felt so utterly desolated and so torn by an unspeakable grief, but then she felt the warm caress of the wind and knew that Faa was here and had been the one to spark her memory.  But where was she?  Why was she in this room?  

She sighed as she felt a familiar hand stroking her cheek.  "Are you okay, Sakura?"

"Syaoran!?"

"Yes, who else would it be?"

She had thought, she had thought--- it was Dangyun.  His presence she had felt so strongly, but was it just because of the flashback of past life, or had it merely been she had wanted him by her side.  She didn't know which was the case yet, but she had to find out.  And the only way to do it was to be able to talk and to see and to hear what Dangyun had to say.  

"Where's Dangyun?  Where am I?"

The words hurt Syaoran that the first think she would ask would be for Dangyun.  Was it true then?  Was he going to lose her now?  

"He's outside.  We're at home.  You fainted just after Touya did.  Yukito with the help of Dangyun carried your overreacting onii-chan home while I carried you home.  Eriol suggested that you needed to good long rest to clear your mind of all the stress.  And I've already talked to Dangyun, we've agreed to give you as much time you need to make up your decision."  

Sakura nodded and wrapped her cool fingers into his hair, bringing his face down to hers and captured his lips in an achingly sweet, but yet sad kiss of longing and of regret.  "May I see Dangyun please, privately?"

Syaoran closed his eyes in pain because he could already feel the death of all his hopes and dreams.  Now he knew how cruel love could be.  But he did as she asked and brought his rival in love to her side because there wasn't anything that he wouldn't do for her.  He'd died a thousand deaths, he'd even sacrifice his love for her to make her happy.  

"Thank you, Syaoran."  

After he closed the door to her room, she asked, "Could you please hold me?"

There was a surprised look on his face as he reached down tenderly to hold her frail body, sickening inside thinking how much pain he had already caused her.  His body ached as he remembered how he had once held Faa this way and what she had told him.  The anguish was still as fresh as if it had just been a minute ago.  The flashbacks making his mind throb with agony.

"Do you remember?" she asked in a soft whisper, her hand reaching up to caress his cheek.  "Do you remember?"  

"Yes."  

"I reached up to pull you down in a kiss, but you refused last time."  __

"I would not this time."

She smiled poignantly as she buried her fingers into his long mane of hair and pulled his breathtakingly beautiful face down to hers.  The kiss was sweet and pure, a kiss of innocent love being remembered for what it had been—a glorious affair.  The sheer passion of what had been overtook then as they melted further and further into the fiery kiss until Dangyun pulled away from her, his eyes wild and his hair disarrayed.  And Sakura—Sakura was lost in a whirl of emotion and time.  

"I've missed you so much," he groaned.  

"I know."

"If it hadn't been the darkness inside… things would have been different."

"I know."

"Those potions you saw, they were to help me get to see you and to help purge the evil away."

"I know."

"I love you, I never hated you."

"I love you, too."

"You always will?"

He tenderly brushed a lock of hair from her mouth, tracing her lips with sweet reminiscent memory of the heart melting kiss.  

"I always will."

"May I ask something?"

"Anything," she replied.

"Did you ever hate me?"

"Yes," she answered truthfully.  

"Do you still hate me?"

"No," she whispered with a soft smile.  

"May I ask you a favor?"

"Of course," she murmured.

"Can you forgive me, for killing you?"

"Oh Dangyun, I forgave you the moment you did it.  I deserved it."  

"You never deserved it, Faa."

She smiled beautifully.  "I knew you'd recognized me."

"How long are you here for?"

"A few more moments."

"But how?"

"The kiss brought me back."  

"And?"

"It will bring me back."  

"I'm not ready for you to leave."

"I can hardly stay here.  My soul has wandered, and become lost because of our tragedy of misunderstanding and twist of fate.  But now, I finally can be reborn into a new life, a purer existence now that I am ready and now that I know we belong together and I truly only ever loved you."  

"Faa?"

"Yes, Dangyun?"  

"Will we be together again?"  

"Fate owes us.  But fate gave this settling of our problems, so they have repaid us.  I have no idea.  Sakura is still a part of me, but she is still herself.  I know you love her for her.  Don't worry she may choose you yet, my dear."  

"Would that…?"

"No.  Never.  I only wish you were happy."

"I the same to you."  

"Thank you."

"I love you."

"Ready?"

"Yes," he whispered as he rested her body on the pillows and cushions of Sakura's bed.  

"I love you," she whispered back as they're lips met for one last kiss of the endlessness of time.  "Don't you forget that."

"I won't."

And she was gone.  

"Dangyun?"

"Yes, Sakura?"

"What happened?"

"For instant, you faded and became Faa."

"Did you get to ask her?"

"For her forgiveness?"

"Yes, that."

"Yes, I did," Dangyun replied, smiling serenely.  

"I'm glad, it's over now isn't it?"

"Yes, both our souls are at least content.  She can now be reborn now that the misunderstandings have all been put aside and now that she knows everything and that everyone knows everything.  Nothing confusing lies to misguide us as we've been in the past.  All is set and ready."  

"Is that all she said?" questioned Sakura.  

"No."

"Will you tell me?" she asked.  

"Maybe one day."  

Sakura smiled.  "Can you ask Syaoran to come back into the room?"  

"Yes, of couse, my love."  

"Wait."

"Yes Sakura?"

"My love?"

"I love you not only because of her, but because of you yourself."

"Dangyun…"

"I'll bring Syaoran in now.  You are about to tell us are you not, your decision?"

"Yes."

"Then let me go get Syaoran."  

His rational words brought back a sense of calm to her.  She didn't know yet.  She didn't know anything yet.  But she knew she had to make up her mind soon.  And she knew exactly what she would tell them.  Yes, she knew exactly what she would tell them once they both entered the room.  She heard the door clicked as it closed and she smiled at both of them.  

"I've made up my mind," she told them.

She watched as both of them seemed to be holding their breath.  

"I would like to a week to think about things in the quiet.  I don't want to see either of you until I am done and have made up my mind.  It's for the best.  If I cannot think of my decision by myself, then I won't ever come to the right conclusion because when I'm around both of you my mind gets foggy and unclear and I'm not sure of myself anymore.  I'd like to know that who I choose I can devote myself entirely too.  

"Is that okay?"

"Of course it is," Dangyun responded.  

"Yes," Syaoran answered.  

"Thank you."  

**Story Note:**  I lied again.  There should be two more chapters after this.  I tried and I tried, but I really can't make chapters 5,000 words long even as hard as I tried.  I was suppose to end after the flashback, since this was only suppose to be a flashback chapter, but I was on a roll and I thought I'd actually make it to the end, but blegh, I can't seem to do that.  But this chapter is still the longest one in the series with 2,700 words so I didn't do too badly ^_^.  The next chapter should go through Sakura's thoughts and the last chapter should be really long.  I don't think Sakura's thoughts chapter will be more than 1,500 words so it will be a shortie which mean it might be out pretty soon!

**Author's Note:**  This will be short.  R/R please and if you leave an email I'll tell you of the next update and when my Eriol x Sakura fanfic will be released.  (below is a short excerpt following the Omake).  

_The_ Omake **3** (sexy shirtless Dangyun)

**WARNING:** This _DOES_ make SEXUAL INNUENDOS, so if you can't handle it don't read it.  The author takes no responsibility for the "damage" reading this may do to a young, innocent mind.  This is just for the FUN and a new insight of what happens when the characters are allowed to be **_FREE_** from the Author's guidance…

Production of the i of Yih, in cooperation of Y and h of Yih.

Thank you for reading this mad prop!  

© December 2001 Youth imagination hope of Yih.  

All rights are reserved by Yih.  

[CURTAIN RISES.]

"Oh my god!  Oh my god!" cried out Faa, who was _hallucinating_.  

"Oh my god!  **Oh my god**!" exclaimed Siwan, who was dreaming.  

"_WHAT_?!" shouted Dangyun as he approached the two of them with his **shirt** unbuttoned.  

"He still has his shirt on," _whined_ Siwan.

"Yeah, he still have his shirt on," **_blustered_** Faa.

"What are you **two** talking about?"

The two of them exchanged a **devilish** look before running at Dangyun at full speed and _ripping_ off his shirt.  

"**_Muahahahaha_**!" laughed the evil doers of crime, holding his torn shirt gleefully.  

"Awwwwww!" Dangyun yelped as his hands covered his well toned, muscular chest.  "Don't look at me!  Don't look at me you _perverts_!  You **_hentais_**!"  

"Oooh, look at that," giggled Siwan as she pointed at Dangyun's nipple.  "He's _cold_."

"Why don't we warm him up?"

"What?!"

They charged at him again this time armed with cups of **_scathing_** hot chocolate which they poured on to his skin causing Dangyun to shot in _agony_.  "No wonder I _killed_ you," he moaned at Faa.  "No wonder I **banished** you," he griped to Siwan.  

"Hahahahhahahahahah!" cackled the two _dark_ devilry **makers**.  

[CURTAIN FALLS.]

_The _Omake **3** End

Note: Please review again if YOU can to tell me if I should keep doing FUN OMAKES @ the end… (I know signed reviews can't review again, oh well ^_^;;).  I think this may be too extreme for some of you, just enjoy it though!  

A short excerpt from **Part 1** (of an Eriol x Sakura fanfic in the making)

Disclaimer:  All rights are Clamp.  

The black and white contrast of her milky skin to the dark mystery of her eyes sent a spark of pure desire down his spine.  There was only one perfect soul and he was staring into her loveliness right now.  The beauty of her physical glory made him yearn, but the sheer sweetness of her sensitive spirit made him ache.  There wasn't anything that he wouldn't do for her given the chance.  

Now there just had to be a way to express the raging emotions trapped within his outer façade of cheerful contentedness.  Yes, there had to be a way to tell her just how he felt about her.  But the question was how?  Did he tell her directly how he felt, or should he try for a more subtler approach?  How did should he go about telling the objection of his affection his undying adoration of her?  Especially when she was the ever optimistic and totally clueless Sakura.

"Sakura…" he whispered her name romantically, the deep intonation vibrating a particular kind of warmth.  "I… I…" his voice trailed off as his words were sucked away by the captivation he had with the purity of her aura.  "I like you.  

"No—no," he rushed, "I really like you.  No that's not right either.  I—I love you, Sakura."  


	22. Finding Fate

Title:  **Reminiscent (22)**

Author:  Yih

Written: January 2002

Dedication:  To all my loyal fans, thanks a million!

Disclaimer:  All rights are Clamp except for ACC- Dangyun, Faa, Siwan, Shaolin, Tooya, Tooya 2, Fukumi, Saisei, and Tanpopo.  

It starts with  
One thing I don't know why  
It doesn't even matter how hard you try  
Keep that in mind I designed this rhyme  
To explain in due time  
All I know  
Time is a valuable thing  
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings  
Watch it count down to the end of the day  
The clock ticks life away…

Chapter  22 

"Windy, Firey, Watery, Earthy… you are the four most powerful cards in the deck, then comes Light and Dark… different but just as strong," murmured Sakura.  "I want you six to do me a favor, combined with the power of Mirror I want you to answer my question of what lies in the future."  She clutched the seven cards closely to her chest.  "I know it is much to ask of you.  But you six are my strongest cards and with mirror, I want to see it as an observer… almost as if I'm there."  

She threw the cards in the air, beginning to chant softly, letting the cards spin around her:  

_"Through the light of the day,_

_Grant me a new way,_

_By using these six cards,_

_Allow me to break the wards,_

_Of time, space, and travel…_

_Let me see my life ten years hence,_

With Syaoran, I seek this presence…" 

The mirror card appeared in the form of a tall dresser mirror that swirled into grayish life before clearing up into a picturesque setting of leafing trees, blossoming flowers, and laughing children.  One boy and one girl, the boy being much taller obviously older than the little girl.  What struck Sakura was the color of the girl's golden eyes.  They reminded her of Syaoran distinctively.  But her fair hair was a replica of Sakura's own.  However, the boy was much different in coloring being dark in hair and having equally dark eyes.  

"Nii-chan!" yelled the little girl.  "Nii-chan, wait for me!  You've got longer legs than I do!  I can't run as fast as you can.  Wait for me, nii-chan!"  

"You're too slow, Tanpopo!" shouted the boy, but he slowed down from his running to wait for his sister at the top of the hill.  And when he looked down, the natural beauty wrapped around an idealistic house lost in the overgrown wildness.  "Hurry up, kaiju!"  

"Stop calling me that!" screamed Tanpopo.  "My name's Tanpopo!"  

"It's not like you can do anything about it," smirked the boy.  "I'm bigger than you, kaiju!  I'll always be bigger than you!"  

"No!" she denied fiercely.  "I'm going to grow up bigger than you so I can stomp you into the ground with my feet!"  

"Stop talking," he commanded, "Your kaasan wanted us to be home at four because you tousan was coming home early today, don't you remember?  We get to go to the Zoo today!  And you get to see your favorite animal, the elephants.  You were really excited about this a few days ago when they told us."  

"I forgot," she admitted sheepishly.  "But you shouldn't call me kaiju," she pouted.  

"Gomen," he muttered gruffly, swirling her hair around when she reached his side.  "Get on my back, it'll be quicker.  Besides, you're really clumsy running down a hill.  I wouldn't want you to get hurt would I?"  

Tanpopo smiled and climbed onto her older brother's back, getting the piggyback ride she enjoyed so much, but he rarely gave her one now since he was in high school.  He said he was too old for that kind of thing anymore.  "No, and you make me so happy when you do this, nii-chan," she cried out happily.  "I miss this.  I miss doing this with you.  I love you."  

"I know you do," he murmured, shaking his head so that his dark hair locks would tickle her face.  "I love you, too."  

"Stop that, nii-chan!  That tickles!" she said, giggling her joy.  

A fond smile lit up on his lips before he moved his long legs faster to cover the ground quickly.  It didn't take him too much time to carry her up the hill that their home was set upon and when he opened the door, his smile was even bigger.  "Sakura-san," he greeted her warmly, "I'm sorry that I'm late to bring home, Tanpopo.  But her short legs slow us down."  

"Kaasan!" she shouted happily, jumping into Sakura's open arms.  "Nii-chan gave me a piggyback ride!  Did you see me?  We were flying down the mountain faster than Uncle Yue can soar through the sky.  Nii-chan has really long legs, but I'm going to grow bigger than him so I can stomp on him, right?"  

"Now why would you want to do that to your, nii-chan?" Sakura asked, looking at him with understanding in her eyes.  

"Because he called me a kaiju," tattled Tanpopo.  

"He doesn't mean," Sakura assured her.  "It's just his way of telling you he loves you.  People don't give nicknames to people they don't like, do they?  Why would want to come up with the effort?  Besides, being a kaiju isn't too bad.  My nii-chan use to call me that all the time.  But really, do you want to tell you a secret, my little sweet?"  

"Tell me!  Tell me!"  

"I think my nii-chan is a big bear, so he must be the monster," stated Sakura as seriously as she could for her adorable little girl.  

"And he," pointed the little girl, "is always a big, gruffy bear with me.  So does that make him the kaiju and not me?"  

"Yes," Sakura answered, laughing, "yes, he's the kaiju and not you."  

"I don't believe I'd have come here if I was going to be called a kaiju," he miffed.  "Where is Li-san, anyways?"  

"Working," Sakura responded with a sigh.  "He's working as usual.  But he did say he was coming back at four and since I know he never goes back on his word, and he's remarkably on time… I say he'll show up pretty soon."  

"Unlike you?" he teased.  

"Yes, unlike me," she affirmed while Tanpopo wiggled in her arms before launching herself at her nii-chan.  "Where are you going, my little sweet?"  

"I want nii-chan to give me a piggyback ride to my room so I can pick up my camera that Aunt Tomoyo gave me!" exclaimed Tanpopo.  "Is Uncle Kero coming?  How about Uncle Yue and Aunt Tomoyo?  Is Uncle Touya coming?"  

"No," her kaasan replied, "it's just me, tou-san, and niichan.  Uncle Yue and Uncle Kero are visiting Uncle Eriol, remember?"  

"Oh, I forgot," responded the young girl, looking abashed as usual at her wandering mind.  "I guess I got too excited thinking about the zoo and all the wonderful elephants."  

"Well, she wasn't that excited," he whispered into Sakura's ear.  "She'd forgotten she was going just five minutes ago."  

Tanpopo squeezed her arms around his neck.  "You don't have go blabbing everything to kaa-san!" she told him loudly.  "Besides," her voice lowering to a rather soft whisper, "I only forgot because you called me a 'kaiju,' if it wasn't for you—I wouldn't have forgotten!  So there!"

"You never said it was because of that," he reminded her.  "You just said you forgot, plain and simple," he said with a grin.  

"Just take me to my room!" she yelled.  

"Your wish is my command, kaiju," he teased affectionately.  

Tanpopo's kaasan shook her head watching those two together. But she paused looking around the room as if she sensed a presence other than her own, yet the smile on her face was content and peaceful as if she knew who was there staring down upon the seen.  She didn't have to say a word, between the past Sakura and the future Sakura was a deep understanding and knowledge.  However, the moment of peace and clarity quickly faded when they came back into the room.  

"I've got my camera!" 

"Yes, it took her a while to find it," he accused, "because she forgot where she put it."  

Tanpopo hit him on top of the head.  "Too much information!" she squealed at him.  "You don't have to tell kaasan everything!"

"Ooowwww," he complained, "you really are going to be a kaiju if you continue hitting me on the head that hard!"  

"My little sweet is forgetful like I'm always tardy," Sakura mused, ruffling her daughter's hair.  "It's an adorable fault as long as she gets better as she gets older.  She's only six years old, she has time to remember things.  It's important to be innocent for as long as you can," she murmured, directing the comment to the boy holding her little girl.  

"It won't work on me, Sakura-san," he said softly.  "I'm no longer innocent, but Tanpopo-chan will remain so for far longer than you ever were," he told her with excruciating wisdom in his voice.  

"No, no grown up talk," Tanpopo complained, smacking her nii-chan's cheeks.  "I don't understand what you're talking about, it goes into my ears but I don't understand!"  

Her cute expressions were interrupted when the door flew open.  Sakura quickly turned around and ran to the door, leaping on the tall figure in the doorway.  "Syaoran!" she exclaimed happily, while Tanpopo watched in her nii-chan's tightening arms the scene she saw virtually everyday from the same viewpoint.  "How was your day at work?" her kaasan asked her tousan. 

"Good, good," he answered with a grin.  "Ready to go to the zoo, Tanpopo?"

"Yes!" she answered excitedly, jumping from her nii-chan's arms.  "I'm ready!  I'm ready to go to zoo to see the big elephants!  Let's go right away!"  

Syaoran stepped into the dimness of the room from the blinding sunlight outside, and it took his eyes a moment to adjust to shade.  His mouth pressed flat into a line when he saw who was across the room.  He released his arms from Sakura's still youthful body and kissed her forehead, whispering softly, "What is he—doing here?"  

"He's Tanpopo's friend," she explained simply.   

"You know I don't like him very much," Syaoran reminded her.  

"My little sweet," said Sakura holding her daughter up, "do you want your nii-chan to go to the zoo with us?"  

"Of course!" she yelled.  "I get a long, long piggyback ride!"  

Sakura's smile was disarming and Syaoran's tense shoulders relaxed as he gave in.  "Fine," he grumbled, kissing Sakura's lips briefly, "but I still don't like him."  

"I know," Sakura responded, "but he's good to Tanpopo.  And he understands better than anybody our situation in life."  

"Well," declared Syaoran, "we'd better get going before it closes."  

Tanpopo wiggled out of her kaasan's arms and grabbed her hand, leading Sakura out of the house to the family car.  Syaoran turned back after waiting a few seconds, asking brusquely, "Are you coming, Tooya?"  

"Yes," he answered.  "I wouldn't want to disappoint, Tanpopo, would I?"  

"No, you wouldn't would you?" 

Sakura gasped as she came out of the feeling of being there in the future, feeling like she had just stepped out of a wholly different sort of dream.  She whispered softly, "Dangyun… Tooya…  It couln't be, could it?"  She touched the mirror whimsically before it disappeared and turned back into the Sakura Card it was.  "And she knew… my future self knew I was there.  But I suppose that would be logical, wouldn't it?  I'm not as forgetful as Tanpopo--  oh my beautiful daughter, my beautiful baby girl.  I called her 'my little sweet.'  Oh," she murmured to herself, hugging her body with her arms.  "It was so surreal and heartwarming to see.  Tanpopo reminds me of myself.  But I need to see more.  I need to see what it would be like with him…"  

She picked up the seven cards that had magically floated to the ground.  She threw them up again into the air, having them circle around her as she chanted her magical spell:  __

_Through the dark of the night,_

_I gather my star's light,_

_To use these six cards,_

_To break the wards,_

Of time, space, and travel… 

_Let me see my life ten years hence,_

_With Dangyun, I wish to see my life thence…_

While the other six entities spun around her, the mirror card landed on a table and transformed itself into a large bowl of water where an image of silver and grey eventually turned into color and Sakura lost herself… and her mind… and her spirit into the future that could possibly be…  

"Otousan!" chirped a sweet girl's voice, running up to a tall, cloaked figure.  "Otousan, look at what Siwan showed me what to do!"

Dangyun turned around with a fond smile on his face.  "What is it my Fukumi?"  

His daughter, the very image of Sakura, except for her black hair which she obviously inherited from himself.  But her color of her emerald eyes still struck him the similarities between the two of them.  "Look!" she exclaimed, twirling around in a sort of fairy dance he often seen Siwan do.  "I can dance like Siwan!  Isn't it pretty?"  

"Yes, it's beautiful.  Where is Siwan, anyways?" he inquired, holding up his small four year old daughter.  "She's with neesan and okaasan.  They're making pretty, pretty cookies for me to eat!  I'm hungry, why don't we find them?"  

"Soon.  Wait a minute, okay?"  

"Okay, otousan," agreed the complacent child who sat down on her otousan's stool.  

Dangyun smiled and returned to what he had been writing down in his book, his book of magic.  He felt he had been spending forever trying to finish it, but it was almost done.  All he had to was write the final words… The End.  It was also his autobiography… telling the story of his life… of his trials… of his journey to find Faa's reincarnation… and his evil intentions.  But in this book… and in these words… he hoped he had made clear that in the end, everything was made right.  

"I'm finished," he murmured to Fukumi.  "Let's go find, okaasan and Saisei."  

"Don't forget, Siwan!" she reminded her father pointedly.  "She's suppose to teach me how to enchant a frog!"  

"Oh, I could never Siwan, but…" his voice trailed off while he finished scribbling his name in the corner of the book, "I really need to remind her that I'd rather not have her teach you fairy type spells.  If you're going learn magic Fukumi, please wait until you're at least five years old?  Please?"  

"Oh… alright," she agreed reluctantly.  "But when I turn five, you're going to teach me how to enchant a frog!"  

"No problem," he responded seriously.  "I'll teach much more than that."  

Sakura walked in on them, seeing her husband bending over to Fukumi's level as if they were planning a conspiracy.  "What are you two doing?"  

Siwan and Saisei popped their heads behind Sakura's back, while Dangyun straightened out his still fine figure.  "Oh, we were just coming to look for you, my love," he murmured, reaching out for her hand to pull her into a sweet embrace.  "I love you," he whispered, kissing her briefly on the lips, knowing this was neither the time nor the place for anymore.  Siwan and Saisei giggled in the background, but Fukumi just looked at her otousan's workplace with adulation.  

"Well, with the help of Siwan and Saisei," said Sakura, slightly breathless, "we've made a delicious plate of cookies for you.  So why don't we have a snack?"  

"I finished it," he told her.  "I finally finished it."  

"That's good.  Then you can start writing my book of magic," she declared raising her hand in the air triumphantly.  

"You lazy, lazy girl," he teased, a glint in his eyes.  "You know you have to write that sooner or later.  If not for me, but for Fukumi and Saisei… they need to see the difference between our way of practicing magic.  And where is Yue anyways?  I want to have a talk to him about keeping a better watch on Fukumi and Siwan, you know how much mischief those two can get into, especially since Fukumi can wrap Siwan around her little pinky."  

"I know, I know," Sakura replied, "but Yue gave me such a pathetic expression this morning, I relieved him of babysitting duties today.  Kero was suppose to be watching them, but I think he's raiding his stash of candy again."  

Dangyun shook his head with amusement as he lowered himself down to his knees and offered to carry Fukumi and Saisei to the kitchen.  Sakura watched them with a tender expression on her face while Siwan landed on her shoulder.  Saisei reminded her so much of Dangyun, it unnerved at times, but both of their children had that insatiable drive and ambition that he had.  And she could see some of herself in each of them, especially her youngest.    
"Thinking again?" inquired Siwan.  

"Yes, I was thinking how much Saisei reminds me of Dangyun."  

"Yes," agreed Siwan, "but Fukumi is much like you, you know.  Both of them have distinct attributes, you both have given them.  They are two very special girls."  

"Yes, they are, aren't they?"  

"I'm so happy," she murmured, "I never thought it would be this way."  

"The road never looks quite the same at the end as it does in the beginning."  

"Are you two coming?" asked Dangyun with his two lovely daughters hanging onto their respective claimed sides.  "These two ragamuffins are going to tear me up soon with hunger if you two take too long getting to the kitchen!" he warned, whistling as he walked away.  

"Shall we join them?" Siwan asked, noticing the abstract look on Sakura's face.  

"Yes, but can you give me a moment?"  

"Yeah," Siwan replied.  "Oh, I thought, I'd tell," she confessed, "I taught Fukumi a little spell that I told her to swear not to tell her otousan.  It might pop up now and then and… cause him to get angry at me."  

"What was it?"  

"I taught her the 'floating spell.'  The only problem… I didn't teach her the 'undoing the floating spell.'  That might be a problem, huh?"  

Sakura laughed.  "Yes, that might be a problem.  But don't worry you can teach the undoing spell on the sly.  I don't mind at all.  We'll just let Dangyun think that Saisei learned her first spell from him, that'll be our little secret."    
Siwan grinned and flew out of the door, but paused just outside the doorway.  "Do you still need a minute?"

"Yes.  I'll be there soon."  

"Okay," Siwan replied cheerfully, flying out the room.  

Sakura smiled and looked up into the ceiling of Dangyun's workroom.  It seemed as she was saying that as the Sakura before, she knew exactly that there was something—some presence in this room.  It was eerie as it was strange, and it was comforting as it was reassuring at the same time.  The softness of the smile was also heartwarming, but as before this Sakura said nothing to the past Sakura looking down.  But she did stare overly long into the ceiling before looked down with a peaceful look on her face.  

"FUKUMI, who taught you that?" yelled Dangyun.  

Sakura smiled, it looked like Siwan's confession hadn't come a moment too soon.  

And the present Sakura smiled.  She'd just like to imagine the look on Dangyun's face, but it had ended all too quickly.  The atmosphere in each had been beautiful and happy, everything that she could have ever wanted.  Now, all she had to do was make up her mind.  That was going to be the hard part.  She glanced down at the seven cards that had nicely stacked themselves into the palm of her hand.  

"Thank you," she whispered to the cards.  "Thank you for letting see what could be.  It helped to know that either way I choose, I will be happy.  Now, I just have to think of how to make everyone happy.  My happiness is not enough if I can't give the same gift to others.  I could never hurt anyone, and thanks to you, I know that either future is lovely beyond compare."  

She set the cards down onto the table and walked to her window.  She bit down on her lip, thinking hard on her decision, analyzing what she had just said before.  The moon was no longer glowing in the night, she had used up her week.  Tomorrow she would have to give her decision to Syaoran and Dangyun—breaking someone's heart.  In the end, nothing is as easy as it seems, but she held on to that piece of advice Siwan had given her. 

"The road never looks quite the same at the end as it does in the beginning."  

"How true her words are," she reflected.  "I even know part of the beginning, but I won't quite know the end until I choose which road to take.  But I know now who I'm going to choose.  It really isn't even about worrying if I hurt someone anymore.  I shouldn't worry about that.  I can't worry about that anymore.  I have to know what I want and have them respect my decision.  Yes, I want to make everyone happy, but I can't.  The road is a bumpy ride, but in the beginning it seems like there's not possible path I can choose… but there is one.  I just have to find it and know it as I know it now.  

"And it's really as simple as this… I love him."  

**Character Note:** It's VERY VERY hard to create 3 totally different personas, even though I go only into detail with Fukumi and Tanpopo the most.  I still had to create Saisei in my head.  By the way, isn't Tooya droolable *drooolssss* Anyway, I'd thought I'd let you know that DANGYUN'S picture of what he looks like is on my website.  http://www.seiki.f2s.com/images/dangyun.jpg ! (check it out and comment on him please!)  And what the hell do these names… mean?  [and why I chose them?!]

Tanpopo (Daisy) It was a flower name, and she's just plain adorable!  

Saisei (Rebirth, Reincarnation, Return to Life) Very self explanatory.  

Fukumi (Hidden Meaning) This is harder… it's because Sakura was the 'hidden meaning' of Dangyun's life.  

**Author's Note:** One more chapter and I'm done *sings and dances* If I'm cruel… I'll do it on the anniversary of when Reminiscent first got started… but I'm not (hopefully –twists fingers-)  I don't know how long the last chapter's going to be, but this one was pretty darn long. –counts- 3,500+ words which is like 2 chapters of Reminiscent ^^;; I was going to split it up… I could have, right?  But you guys have been such great reviewers I decided to give you an extra long treat!  I can't believe you guys reviewed so much for the last chapter I'm overwhelmed and so very happy with all your responses.  Please tell me what you think okay?  I live for it!  


	23. Circling

Title:  **Reminiscent (23)**

Author:  Yih

Written:  January 2002/February 2002

Disclaimer:  All rights are Clamp except ACC-Dangyun, Siwan, Shaolin, Faa, Tooya, Tooya 2, Tanpopo, Fukumi, and Saisei.  

Visit my website at: http://www.seiki.f2s.com 

**Author's Note:**  Please review since I spent an awfully long time deciding to make this one entire chapter instead of three longer, torturous chapters, okay?  I'm trying to be nice for once!  I know since this is the end of the story, you don't have to review anymore to get what you want, but if anyone wants me to make a sequel then R/R please, I love hearing your comments because they help me so much with my writing.  Thanks to all my reviewers… you've been great.  One question I'd like you to answer: should I keep the sequel (if I write it) as a continuation of this or start a new story?  Basically should I break it up to another story or keep it within this story fold?  I'm thinking of breaking it up…  Oh and please tell me who wants to join my "mailing list" that I'm creating for anyone who wants to know when any of my CCS series are updated, thanks!  

Part 23

"It's time."  

She sighed inexplicably because of because.  It wasn't a sigh of dread or apprehension, she had been given a week more than a fair amount of time to decide.  And she had decided.  With Siwan's words of wisdom, she knew that no matter what choice she made the future was uncertain, but one thing was certain no matter who her choice was—she was going to be happy.  She smiled contentedly and peacefully, a feeling that had overwhelmed for the last few days of being unable to hurt either of the men she loved.  

But there was one man that she loved.  And then there was the man that she loved.  Of course she wanted to be able to live with the one she loved, but what she wanted even more was not to be able to live without him.  In that respect, there was only one man that she knew that could fulfill that desire in her.  The smile bloomed on her face like a cherry blossom in the spring at the thought of him.  

It made her sad to think of the other one, the one she hadn't chosen but there was no helping it.  She simply didn't want to think of the consequences anymore.  She had made up her mind and that was that.  There was no going back; there was no thinking about it; there was no regretting her decision.  If was she going to do that, she might as well lock herself up in closet and never come out again.  Eventually, one person was going to get hurt no matter what she did.  And telling them sooner was going to be better than later.  

A knock on her door, outside the room she had considered her sanctuary for the past week, disturbed her train of thought.  "Who is it?" she queried.  "Whose there?  You can enter, the door's unlocked"  

"Me, Mistress," Yue replied gently, opening the door to show her his face.  "It's Yue."  

"Yue," greeted Sakura cheerfully, "I didn't know you were here."  

Yue smiled back softly.  "Eriol asked us to come.  He wanted to make sure that you didn't need any more time.  He's waiting outside on the porch whenever you're ready to go.  Kero has something to say to you before we all leave, but I won the coin toss that allowed me to have my say first.  If I may…?"  

"Yes?" 

He reached down to grasp her hands in his and squeeze them warmly.  "I just want to let you know, Sakura," he told her in a warm voice, "that no matter who you choose, it will always be right.  Nothing matters more to me than your happiness, you have to know that.  You may think that we expect a decision, but I know I don't and I'm reasonably sure that no one else does.  We just want you to be happy Sakura."  

She beamed radiantly at him.  "I know you all do.  And I'm sure my decision is right.  I could never be content if I didn't choose him.  Sometimes, when I think of my decision that I made a few days ago… I wonder if it's the right choice.  But then I ask myself, can I live with him?  I don't know.  But then I have to ask myself, can I live without him?  No, I cannot imagine my life without him.  That makes my heart ache to think of that possibility and then I know again that my choice is the only way to go."  

"I'm glad that you know your answer," he responded.  "I'm sure that it's the right one.  Let me call in Kero."  

Yue left with all the grace of movement that he always had.  She didn't hear him call for Kero, but she heard the sound of her other guardian's distinct accent.  She smiled fondly as Kero burst through the door into her room, launching himself fully into her open and welcoming arms.  She laughed gleefully at the tears of joy forming in Kero's eyes at seeing her for the first time in a week, the longest time period they had ever been separated from each other.  

"I missed you so much!" he exclaimed.  "Next time you do anything that takes this long, you're bringing me with you!  None of your cooking," he moaned in anguish, "and not being with you made me realize how important you are in my life, Sakura.  You promise me, you'll never leave me alone with Yukito and Touya for more than a day at a time, especially when your otousan isn't there… promise me!"  

Sakura giggled and nodded her agreement, hugging Kero to her side.  "I'm sure it wasn't that bad," she finally responded when she could stop laughing at the utterly horrified look on his stuffed animal face.  "Well, it couldn't be that bad."  

"No," Kero admitted, "it wasn't that bad.  But it was bad.  It wasn't that Yukito's cooking was bad, but considering how much he likes to eat—you'd think he'd cook better!  It was just, those two can never get their hands off each other.  I don't mind the affection, but they display too much of it.  It's worse than when you and Syaoran are together!"  

"Now really?" she inquired curiously.  

"Yes, really!" he exclaimed vehemently.  

"But," she began, "I don't think this is the reason you asked Eriol and Yue for a chance to speak with me privately though, is it?"  

"No, it isn't," Kero answered sincerely.  "I wanted to talk to you about—about… your choice.  I know that by now you're already made your decision, but I just wanted to let you know that I have no hard feelings at all whatsoever to Syaoran or Dangyun and that whoever you pick is perfectly fine by me.  I really don't have a bias," he disclosed.  "But I kind of want to know whether they cook well or not…"  

Sakura chuckled with amusement before squeezing Kero toward her.  "I know how important your tummy is to you," she said pointedly, rubbing his stomach.  "But I really don't know how either of them cooks.  But they both probably at least know how to cook somewhat well since they've both lived alone as bachelors for an extended period of time."  

"Well," Kero declared, "that isn't very important.  You still have to make your pancakes whoever you decide to marry!"  

Sakura's eyes widen at his last words.  "Who ever said I was getting married?"

"Isn't this what this decision is about?" Kero asked, utterly clueless that it was not.  

"No!  No!" she cried out.  "No, it's about who I want to be with… Kero."  

"Isn't that the same thing?" he queried, making a good point.  

And Sakura had to confess to herself that Kero had made a startling revelation about her decision.  She had never thought about it that way, that by making her choice she was basically saying she was going to marry the man.  But as she thought about it more and more, the more it made sense to her.  After all, she had been considering spending her life with him and that was basically the same thing as what Kero was purposing.  

"Yes," she finally answered.  

Kero gave her a big grin.  "I knew I wasn't all the way wrong!"

"I just never thought of my decision as making a decision on who I was going to marry," Sakura divulged sheepishly.  "But you made a good rational comment.  Of course that doesn't change my decision whatsoever because I was already considering along those terms without considering it within that particular choice of words.  It's funny I hadn't thought of it actually when I've been thinking of so many other things along those lines!"  

Even going back into the past, she thought, smiling wryly.  I even went back into the past, and saw myself married to each of them with such adorable children.  Tanpopo, you reminded me of myself.  Fukumi and Saisei, both were darling creatures that I could see as my own children when I have them.  And both times, I could see the joy that my future brought to myself.  I know any path I choose will be right and that the path I've chosen now is the right one because I'm not hesitating nor am I contemplating changing my mind.  It is what it is.  

"Sakura?" murmured Kero with concern, seeing her eyes glaze over as if she was in another world.  

"What?" she asked, her eyes clearing up.  "Oh, I'm sorry Kero, I was just thinking about some things."  

Kero smiled at her, wondering what she had been daydreaming about.  "Sakura…, I know I shouldn't ask this and you don't have to answer if you don't want to, but… who did you choose?  You know curiosity comes with being a cat and all, and I am a lion in my other form," his voice was slightly pleading, he was dying to know who she had chosen, but he was perfectly fine if she didn't want to tell him.

"I'll can't tell you yet, Kero," Sakura replied, her eyes soft with understanding and slightly sad that she couldn't answer his question.  

"No! That's alright," Kero responded quickly, patting her awkwardly on the back.  "I'll find out soon enough.  As anxious as I am to find out, I'm sure Dangyun and Syaoran must really be killing to find out, and here I am holding you back so that they have to wait longer!  You'd better go meet Eriol outside so he can escort you to his house.  That's where everyone's meeting.  Well, that's where everyone has been staying since you've been staying here."  

"Thanks, Kero for being so understanding."

"No problem," he replied, pushing open the door for her to walk through.  "Yue and I will follow you shortly back to Eriol's mansion, but he has some special conveyance set up for you.  A spell of sorts, I suppose, considering he is Clow Reed's incarnation."  

Sakura nodded and kissed the top of his head before walking out of the room she had considered her sanctuary for this past week, the room she had slept in all her life.  She walked down the hallway then down the stairs, taking each step reminded her of the gravity of her decision.  It hit her more and more, compounding with each downward step.  She reached the bottom of the stairs and turned to the direction of the front door, about to open it when Eriol pushed it open for her.  

"Long discussions," he noted.  

"Yes," she responded, not sure of what to say to him.  

"It doesn't matter either way with me," he told her bluntly.  "I'm sure the other two told you the same."  When she nodded in the affirmative, about to ask him how he knew, he continued before she could ask, "The two of them were talking about it the whole way here—in the car.  I drove them," he explained.  "But I know that any decision you make is the right one.  Don't let your conscious nag you and make you doubt yourself because the first instinct is always right."  

Sakura hugged him and kissed his cheek.  "I know, Eriol.  I know," she murmured.  "I've thought about this for the longest time.  It wasn't just this week, I've been doing this inner battle inside myself ever since Shaolin arrived into this world.  But it became worse when Dangyun arrived.  And then, the thoughts of both of them—Dangyun and Syaoran overwhelmed me.  I've finally made my choice after agonizing over it and I knew it the first day.  The rest of the week was just to calm my nerves and not go back on the decision I knew was right.  My conscious did nag, and my mind did doubt, but I didn't change my mind.  I went for what I felt in my gut and if it's right, it's right, if it's wrong, it's wrong.  Whose to know?"  

"No one," he answered.  "No one at all.  No one can judge whether you choice is right or wrong, it is simply your choice.  It's who you love and you don't choose who you love and who you cannot live without.  It just is."  

His very words penetrated Sakura's heart and caused a few tears to form in her eyes.  She had been thinking of those exact words moments earlier when she was alone, and to hear it voiced eloquently by one of her closest friends made the wisdom of the words only stronger and convinced only more than what she was doing was more than right.  It was what was meant to be.  

"Eriol," she stated in a firm voice, "I'm ready."  

"I was waiting to hear you say that," he replied.  "Hold my hand and we'll be off."  

She held onto his hand, feeling him squeeze her comfortingly as they stepped off the porch simultaneously, he leading her into another dimension.  For a moment she thought she was traveling to the future, but no the feel was different.  She didn't feel like death's claws were trying to grip and rip at her.  Instead she felt an inner peace, a quality of contented as the time seemed to whirl to complete and utter halt.  She wondered for instant if he was taking her some place other than his mansion when the doors to the light opened and they fell from the sky to the greenness of the earth.  She gripped his hand tightly, though not in fear but for the strangeness of the situation.  

And then another door opened up, this time of a paleness that enveloped them and brought safely to the earth.  She settled and moved her feet, testing the firmness of this ground and found it exactly the same.  Eriol grinned at her, seeing her reaction and joked, "Who says humans cannot fly on their own willpower?"  

Sakura laughed softly and shook her head with her mirth.  "No one that has ever met you would say that, Eriol.  You could make angels dance with your smile," she declared cheerfully, for instant forgetting that the only angel that he wanted to make dance was her.  A twisted look pass over his face but he covered it up quickly before she even saw it.  "Now, where is everyone?"  

"Inside," he remarked, his voice having lost its edge of merriment, though still quite teasing in its way.  "They're all inside.  But I figure that you'll probably just want to talk to Syaoran and Dangyun, am I right?"  When she nodded he winked at her, a bit of his happiness for her joy resurfacing.  "And I'll try to keep your oniichan at bay until you finish talking to them and telling them of your decision.  He's been pretty insufferable the past few days, especially since Yue has been so anxious for you that he hasn't allowed himself to relax and go back into Yukito-mode.  And that has only made your oniichan more edgy.  Yukito seems to have quite a stabling effect on him."  

"Yes, I would agree," she said wryly.  "Yukito does help my niichan relax, especially when they're alone together."  She flushed wildly after she said.  "But… ahhh," and her voice just died as her face was stained with the blood rushing to her head, "it's not like… I've seen them like that—together, I mean."  

"I know what you mean," Eriol said gently.  "I'm sure they're not as uncomfortable as you are about their special situation," he taunted relentless, trying to get the awkward feeling out of himself.  "I mean they're pretty blatant about their relationship from what I've seen…," he voice trailing off suggestively.  "But I'm sure you've seen much more than I have, since he's your oniichan and all." 

"Eriol!" Sakura exclaimed, her face flushing to a pink pallor.  She then laughed, chuckling with the hilarity of the situation.  "Yes, they are pretty open with their relationship, but I don't mind it at all.  They're so in love that all I can see is the beauty of it."  

"You would," he whispered softly, reaching up to caress her cheek but managed to resist that urge.  "You see the beauty in all things and that's why everyone loves you as much as they do.  You really are something special, Sakura—someone that knows the good and does the good, selflessly and generously.  If you only knew how other people saw you, then perhaps you might understand.  But different eyes see in different ways, and I cannot tell you how you embody all the graces of humanity."  

"I am not that special," Sakura protested.  

"I am not the only one that disagrees with you," Eriol told her.  "I can name many more than just the two men that love you with all their hearts that would agree with me."  He paused for a long moment, not knowing what to say before he added, "I think they will want to know your decision without me delaying it any further.  Would you like to tell them out here or in my private study?"  

Sakura closed her eyes for a brief second, breathing in the sweetness of the beautiful day.  "Out here," she responded, her eyes still closed as if she were meditating and concentrating all her energies into calming herself.  "I'd like to speak with them out here," she reaffirmed, her luminous emerald eyes opening up and staring into his with an intensity that he had never seen before in her.  

"I'll go get them."  

And with that he left her by herself, letting her suck in the freedom of the wind.  She wondered if she'd feel Faa's presence in the subtle breeze.  But she did not.  She felt nothing and everything all at once.  In this decision, she was ending everything and beginning everything.  Life was like an endless cycle that twisted and turned different ways, but always came back to where it started and where it ended.  

Love is everything, she thought to herself.  Love is all, all encompassing.  Love is beautiful; love is perfection; love is love.  And I love him, she affirmed poignantly.  I love him so much that I cannot imagine my life without him.  It would be too empty and too lonely.  But what about the other?  I love him, too and a part of me will always love him.  And the more I think of it, the more hesitant I am.  But I know my choice… I know that there is only one man that I cannot live without.  I love him because love is like the endless time.  It never goes away, just stays and accumulates.  How I love him… How I do…

"Sakura?" whispered a slightly husky that she knew was Syaoran.  

She whirled around, her face visibly surprised when she saw he was alone.  "Where is Dangyun?"  

He turned his face to the side, not wanting to let her see the tears that ran down his cheeks because the first thing she asked was of his rival and not of himself.  It took him moments to compose himself enough that his voice wouldn't betray him.  "He is coming.  He's just trying to get himself ready," he explained, thinking it odd that the normally collected Dangyun was actually more of a mess the last few days than he had been himself.  "It is the big moment, after all."  

Sakura nodded. 

"Sakura?"  

"Yes, Syaoran?" her voice saying his name so tenderly that for instant he wondered if it could be… that he was the one.  

"Can you tell me your decision?"  

"No.  Not until he comes."  

Syaoran closed his eyes in pain, forcing the tears that sprung up so readily.  He was so sure he wasn't the one, that it was hopeless.  That the road, he saw his life taking, seemed to lengthen by at least a tenfold.  He gulped down his misery and open his eyes that were as dry as when he had closed them.  He smiled half hearted at her, not attempting to get any closer to both the source of his joy and his sadness.  

"I'm sorry I took so long, making my decision."  

"No," he croaked, "it was worth the wait.  The wait was good."  

"I'm glad."  

"We needed the wait.  It made me realize that he really loves you, I wasn't sure of it.  But now I am."  

Sakura smiled beautifully, nearly tearing his heart out of chest with that simple gesture.  "I know.  And I know that you love me?"  

"With everything that is within me," he avowed.  "I never loved anyone as much as I love you—"

The rest of Syaoran's sweet confession was interrupted with the arrival of a rather disheveled Dangyun.  "I'm sorry I was late," he said hoarsely.  He pulled back his long strands, the redness of his eyes and the dull gray underneath his eyes indicated the hardships he had been through the past few days.  The sleeplessness, the anguish, the contemplation, the sadness, the guilt, and the agony of not knowing and of knowing.  "I had to… clean myself up."  

Her head slowly went up and down, her eyes taking in the horrible image of Dangyun.  It hurt to breath, and her shallow gasps calmed her down enough that she was able to meet his haunted, yet hopeful look.  She bit down hard on her bottom lip as she focused her eyes onto Syaoran's more calming ones.  Under his relaxed look, she herself was able to lessen the tension in her shoulders, but felt her muscles tighten when his eyes began searching her own for questions.  This was going to be a lot harder than she thought.  

"I've made up my decision," she said, breaking the suffocating silence.  "I'm sure you two want to know," she babbled.  "And I am ready to tell you both.  I can't tell you two enough that this was the hardest choice I ever had to make," she chattered on.  "But I'm sure that's not what either of you want me to say.  And yet, that's the truth all the same.  I know that my mind's made up and there's nothing either of you could do to make me change it.  I actually decided within the first two days I was in solitude who I knew I was going to spend the rest of my life with.  Then I spent the rest of the time, my mind agonizing away my doubts and my worries that my choice was wrong.  But I'm sure now.  Absolutely sure.  

"And Kero," her lips broke into a sunny smile, "hit a vein I hadn't considered that it wasn't just a choice that would affect me now, but affect me the rest of my life.  Of course, I had been thinking along those lines… I just hadn't thought of it in the way he put it.  Yue and Eriol were especially comforting when they all arrived to pick me, reassuring me that I was right," she murmured softly, her voice getting teary.  "And… I still can't bear to hurt anyone, but I have to, don't I?"  

Neither Dangyun or Syaoran could answer her because she already knew the answer.  Someone was going to get hurt no matter what.  Both of them held their breath expecting her to give her answer.   But whenever she tried to open her mouth to speak her muffled tears would ring out and she'd close her lips again, trying to get under control.  It went on and off like the endlessness of time because each time she was about to say something, the weakness in her voice would make her stop and crush their hearts and release their souls to the possibility that they still had a chance.  

"Don't… don't ever think--- I didn't love you both because--- I did," she began finally.  "And I have to tell you… that my… choice is-- I choose…" her voice trailed off shakily, and she looked with utter pain at both of them, doing the hardest thing she'd ever have to do, "I choose you, Syaoran.  You're the one I cannot live without."  

Syaoran fell to his knees in front of her, his arms wrapping around her unsteady legs.  But it was not his eyes that she searched for immediately after her declaration, she looked for Dangyun's whose eyes were complete voids.  She wanted to give him words that would alleviate the pain she saw.  She began to speak, but he lifted his hands and he said brokenly, "Don't.  Don't say anything.  I knew," he whispered painfully.  "I knew beforehand, but I still hoped.  That's why I was this way.  This haggard, this desolated before you even told us.  I knew and I know now that I'll never have you.  

"I do thank you for loving despite my grievances to you.  I can't thank you enough for all the goodness in your heart that you were somehow able to forgive me.  And you don't have to say anything, Sakura, my love, my beloved.  I don't want you to say you're sorry for choosing the one person that you cannot live without.  That would be selfish of me, and I've already been so selfish.  Try to think of yourself some time and not all of us.  Remember, one thing… I'll always love you, but I'm content now knowing that our souls that were once entwine no longer have a twisted bitterness that I caused and you solved.  I'm going to say good-bye now because I can't bear to say good-bye to you twice."  

He leaned over Syaoran's fallen form and kissed her on the forehead like a father or a brother might, but not as a lover, never as a lover again.  It was then that the subtle breeze Sakura had been feeling and had been thinking was Faa… was Faa.  She knew he didn't want her to say anything, but she had.  "She loved you no matter what you did to her.  She never hated you even one second of her life.  She wanted you to know that.  She forgave you, the second you forgave yourself."  

"Thank you," he replied hoarsely, "and good-bye."  

Sakura reached for him briefly with her arm, but he moved away from her before he saw her motion toward him.  She collapsed into Syaoran's open arms, weeping and crying for the grief she had caused him.  They stayed in each others arms for the longest time, Syaoran crying with relief that she had chosen him and not Dangyun, and Sakura weeping for the suffering each of them had gone through.  

When both of their tears had dried on their faces, Syaoran began kissing her everywhere.  His fluttery, light as air brushes of his lips filled her heart with a bursting of tenderness that made her fit her body into his like she and he were parts of souls and bodies that had finally found each other after the longest road traveled.  She kissed back with equal passion and fiery love.  It wasn't just a kiss of heated moment, but more of sealing of their boundless emotion.  

And she remembered the future she had witnessed being with Dangyun _without Syaoran_.  And that was when she knew that she couldn't live _without him.  _That even though the future had filled with happiness and laughing children--- Fukumi and Saisei--- even the smiling wisdom of Siwan--- and the beauty that was Dangyun, it wasn't the same _without Syaoran_.  She couldn't imagine life _without him_.  

"I love you," he whispered into her ear fiercely.  "I'll always love you."  

"I know," she murmured back.  "I love you, too."  

"I'll admit," he told her honestly, "I thought you were going to choose Dangyun."  

"Never," she responded quickly, "it was always you."  

"I know, now."  

They looked into each others eyes for a long second before Syaoran tipped his head down to capture Sakura's lips in an aching sweet kiss.  They kept this lip locked embrace for minutes at a time, pulling apart only to kiss each other more, pouring their love out in this loving way.  Finally, breaking apart for the last time, Sakura's eyes got teary once again.  

"I hate hurting anyone, especially Dangyun since he's gone through so much," she explained.  "But I guess, I couldn't help it could I?"  

"No," he replied, "you couldn't help it."  

"I know," she said sadly, "but that still doesn't make me feel better."  

He kissed both of her cheeks and stood up, helping her rise to her own feet.  "You should take to heart what Dangyun said you.  Try to think of yourself for once.  I know that it isn't much comfort to you, but you can't make everyone happy.  And if you're happy anyone who loves you as much as Dangyun does and I do will be happy for you.  I kept telling myself that if you chose Dangyun, I'd be happy for you anyways because you'd be happy."

Sakura was about to make a reply to him when she heard Eriol's distinct voice calling out to them, "He's leaving."  

She panicked when she heard him say.  She thought that Dangyun wouldn't be leaving at least for a few more days.  But her conscious nagged her into remembering his last words, _"I'm going to say good-bye now because I can't bear to say good-bye to you twice."  _She couldn't let him leave until she had said her good-byes.  She needed to say good-bye to him even if he didn't want to say good-bye to her.  

"Has he left yet?" she asked her voice cracking.  

"No, not yet."  

She squeezed Syaoran's hand reassuringly.  "I have to go to him," she stated.  "I have to go and tell him good-bye before he leaves."  

"Go," he told her with full confidence in her.  "Go before it's too late."  

She kissed him full on the lips and ran past where Eriol was standing where he told her that Dangyun was in his study ready to embark back to the past with Shaolin and Siwan.  After she had passed him, he stared into his descendant's eyes.  "So you were the one she chose," he remarked steadily.  "I thought she was going to choose you, but I wasn't sure.  I guess I knew all along.  I'm glad she chose you.  I'm happy for both of you."  

"That means a lot," Syaoran answered, "coming from you."  

"Are you going to up to my study to watch Dangyun depart?" he inquired.  

"No," Syaoran responded, "I'm not going to watch."  

Eriol shook his head in acknowledgement.  "Then, do you mind if I keep you company?"  

"No, not at all."  

"Ready?"  

"Yes, I'm as ready as I'll ever be," Shaolin said.  

Dangyun dropped his hands and waved at the mirror he'd use to cross between the space and time of his lifetime to the present lifetime.  Siwan hovered around him ready to give him aid if he needed it.  He threw her a small smile and grimaced as he concentrated his uncooperative mind on the task at hand.  He slowly managed to focus his power and his energies, tapping once into Siwan's reserves to complete the portal that provided the bridge between the past and the present.  

"It's done," he said haggardly, looking at the fruits of his labor.  "You go first," he ordered Siwan, "you'll help guide Shaolin, since you're use to this sort of thing."  

Siwan flew into the portal and disappeared.  Shaolin followed in after her without having to be told by him.  Dangyun watched to make sure they were both safely in before he himself stepped into the mirror.  Half of his body was in when he heard Sakura cry out to him, "Dangyun!  I had to come… please… I wanted to say good-bye."  He smiled a pathetic half smile, but he didn't turn back because if he did he might never leave.  And he resisted the urge to look at her one last time and let his body disappear into the mirror, shutting off the portal immediately locking away any chance to go back.  

He drifted behind Siwan and Shaolin, feeling the pull of time guiding him back safely to his time period.  It wasn't like traveling to the future where the pathway had been viciously trying to rip his body to shreds for seeking to go beyond what was natural.  But now that he was going back, it floated around him like the bubble of a mother's womb, safe and nurturing.  He let his mind be swept away by this soothing feel and lost himself to the time so that he could begin to heal.  

She watched him leave and not look back, knowing that he was true to his words and that he didn't want to say good-bye to her twice.  She whispered softly after he was already gone, "Good-bye Dangyun."  Tears streamed down her face at the pain she seen written on his face before and then again after she had told them.  She shrugged her head sadly and left the room.  

She walked down the passage way toward the front door where outside Syaoran was still waiting for her.  She pushed open the door and wiped her tears away.  The sight of both Eriol and Syaoran standing together, making a comment to each other once in a while uplifted her heart to see them finally get along.  _Now if only Touya and those two could get along,_ she thought, _and everything would be as perfect as can be._  

"So, Sakura… you chose Syaoran," Touya commented, carefully keeping his nicknames for the two of them out of his speech for now noting the fresh tear stains on her cheeks.  

"Yes, I did," she said, smiling up at her still taller niichan.  

"I suppose you're going to marry him eventually, aren't you?"  

"Yes, I suppose I am."  

"Well, I guess I'll have to get along with him better then, huh?"  

"You better."  

"Are you threatening me?" asked Touya with fake shock.  

"Of course not," Sakura remarked, "I'm just letting you know what to do to get on my good side."  

"And why would I ever do that?"  

"Because you love and I love you," she said simply.  

He didn't say anything, giving her a hug and then pushed her off the porch toward Syaoran.  He winked at her and went back inside.  Sakura laughed then causing both Eriol's and Syaoran's heads to move toward her direction.  Eriol shoved Syaoran to her and stepped to the side disappearing from view, another one of his magician's tricks.  She laughed again, a sweet sound that sent her running in Syaoran's direction.  For once she was going to think of what she wanted.  It wasn't in her to be selfish, but Syaoran was the one she wanted and the one she loved.  

There's was no going back.  

He swept her into his arms, pulling her around in a dizzying circle that reminded her of what this day was.  

The end… 

and the beginning… 

of everything.  

**_The End._**


End file.
